life

<p>When you&#39;re getting married, it&#39;s easy to fall into &quot;me-me-me&quot; mode. One bride is asking for advice on whether she&#39;s taking this mindset too far.</p><p>The bride is engaged, and her sister just announced that she and <em>her</em> boyfriend will be getting married within the next year or two, too. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e6sug3/aita_for_being_upset_with_my_sister_for_trying_to/">Her question</a>: is it cool to ask her sister not to get married the same year as she does?</p><p>The backstory:</p><blockquote> <p>I&#39;m 23. I&#39;ve been with my BF for almost 3 years and we&#39;re planning to get married in Summer 2021. I announced this to my family several months ago. My sister is 21 and has been with her BF for ~1.5 years. A couple weeks ago she dropped the bomb that she and her BF were also planning to get married in the next &quot;year or two.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>It seems the sister and her man aren&#39;t engaged, but Sis wanted to warn her that they might be soon.</h2><blockquote> <p>I got very concerned and asked her if we could talk further about the matter to make sure our weddings didn&#39;t both land on the same year. I raised the points that:</p> <p>- I didn&#39;t want people to have to choose between our weddings when planning travel (we&#39;re in different states)</p> <p>- I didn&#39;t want people to be comparing our weddings, our budget, our dresses, etc.</p> <p>- I didn&#39;t want my parents to be torn as to which daughter&#39;s wedding to financially help out with</p> </blockquote><h2>True, two weddings in two states for one family is a headache &mdash; and kind of a d*ck move!</h2><blockquote> <p>Bottom line is I don&#39;t want our weddings to compete, as we&#39;d be inviting all of the same family and also the same mutual friends. I asked her not to schedule her wedding ideally within 12 months of mine. She said she didn&#39;t see the big deal and maintains that &quot;we&#39;ll get married based on when he proposes, I&#39;m not delaying my wedding for your sake&quot;.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>To be fair, it seems like the bride also just doesn&#39;t want to share the spotlight.</h2><blockquote> <p>I am extremely upset with her. She hasn&#39;t shown any desire to work with me and as far as I&#39;m aware, she&#39;d go right ahead and schedule her wedding within, say 6 months of me. Weddings are a HUGE financial investment and they&#39;re not the kind of thing you can move around willy-nilly to accommodate for someone else. I even asked her if she could give me a general idea of when she wanted to get married and I will work with HER schedule. She said sorry, she didn&#39;t know.</p> </blockquote><h2>So now she wants to know if she can give her sister an ultimatum.</h2><blockquote> <p>WIBTA for laying down some kind of ultimatum? I obviously can&#39;t control her actions but I&#39;m really upset she won&#39;t respect this or work with me and I&#39;m trying to figure out what to do.</p> </blockquote><h2>Most Redditors agree: it&#39;s not the bride&#39;s place to give an ultimatum.</h2><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e6sug3/aita_for_being_upset_with_my_sister_for_trying_to/f9sxg5g/">SteelCadet</a> has personal experience with a sibling trying to lay out a timeline for life events, and she&#39;s not a fan.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>I hate people who try to control other people&#39;s lives. My sister expected me to wait to have kids.</p> <p>My son is almost 2 now, and my Sister is childless. My life waits for no one but me.</p> </blockquote><p>And <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e6sug3/aita_for_being_upset_with_my_sister_for_trying_to/f9sxhbw/">thatsnotaknoife</a> argues that while it&#39;s understandable to want some space between the weddings, a year is overboard:</p><blockquote> <p>you can&rsquo;t claim a whole year for your wedding. maybe if she was planning it within a month of your own wedding i&rsquo;d agree but asking to wait 12 months after yours is extremely unreasonable IMO.</p> </blockquote><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e6sug3/aita_for_being_upset_with_my_sister_for_trying_to/f9sxmhd/">Carolinemathildes</a> agrees that a year is too far:</p><blockquote> <p>YTA. You cannot claim an entire year for your wedding.</p> </blockquote><p>And <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e6sug3/aita_for_being_upset_with_my_sister_for_trying_to/f9sxt1g/">Rain_rain89</a> thinks the bride has ulterior motives:</p><blockquote> <p>Where is the rule book that says siblings can&rsquo;t get married in the same year?</p> <p>You sound more worried that you&rsquo;re not going to be the center of attention.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>But not everyone agrees. Some think the sister&#39;s also being a nightmare.</h2><p>Some say it&#39;s a little weird that the sister&#39;s staking a claim on her wedding when she&#39;s not even engaged yet. Says <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e6sug3/aita_for_being_upset_with_my_sister_for_trying_to/f9sxezv/">friendlynea</a>:</p><blockquote> <p>Wtf...</p> <p>So her partner hasn&#39;t proposed yet but she&#39;s telling everyone that they will be getting married in the next year or two? That&#39;s crazy enough on its own.</p> <p>But you think you&#39;re entitled to a whole 12 months for your wedding?</p> <p>[Everyone sucks here] so hard.</p> </blockquote><p>But even those who see the bride&#39;s point, like <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e6sug3/aita_for_being_upset_with_my_sister_for_trying_to/f9sxit2/">totesnotanalien</a>, don&#39;t feel an ultimatum would be appropriate.</p><blockquote> <p>I kinda get your concerns but YWBTA if you gave any sort of ultimatum.</p> </blockquote><h2>After all this, the bride weighed in, saying she understands why an ultimatum is a bad idea &mdash; but she still doesn&#39;t want to give her sister the final say.</h2><blockquote> <p>EDIT: Okay, there&#39;s a pretty clear consensus so far! Reserving an entire year is a lot to ask for, that&#39;s totally fair. Does anyone have any better suggestions of how I can approach the discussion? AKA: Let it happen when it happens, ask her if she can avoid planning within say, 3 months of my wedding, etc.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>To which we say: good luck with that!</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Bride asks if she's wrong to force sister to postpone wedding so they're at least a year apart.

When you&#39;re getting married, it&#39;s easy to fall into &quot;me-me-me&quot; mode. One bride is asking for advice on whether she&#39;s taking this mindset too far.The bride is engaged, and her sister just announced that she and her boyfriend will be getting married within the next year or two, too. Her question: is it cool to ask her sister not to get married the same year as she does?The backstory: I&#39;m 23. I&#39;ve been with my BF for almost 3 years and we&#39;re planning to get married in Summer 2021. I announced this to my family several months ago. My sister is 21 and has been with her BF for ~1.5 years. A couple weeks ago she dropped the bomb that she and her BF were also planning to get married in the next &quot;year or two.&quot; It seems the sister and her man aren&#39;t engaged, but Sis wanted to warn her that they might be soon. I got very concerned and asked her if we could talk further about the matter to make sure our weddings didn&#39;t both land on the same year. I raised the points that: - I didn&#39;t want people to have to choose between our weddings when planning travel (we&#39;re in different states) - I didn&#39;t want people to be comparing our weddings, our budget, our dresses, etc. - I didn&#39;t want my parents to be torn as to which daughter&#39;s wedding to financially help out with True, two weddings in two states for one family is a headache &mdash; and kind of a d*ck move! Bottom line is I don&#39;t want our weddings to compete, as we&#39;d be inviting all of the same family and also the same mutual friends. I asked her not to schedule her wedding ideally within 12 months of mine. She said she didn&#39;t see the big deal and maintains that &quot;we&#39;ll get married based on when he proposes, I&#39;m not delaying my wedding for your sake&quot;. To be fair, it seems like the bride also just doesn&#39;t want to share the spotlight. I am extremely upset with her. She hasn&#39;t shown any desire to work with me and as far as I&#39;m aware, she&#39;d go right ahead and schedule her wedding within, say 6 months of me. Weddings are a HUGE financial investment and they&#39;re not the kind of thing you can move around willy-nilly to accommodate for someone else. I even asked her if she could give me a general idea of when she wanted to get married and I will work with HER schedule. She said sorry, she didn&#39;t know. So now she wants to know if she can give her sister an ultimatum. WIBTA for laying down some kind of ultimatum? I obviously can&#39;t control her actions but I&#39;m really upset she won&#39;t respect this or work with me and I&#39;m trying to figure out what to do. Most Redditors agree: it&#39;s not the bride&#39;s place to give an ultimatum.SteelCadet has personal experience with a sibling trying to lay out a timeline for life events, and she&#39;s not a fan. I hate people who try to control other people&#39;s lives. My sister expected me to wait to have kids. My son is almost 2 now, and my Sister is childless. My life waits for no one but me. And thatsnotaknoife argues that while it&#39;s understandable to want some space between the weddings, a year is overboard: you can&rsquo;t claim a whole year for your wedding. maybe if she was planning it within a month of your own wedding i&rsquo;d agree but asking to wait 12 months after yours is extremely unreasonable IMO. Carolinemathildes agrees that a year is too far: YTA. You cannot claim an entire year for your wedding. And Rain_rain89 thinks the bride has ulterior motives: Where is the rule book that says siblings can&rsquo;t get married in the same year? You sound more worried that you&rsquo;re not going to be the center of attention. But not everyone agrees. Some think the sister&#39;s also being a nightmare.Some say it&#39;s a little weird that the sister&#39;s staking a claim on her wedding when she&#39;s not even engaged yet. Says friendlynea: Wtf... So her partner hasn&#39;t proposed yet but she&#39;s telling everyone that they will be getting married in the next year or two? That&#39;s crazy enough on its own. But you think you&#39;re entitled to a whole 12 months for your wedding? [Everyone sucks here] so hard. But even those who see the bride&#39;s point, like totesnotanalien, don&#39;t feel an ultimatum would be appropriate. I kinda get your concerns but YWBTA if you gave any sort of ultimatum. After all this, the bride weighed in, saying she understands why an ultimatum is a bad idea &mdash; but she still doesn&#39;t want to give her sister the final say. EDIT: Okay, there&#39;s a pretty clear consensus so far! Reserving an entire year is a lot to ask for, that&#39;s totally fair. Does anyone have any better suggestions of how I can approach the discussion? AKA: Let it happen when it happens, ask her if she can avoid planning within say, 3 months of my wedding, etc. To which we say: good luck with that!

When you&#39;re getting married, it&#39;s easy to fall into &quot;me-me-me&quot; mode. One bride is asking for advice on whether she&#39;s taking this mindset too far.  The bride is engaged, and her sister just announced that she and her...