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<p>We&#39;ve all heard of overly controlling brides, but this mother of the groom would make any bridezilla look chill.</p><p>A bridesmaid has <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/dyfhau/wibta_for_not_styling_my_hair_the_way_the_bride/">sought the advice of the internet</a> after her friend&#39;s soon-to-be-mother-in-law tried to impose some frankly racist rules onto her appearance.</p><p>The bride in question is pretty laid back, the friend says, so her mother, mother-in-law, fianc&eacute; and maid of honor have made most of the aesthetic choices for the wedding:</p><blockquote> <p>As a result, her MIL chose the wedding colors, and her maid of honor chose the dresses, shoes and hairstyles for the bridesmaids. We are all excited because the color and dresses are gorgeous!</p> </blockquote><h2>But when it comes to hair and makeup for the big day, this is where things get awkward:</h2><blockquote> <p>Everyone in the wedding is white/chinese and I&rsquo;m Nigerian. Up until now, that was not a problem because I can style my own hair and do my own make up. Recently, though, I got into a car accident which makes it hard for me to use my right arm/shoulder, so I can not style my hair the way everyone else is.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>The bride doesn&#39;t care how the bridesmaid wears her hair... but her mother-in-law feels differently.</h2><blockquote> <p>I told the bride I would wear my hair in curls and she didn&rsquo;t care as usual. Well, I guess she (or the maid of honor) told her MIL because her MIL messaged me on Facebook asking me to get my hair done with the stylist doing the other girls&rsquo; hair. I politely refused because I don&rsquo;t trust the stylist with my hair texture, and don&rsquo;t want to straighten my hair.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>(We met the stylist a few weeks ago and she didn&rsquo;t have any make up in my skin shade, and when she got to my hair for consult she said it was like the &ldquo;green part of the sponge.&rdquo;)</p> </blockquote><p>That sponge comment: wow.</p><p>And yes, the groom&#39;s mom <em>messaged her on Facebook</em> to tell her that her plan for her hair was unacceptable. She wants the bridesmaid to go along with whatever the brides&#39; stylist does. But the bridesmaid doesn&#39;t think that stylist will be able to handle her curl pattern, especially after she admitted she didn&#39;t have a diverse range of foundation shades.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Predictably, the groom&#39;s mom pulled the pay card.</h2><blockquote> <p>Her MIL got upset and said that she was paying for the stylist and paying for everything else, and accused me of being selfish and ungrateful. I messaged the bride again about my hair and she hasn&rsquo;t answered in two days (usually she would answer in an hour or less).</p> </blockquote><p>Her question: would she be the a-hole if she continues to refuse the mother-in-law&#39;s hair advances? Or should she just bite the bullet and do what the groom&#39;s mom wants?</p><h2>The internet says she should do whatever the eff she wants with her hair.</h2><p>&quot;It&rsquo;s your hair!&quot; writes <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/dyfhau/wibta_for_not_styling_my_hair_the_way_the_bride/f80tsuq/">usertakensorry</a>. &quot;And besides, it isn&rsquo;t even the bride who objects&mdash;it&rsquo;s the mother of the groom! Ignore her and have your hair however you&rsquo;d like.&quot;</p><p>Another user, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/dyfhau/wibta_for_not_styling_my_hair_the_way_the_bride/f815wtj/">aardvarkmom</a>, says it might be a bad sign that the bride has stopped answering... but that the bridesmaid should still do what she wants:</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>It&rsquo;s weird that the bride hasn&rsquo;t replied to you, but she seems pretty checked-out in general with this whole wedding. So maybe it&rsquo;s not that she&rsquo;s ignoring YOU specifically, she&rsquo;s just like, whatever. You should do what you need to do to protect your hair and your shoulder.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Also NTA. If the MIL wanted you to have your hair done, she could have found a proper stylist for your hair, instead of someone who&rsquo;s clueless and racist. MIL is the AH.</p> </blockquote><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/dyfhau/wibta_for_not_styling_my_hair_the_way_the_bride/f80u3ay/">IChoseYouSnorlax</a> agreed that the mother-in-law has no right to insist on how the bridesmaid does her hair:</p><blockquote> <p>Nooooo girl do NOT let that woman do your hair! She has no idea how to do it and I guarantee she will fuck it up.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Ignore the MIL. If she makes it a huge issue, you&#39;re just going to have to explain that you&#39;re not damaging your hair by having someone who doesn&#39;t have a clue how to deal with your texture hair. Period.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Hopefully she will back down. And I would be insulted trying to get make-up and hair done from someone who was ignorant enough to compare my hair to a sponge.</p> </blockquote><p>And <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/dyfhau/wibta_for_not_styling_my_hair_the_way_the_bride/f80unhp/">UndeadGearHead</a> put it succinctly:</p><blockquote> <p>If you don&#39;t trust someone with your hair, don&#39;t let them touch it. Oh man. Especially after the sponge comment. That&#39;s super nasty.</p> <p>They can just deal. Don&#39;t risk your hair.</p> </blockquote><p>The bridesmaid responded to comments saying she now plans to stay strong and insist on not letting that lady near her hair:</p><p>&quot;I&rsquo;m going to mention the [sponge] comment to the bride&rsquo;s MIL again and try to get her to understand,&quot; she added.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Bridesmaid asks if she's wrong for not agreeing to straighten hair for wedding.

We&#39;ve all heard of overly controlling brides, but this mother of the groom would make any bridezilla look chill.A bridesmaid has sought the advice of the internet after her friend&#39;s soon-to-be-mother-in-law tried to impose some frankly racist rules onto her appearance.The bride in question is pretty laid back, the friend says, so her mother, mother-in-law, fianc&eacute; and maid of honor have made most of the aesthetic choices for the wedding: As a result, her MIL chose the wedding colors, and her maid of honor chose the dresses, shoes and hairstyles for the bridesmaids. We are all excited because the color and dresses are gorgeous! But when it comes to hair and makeup for the big day, this is where things get awkward: Everyone in the wedding is white/chinese and I&rsquo;m Nigerian. Up until now, that was not a problem because I can style my own hair and do my own make up. Recently, though, I got into a car accident which makes it hard for me to use my right arm/shoulder, so I can not style my hair the way everyone else is. The bride doesn&#39;t care how the bridesmaid wears her hair... but her mother-in-law feels differently. I told the bride I would wear my hair in curls and she didn&rsquo;t care as usual. Well, I guess she (or the maid of honor) told her MIL because her MIL messaged me on Facebook asking me to get my hair done with the stylist doing the other girls&rsquo; hair. I politely refused because I don&rsquo;t trust the stylist with my hair texture, and don&rsquo;t want to straighten my hair.  (We met the stylist a few weeks ago and she didn&rsquo;t have any make up in my skin shade, and when she got to my hair for consult she said it was like the &ldquo;green part of the sponge.&rdquo;) That sponge comment: wow.And yes, the groom&#39;s mom messaged her on Facebook to tell her that her plan for her hair was unacceptable. She wants the bridesmaid to go along with whatever the brides&#39; stylist does. But the bridesmaid doesn&#39;t think that stylist will be able to handle her curl pattern, especially after she admitted she didn&#39;t have a diverse range of foundation shades.Predictably, the groom&#39;s mom pulled the pay card. Her MIL got upset and said that she was paying for the stylist and paying for everything else, and accused me of being selfish and ungrateful. I messaged the bride again about my hair and she hasn&rsquo;t answered in two days (usually she would answer in an hour or less). Her question: would she be the a-hole if she continues to refuse the mother-in-law&#39;s hair advances? Or should she just bite the bullet and do what the groom&#39;s mom wants?The internet says she should do whatever the eff she wants with her hair.&quot;It&rsquo;s your hair!&quot; writes usertakensorry. &quot;And besides, it isn&rsquo;t even the bride who objects&mdash;it&rsquo;s the mother of the groom! Ignore her and have your hair however you&rsquo;d like.&quot;Another user, aardvarkmom, says it might be a bad sign that the bride has stopped answering... but that the bridesmaid should still do what she wants: It&rsquo;s weird that the bride hasn&rsquo;t replied to you, but she seems pretty checked-out in general with this whole wedding. So maybe it&rsquo;s not that she&rsquo;s ignoring YOU specifically, she&rsquo;s just like, whatever. You should do what you need to do to protect your hair and your shoulder.  Also NTA. If the MIL wanted you to have your hair done, she could have found a proper stylist for your hair, instead of someone who&rsquo;s clueless and racist. MIL is the AH. IChoseYouSnorlax agreed that the mother-in-law has no right to insist on how the bridesmaid does her hair: Nooooo girl do NOT let that woman do your hair! She has no idea how to do it and I guarantee she will fuck it up.  Ignore the MIL. If she makes it a huge issue, you&#39;re just going to have to explain that you&#39;re not damaging your hair by having someone who doesn&#39;t have a clue how to deal with your texture hair. Period.  Hopefully she will back down. And I would be insulted trying to get make-up and hair done from someone who was ignorant enough to compare my hair to a sponge. And UndeadGearHead put it succinctly: If you don&#39;t trust someone with your hair, don&#39;t let them touch it. Oh man. Especially after the sponge comment. That&#39;s super nasty. They can just deal. Don&#39;t risk your hair. The bridesmaid responded to comments saying she now plans to stay strong and insist on not letting that lady near her hair:&quot;I&rsquo;m going to mention the [sponge] comment to the bride&rsquo;s MIL again and try to get her to understand,&quot; she added.

We&#39;ve all heard of overly controlling brides, but this mother of the groom would make any bridezilla look chill.  A bridesmaid has sought the advice of the internet after her friend&#39;s soon-to-be-mother-in-law tried to impose some...