life

<p>We all know wedding are expensive, and sometimes the booze is the priciest part. But does that mean it&#39;s okay to make your wedding a 100% dry event?</p><p>A groom recently<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/or3owu/aita_for_not_wanting_alcohol_at_my_wedding_and/"> took to Reddit </a>to ask if he&#39;s in the wrong for not wanting to provide alcohol at his wedding. He wants to cut down on costs and says his side of the family doesn&#39;t drink anyway, while the bride thinks it&#39;s rude not to provide booze.</p><h2>The groom and his wife are mostly in agreement about the wedding:</h2><blockquote> <p>So I (M22) and my fiancee (F22) just recently got engaged. We live in southern California and plan to get married next June. The issue that came up however is catering. Since I have extended family in Canada and friends in New Zealand, I would like to pay for a decent reception. (we are both frugal) my fiancee agrees. However, the problem is that she said we need to have alcohol at the wedding.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>He says his wife&#39;s friends and family would like booze:</h2><blockquote> <p>I drink extremely rarely, and my immediate family barely does. Also my extended family and friends don&#39;t really drink. My fiancee said her friends and family would expect us to have alcohol because it&#39;s the thing to do. I suggested we have people bring their own or we can have an after party with drinks, but she said that if we don&#39;t have alcohol some people might not even come, and it is an absolute necessity.</p> </blockquote><h2>Now he&#39;s wondering if he&#39;s in the wrong:</h2><blockquote> <p>[Am I the a-hole] for not wanting us to have to spend thousands extra on alcohol or for also then thinking we should go without alcohol anyway? I don&#39;t want people to come to a special wedding to celebrate with us and be there just for the alcohol. I&#39;ve been pushing back and she has been very angry with me. Thoughts?</p> </blockquote><h2>He added some more info:</h2><blockquote> <p>since some people asked: the way we were going before alcohol came up was we were going to rent a community center and have an outside caterer come in for the reception, the ceremony is at a different close by place. I&#39;m from Socal and so everything price wise is God tier now lol. My fiancee just graduated college and is starting subbing, I&#39;m entering my senior year. I work/will work 40/50 hours a week and she works hard too.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>He specified their exact budget:</h2><blockquote> <p>The money aspect is that we are trying to pay off all our loans (a decent chunk) by marriage and afford all these other things. (She wants a dog nice apartment etc which I totally support). Our budget for the wholeee wedding is 10 k. Not because we&#39;re frugal but bc... That&#39;s literally all we would have for it. So my money concern is just that since we were able to get everything include photography food cake dress etc in that budget, getting alcohol too (since the community center would then also require insurance and security guards since alcohol ridiculous ik) would push us wayyyy over.</p> </blockquote><h2>He says he&#39;s &quot;surprised&quot;:</h2><blockquote> <p>Tbh I&#39;m surprised by the absolute necessity of alcohol but if that&#39;s the culture I get it. I&#39;m down to do it but now Im just in a hard place, I looked into it and the community center requires alcohol to be from &quot;behind the bar&quot; etc so we can&#39;t do BYO. Should I look for a completely different venue or caterer or go with the catering drink options? The starting price of the caterer we are going with for paid bar would be around 4k for open bar. (They don&#39;t do paid bar for some reason)</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>The people of Reddit agree that he might need to consider adding alcohol to his budget since it&#39;s pretty expected in American culture.</h2><p>CaliforniaJade says:</p><blockquote> <p>So does your desire not to drink supersede her right to serve alcohol? Maybe if alcohol was a trigger for you, if you had a drinking problem, but just out of a sense of &lsquo;frugality&rsquo;? This seems to jump into the realm of just being cheap.</p> </blockquote><p>emccm offers a gentle suggestion:</p><blockquote> <p>People are saying &ldquo;it&rsquo;s your wedding so your choice&rdquo; but it&rsquo;s also your fianc&eacute;&rsquo;s wedding and she wants the alcohol. I don&rsquo;t drink but I know people expect alcohol at weddings and they get crazy about it. Your fianc&eacute; likely just wants to make her guests happy. It&rsquo;s hard to give a judgment on this. I feel it&rsquo;s a Not for not wanting alcohol but a soft Yes for insisting when it&rsquo;s equally important to her that there is alcohol.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>1800TurdFerguson gives a colorful response:</p><blockquote> <p>You don&rsquo;t have to have an open bar, but I swear to effing God that I will eat my cummerbund if I have to sit through another miserable alcohol-free reception. I still haven&rsquo;t forgiven the one friend who pulled this crap, and it&rsquo;s been 20+ years. We couldn&rsquo;t even bribe the limo bus driver to stop at a convenience store so we could pick up booze.</p> </blockquote><p>They suggest:</p><blockquote> <p>Maybe set up a ticketing system where everyone gets a couple of free drinks, and it&rsquo;s a cash bar after that. Literally nobody but a hardcore teetotaler wants to sit through yet another first dance to &ldquo;How Sweet It Is&rdquo; or another wedding DJ playing &ldquo;September&rdquo; without some liquid fortitude.</p> <p>Your fianc&eacute;e wants alcohol at the wedding. Have you heard the phrase &ldquo;happy wife, happy life&rdquo;? If not, you should familiarize yourself on that one. Yes, YTA for not wanting alcohol at your wedding.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Aperscapers agrees:</p><blockquote> <p>I&rsquo;m from the south so I have been to so many dry weddings. They are so Boring. No one dances and people just seem like they can&rsquo;t wait to leave. Half the guests leave and go to their cars to drink and then sneak back in. I get it, alcohol isn&rsquo;t necessary and you don&rsquo;t need booze to have fun, but damn having a dry wedding on a Saturday night changes the entire vibe of the event. If people want a dry wedding, have it during the day.</p> </blockquote><p>G2KY lays down the law:</p><blockquote> <p>You are not frugal, you are cheap. If this is a sine qua non for her, you should accept. And in weddings, each people attending the ceremony pay for their expenses. I don&rsquo;t know why bring up you have family in far places. If they want to attend the wedding, they can pay for themselves. A wedding without alcohol is no wedding for me.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>And malkie0609 points out that people are raveling from far and wide for this:</p><blockquote> <p>if people are coming from all over the world to a wedding, they are likely going to expect alcohol. It&#39;s a common wedding tradition. It seems like a money thing but at the same time you don&#39;t seem to give any specific reason for not wanting alcohol. Ultimately it&#39;s up to you and your fiance but it sounds like she wants this super common thing to happen at your wedding and you&#39;re just being cheap about it.</p> </blockquote><h2>The groom later added that he apologized and will reconsider:</h2><blockquote> <p>I apologized to my fiancee btw for not listening like I should have and putting my needs above hers without thinking. She apologized for getting heated too and we&#39;re trying to work out how to do this.</p> <p>Thanks everyone for the comments!</p> </blockquote><h2>So there you go. A dry wedding is an a-hole move, according to Reddit.</h2><p>Sorry!</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Groom asks if he's wrong for not wanting to provide any alcohol at wedding reception.

We all know wedding are expensive, and sometimes the booze is the priciest part. But does that mean it&#39;s okay to make your wedding a 100% dry event?A groom recently took to Reddit to ask if he&#39;s in the wrong for not wanting to provide alcohol at his wedding. He wants to cut down on costs and says his side of the family doesn&#39;t drink anyway, while the bride thinks it&#39;s rude not to provide booze.The groom and his wife are mostly in agreement about the wedding: So I (M22) and my fiancee (F22) just recently got engaged. We live in southern California and plan to get married next June. The issue that came up however is catering. Since I have extended family in Canada and friends in New Zealand, I would like to pay for a decent reception. (we are both frugal) my fiancee agrees. However, the problem is that she said we need to have alcohol at the wedding. He says his wife&#39;s friends and family would like booze: I drink extremely rarely, and my immediate family barely does. Also my extended family and friends don&#39;t really drink. My fiancee said her friends and family would expect us to have alcohol because it&#39;s the thing to do. I suggested we have people bring their own or we can have an after party with drinks, but she said that if we don&#39;t have alcohol some people might not even come, and it is an absolute necessity. Now he&#39;s wondering if he&#39;s in the wrong: [Am I the a-hole] for not wanting us to have to spend thousands extra on alcohol or for also then thinking we should go without alcohol anyway? I don&#39;t want people to come to a special wedding to celebrate with us and be there just for the alcohol. I&#39;ve been pushing back and she has been very angry with me. Thoughts? He added some more info: since some people asked: the way we were going before alcohol came up was we were going to rent a community center and have an outside caterer come in for the reception, the ceremony is at a different close by place. I&#39;m from Socal and so everything price wise is God tier now lol. My fiancee just graduated college and is starting subbing, I&#39;m entering my senior year. I work/will work 40/50 hours a week and she works hard too. He specified their exact budget: The money aspect is that we are trying to pay off all our loans (a decent chunk) by marriage and afford all these other things. (She wants a dog nice apartment etc which I totally support). Our budget for the wholeee wedding is 10 k. Not because we&#39;re frugal but bc... That&#39;s literally all we would have for it. So my money concern is just that since we were able to get everything include photography food cake dress etc in that budget, getting alcohol too (since the community center would then also require insurance and security guards since alcohol ridiculous ik) would push us wayyyy over. He says he&#39;s &quot;surprised&quot;: Tbh I&#39;m surprised by the absolute necessity of alcohol but if that&#39;s the culture I get it. I&#39;m down to do it but now Im just in a hard place, I looked into it and the community center requires alcohol to be from &quot;behind the bar&quot; etc so we can&#39;t do BYO. Should I look for a completely different venue or caterer or go with the catering drink options? The starting price of the caterer we are going with for paid bar would be around 4k for open bar. (They don&#39;t do paid bar for some reason) The people of Reddit agree that he might need to consider adding alcohol to his budget since it&#39;s pretty expected in American culture.CaliforniaJade says: So does your desire not to drink supersede her right to serve alcohol? Maybe if alcohol was a trigger for you, if you had a drinking problem, but just out of a sense of &lsquo;frugality&rsquo;? This seems to jump into the realm of just being cheap. emccm offers a gentle suggestion: People are saying &ldquo;it&rsquo;s your wedding so your choice&rdquo; but it&rsquo;s also your fianc&eacute;&rsquo;s wedding and she wants the alcohol. I don&rsquo;t drink but I know people expect alcohol at weddings and they get crazy about it. Your fianc&eacute; likely just wants to make her guests happy. It&rsquo;s hard to give a judgment on this. I feel it&rsquo;s a Not for not wanting alcohol but a soft Yes for insisting when it&rsquo;s equally important to her that there is alcohol. 1800TurdFerguson gives a colorful response: You don&rsquo;t have to have an open bar, but I swear to effing God that I will eat my cummerbund if I have to sit through another miserable alcohol-free reception. I still haven&rsquo;t forgiven the one friend who pulled this crap, and it&rsquo;s been 20+ years. We couldn&rsquo;t even bribe the limo bus driver to stop at a convenience store so we could pick up booze. They suggest: Maybe set up a ticketing system where everyone gets a couple of free drinks, and it&rsquo;s a cash bar after that. Literally nobody but a hardcore teetotaler wants to sit through yet another first dance to &ldquo;How Sweet It Is&rdquo; or another wedding DJ playing &ldquo;September&rdquo; without some liquid fortitude. Your fianc&eacute;e wants alcohol at the wedding. Have you heard the phrase &ldquo;happy wife, happy life&rdquo;? If not, you should familiarize yourself on that one. Yes, YTA for not wanting alcohol at your wedding. Aperscapers agrees: I&rsquo;m from the south so I have been to so many dry weddings. They are so Boring. No one dances and people just seem like they can&rsquo;t wait to leave. Half the guests leave and go to their cars to drink and then sneak back in. I get it, alcohol isn&rsquo;t necessary and you don&rsquo;t need booze to have fun, but damn having a dry wedding on a Saturday night changes the entire vibe of the event. If people want a dry wedding, have it during the day. G2KY lays down the law: You are not frugal, you are cheap. If this is a sine qua non for her, you should accept. And in weddings, each people attending the ceremony pay for their expenses. I don&rsquo;t know why bring up you have family in far places. If they want to attend the wedding, they can pay for themselves. A wedding without alcohol is no wedding for me. And malkie0609 points out that people are raveling from far and wide for this: if people are coming from all over the world to a wedding, they are likely going to expect alcohol. It&#39;s a common wedding tradition. It seems like a money thing but at the same time you don&#39;t seem to give any specific reason for not wanting alcohol. Ultimately it&#39;s up to you and your fiance but it sounds like she wants this super common thing to happen at your wedding and you&#39;re just being cheap about it. The groom later added that he apologized and will reconsider: I apologized to my fiancee btw for not listening like I should have and putting my needs above hers without thinking. She apologized for getting heated too and we&#39;re trying to work out how to do this. Thanks everyone for the comments! So there you go. A dry wedding is an a-hole move, according to Reddit.Sorry!

We all know wedding are expensive, and sometimes the booze is the priciest part. But does that mean it&#39;s okay to make your wedding a 100% dry event?  A groom recently took to Reddit to ask if he&#39;s in the wrong for not wanting to...