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Mom asks if she's wrong to say daughter shouldn't pay for bachelorette party.

Mom asks if she's wrong to say daughter shouldn't pay for bachelorette party.


The wedding costs bridesmaids have to cover seem to balloon more and more every year. And now a mom is seeking advice after a bride asked her 12-year-old daughter to help pay for her bachelorette party and bridal shower.

The girl is a junior bridesmaid, but the mom still thinks it's a little crazy to expect her to pay for these things. The mom took to Reddit to ask for advice.

The mom and her daughter are both in the bridal party:

My younger brother is getting married next year and I am a bridesmaid along with my daughter who is a Junior bridesmaid and my other daughter who is the flower girl. There is 10 bridesmaids all together two of them being Junior bridesmaids.

The mom says the adults normally cover costs:

So all of the adults are in a Facebook text chain and we're trying to figure out the party and everything and I'm hoping that you guys can help. Every wedding I've been in or my daughter has been in the adult bridesmaids paid for the bridal shower.

This included decorations, food, venue, cake, favors, games. never once have I ever heard of a child or parent of a child being financially responsible for that. I've always seen it where it's split between the adult bridesmaids. Am I wrong for thinking this?

Now she and the maid of honor are arguing:

Maid of honor and I just got into a heated debate over this for an over an hour. now in the beginning of our text change she had told us that none of us are allowed to speak to the bride about anything about the shower or any problems we're having we can only come to her, and her only she is now in charge of us.

It's getting heated:

After arguing about this and going back and forth I decided to leave the group because I did not want to have any more drama from this this woman. My daughter is not the only junior bridesmaid there is one other girl. I don't feel that the two young girls or their parents should have to worry about paying for their share of the party.

It's expensive, too:

The cost that the maid of honor is talking about is about $600 per bridesmaid. So that means now I would have to pay $1,200 for a shower. Am I wrong for thinking that the eight adult bridesmaids should be paying for this shower and not including the kids?

And there's also a bachelorette party to consider:

It is also understood that the junior bridesmaids would have to help chip in for the bachelor and bachelorette party as well. You're all going to Atlantic City for the weekend and the bridal party has to pay for travel costs and staying there in the hotels and all the food and booze for the whole weekend.

The people of the internet agree that the maid of honor is going overboard.

dnjprod says there's no way this is normal:

this is a ridiculous ask period. It's possible this maid of honor is making rules without the bride's knowledge and you have every right to speak with your SISTER IN LAW to be about such a ridiculous ask. Sounds to me like a way for her to reduce the amount of money she and the other childless bride maids have to pay while putting it all on the 2 mothers/children.

sheramom4 doesn't understand why the bridesmaids are paying for the shower anyway:

I am so confused by the entire 'the bridesmaids pay for the shower' thing as it is. My best friend hosted my shower and paid for it with my mom. I have two kids who have gotten married and I hosted my DIL's shower and my daughter's shower and paid for them. I have hosted showers for friends and paid for them as well. I don't think I have spent $6000 in total.

lc_2005 wonders where all the cash for the bridal shower is going:

Also, $600 per person for the shower, what the actual heck?!?!?! Even if the issue with the junior bridesmaids didn't exist, I would be backing out of being a part of the bridal party. I'd rather give those $600 directly to the newlyweds instead of putting it into a ridiculously over the top shower.

btchy_badger agrees:

first off this is insane! Who spends that much money on showers and bachelorette parties. And no, the children don’t have to pay their share. Pretty sure they won’t be chugging the mimosas and whooping it up on the weekend away

ohhhokthen also can't understand it:

The fact the shower seems to have a budget bigger than my wedding is amazing to me. I get all the adults chucking in a bit for nice food and possibly to go to some beautiful place, but unless you're taking a vacation for this shower that price is wild.

Tiamat_fire_and_ice lays it out:

Okay, that doesn’t make any sense. It’s ridiculous to ask or to expect kids to pay for anything. “Junior Bridesmaid” is really just a made up title for girls who need to be included in the wedding party but are too old to be flower girls. It’s a curtesy title. They’re not expected to be on the same level as the adult women who are bridesmaids.

So there you have it: the court of public opinion states that 'junior bridesmaids' are not the same as adult bridesmaids.

And they don't have to pay for your mimosas, dammit!

Update !!!!

My brother and SIL had no idea this party was being planned so extravagantly. Neither one of them want a shower that is going to cost this much. They both said they were going to talk to the MOH and tone her back a little. SIL is actually very angry as she knows her sister wouldn't be able to afford that either.

Thank you all for helping me. I had no idea this was going to blow up so much !

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