life

<p>In 2021, are women allowed to say they don&#39;t love being pregnant?</p><p>You might think this is a given. But for some people, it&#39;s apparently too triggering to hear that pregnancy isn&#39;t a cakewalk. And one mom is asking whether she did something wrong by revealing her pregnancy ambivalence to a woman who was struggling with infertility.</p><p>The woman <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/n5xuwd/aita_for_saying_i_dont_love_being_pregnant_or_the/">took to Reddit</a> to ask if she&#39;d done something wrong by admitting that for her, pregnancy low-key sucks.</p><h2>She says she only really had kids because of an agreement she and her husband had reached:</h2><blockquote> <p>Background: I have always been career-driven. I have a good job (think executive level) and take pride in it. My husband also has a good job but nothing he is passionate about. I was ambivalent about having children to begin with but I was open to the idea as long as I didn&rsquo;t have to give up my career or most of my lifestyle.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Before my son was born, my husband and I had many conversations about this and ultimately decided that he would be the one to step back from his career if and when the time came. Don&rsquo;t get me wrong, I love my son and will love the new baby too but I really have no interest in staying home with my children.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>She explains that she didn&#39;t see many people during her first pregnancy:</h2><blockquote> <p>I (31F) have a 1.5-year-old son, &ldquo;Connor&rdquo; and I am pregnant with my 2nd, due in Sept. My husband, &ldquo;Adam&rdquo; and I recently announced this pregnancy to our family and a few friends. We moved across the country for my job right before the pandemic so during my first pregnancy I was not around any of my husband&rsquo;s family and friends.</p> </blockquote><h2>Recently, they saw their friends again:</h2><blockquote> <p>On Sunday we got together at a friend&rsquo;s house. Most of these people are friends of my husband who are nice but I&rsquo;m not very close with them. Most of them knew I was pregnant but a few did not including, &ldquo;Amy&rdquo; (30s) who got very quiet when others were</p> <p>Congratulating us. I thanked everyone but just sort of moved on from it.</p> </blockquote><h2>Soon, the conversation turned to pregnancy:</h2><blockquote> <p>Later on, I found myself out on the deck with most of the other wives, including Amy. They started asking me how I was feeling. Then Amy (no kids) started commenting about how wonderful it is to be a mom and be pregnant. I didn&rsquo;t really say much while some of the other mothers agreed.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Amy then turns to me and asked if I disagreed with her. I said that I honestly do not enjoy being pregnant and the baby stage is tough and while I am happy to have another baby I am not really looking forward to taking time off and being stuck at home.</p> </blockquote><h2>They didn&#39;t like that:</h2><blockquote> <p>Some of the other women started to say that I must have PPD bc I &ldquo;don&rsquo;t love&rdquo; my children and that I should take some time off and get into therapy because I &ldquo;won&rsquo;t be any good to my children if I am depressed.&rdquo; I told them not to worry that I was perfectly fine and I didn&rsquo;t need to love pregnancy or the baby stage to be a good parent. I said getting back to work after the baby is born will help.</p> </blockquote><h2>Especially when it came to one of the women:</h2><blockquote> <p>These women were horrified and Amy started crying because she has struggled with infertility and there is no justice since &quot;people like me&quot; get to have 2 kids while she has none. I told her I was sorry about her struggle and I did not mean to offend her but was just speaking honestly about motherhood.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>People were angry:</h2><blockquote> <p>Well, word got back to my in-laws (one of the guests is my husband&#39;s cousin and wife) and all hell has broken loose. They are horrified that I do not plan to take more than a few weeks off and that I am &quot;forcing my husband&quot; to do most of the childcare. They are now convinced that I have PPD. They also think that saying what I said at the party makes me TA. I feel like I was asked a question and gave an honest answer.</p> </blockquote><h2>She added some details about the division of labor with her husband:</h2><blockquote> <p>my husband is not a SAHD as we have a nanny but he is the one that will have to take time off if/when kids are sick, do homework with them, etc.</p> </blockquote><h2>The people of Reddit say she didn&#39;t do anything wrong, and her friends may or may not be living in the &#39;50s.</h2><p>cleo4568 says:</p><blockquote> <p>Loving your children and loving being pregnant are two different things!! Don&#39;t listen to them, they are not in your marriage. Do what works for YOUR family.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Fleegle2212 agrees:</p><blockquote> <p>Thank you for helping to normalize your opinion, which many share, but few will admit - for just this reason.</p> </blockquote><p>UmiiUmiiUmiiUmii says it&#39;s probably best not to be super honest about this stuff with strangers, though:</p><blockquote> <p>Oh, friend, what did you do... of course you&#39;re NTA, but those topics are TABOO! You cannot be that brand of honest around people not extremely close to you. And even then, you must be careful...<br /> Your in-laws are spinning things out of control, it seems. And, aside from that, where does your husband stand on this right NOW? Are you &quot;forcing&quot; him to take care of the new baby? Did he do something to rectify all this nonsense?</p> </blockquote><p>But Nyx_shadowspan explains it well:</p><blockquote> <p>My pregnancy was miserable. I had severe SPD and my pelvis felt like it was being cracked open with every step, my hips dislocated whenever I went to stand up, I had horrible hormonal acne worse than I&#39;ve ever had acne in my life and all the doctors I saw for it said the only thing that would make it go away was giving birth, I developed preeclampsia and my swelled up and felt like a bloated hideous beached whale. And I had to be bedridden my entire third trimester. It sucked.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>Once I was complaining about how much I hated being pregnant to my brother, and he said I couldn&#39;t really complain because I &quot;wanted this.&quot; No. I wanted my child. Pregnancy and its awfulness was an unfortunate, horrible hurdle I had to overcome to get my child.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>You want a child. You don&#39;t enjoy pregnancy and the baby stage and that&#39;s fine. It doesn&#39;t mean you won&#39;t love your baby, you just are excited for when they&#39;re a bit older. They were being incredibly rude to you, and I&#39;m sorry they treated you that way.</p> </blockquote><p>Real-Donut-197s says:</p><blockquote> <p>Most of these people seem to be stuck on this bs sexist idea that men can&#39;t be stay-at-home dads. They probably think the man should do all the work while you stay at home cooking cleaning and poppin out babies. Also, it was NOT ok for those people to suggest you don&#39;t love your children. Even if they were suggesting ppd. It&#39;s not ok.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>And disguised_hashbrown thinks Amy shouldn&#39;t ask questions she doesn&#39;t want answers to:</p><blockquote> <p>Amy set you up to fail with her question. Not to be horrible, but how would she know how &ldquo;wonderful&rdquo; pregnancy is anyway? Certainly not personal experience. She doesn&rsquo;t need to be asking questions that she doesn&rsquo;t want the answers to.</p> </blockquote><h2>So there you go: it&#39;s okay to complain about crappy health situations!</h2><p>But also, it might be easier to avoid talking about this stuff to people you don&#39;t know that well.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Mom asks if she was wrong for complaining to infertile woman about pregnancy.

In 2021, are women allowed to say they don&#39;t love being pregnant?You might think this is a given. But for some people, it&#39;s apparently too triggering to hear that pregnancy isn&#39;t a cakewalk. And one mom is asking whether she did something wrong by revealing her pregnancy ambivalence to a woman who was struggling with infertility.The woman took to Reddit to ask if she&#39;d done something wrong by admitting that for her, pregnancy low-key sucks.She says she only really had kids because of an agreement she and her husband had reached: Background: I have always been career-driven. I have a good job (think executive level) and take pride in it. My husband also has a good job but nothing he is passionate about. I was ambivalent about having children to begin with but I was open to the idea as long as I didn&rsquo;t have to give up my career or most of my lifestyle.  Before my son was born, my husband and I had many conversations about this and ultimately decided that he would be the one to step back from his career if and when the time came. Don&rsquo;t get me wrong, I love my son and will love the new baby too but I really have no interest in staying home with my children. She explains that she didn&#39;t see many people during her first pregnancy: I (31F) have a 1.5-year-old son, &ldquo;Connor&rdquo; and I am pregnant with my 2nd, due in Sept. My husband, &ldquo;Adam&rdquo; and I recently announced this pregnancy to our family and a few friends. We moved across the country for my job right before the pandemic so during my first pregnancy I was not around any of my husband&rsquo;s family and friends. Recently, they saw their friends again: On Sunday we got together at a friend&rsquo;s house. Most of these people are friends of my husband who are nice but I&rsquo;m not very close with them. Most of them knew I was pregnant but a few did not including, &ldquo;Amy&rdquo; (30s) who got very quiet when others were Congratulating us. I thanked everyone but just sort of moved on from it. Soon, the conversation turned to pregnancy: Later on, I found myself out on the deck with most of the other wives, including Amy. They started asking me how I was feeling. Then Amy (no kids) started commenting about how wonderful it is to be a mom and be pregnant. I didn&rsquo;t really say much while some of the other mothers agreed.  Amy then turns to me and asked if I disagreed with her. I said that I honestly do not enjoy being pregnant and the baby stage is tough and while I am happy to have another baby I am not really looking forward to taking time off and being stuck at home. They didn&#39;t like that: Some of the other women started to say that I must have PPD bc I &ldquo;don&rsquo;t love&rdquo; my children and that I should take some time off and get into therapy because I &ldquo;won&rsquo;t be any good to my children if I am depressed.&rdquo; I told them not to worry that I was perfectly fine and I didn&rsquo;t need to love pregnancy or the baby stage to be a good parent. I said getting back to work after the baby is born will help. Especially when it came to one of the women: These women were horrified and Amy started crying because she has struggled with infertility and there is no justice since &quot;people like me&quot; get to have 2 kids while she has none. I told her I was sorry about her struggle and I did not mean to offend her but was just speaking honestly about motherhood. People were angry: Well, word got back to my in-laws (one of the guests is my husband&#39;s cousin and wife) and all hell has broken loose. They are horrified that I do not plan to take more than a few weeks off and that I am &quot;forcing my husband&quot; to do most of the childcare. They are now convinced that I have PPD. They also think that saying what I said at the party makes me TA. I feel like I was asked a question and gave an honest answer. She added some details about the division of labor with her husband: my husband is not a SAHD as we have a nanny but he is the one that will have to take time off if/when kids are sick, do homework with them, etc. The people of Reddit say she didn&#39;t do anything wrong, and her friends may or may not be living in the &#39;50s.cleo4568 says: Loving your children and loving being pregnant are two different things!! Don&#39;t listen to them, they are not in your marriage. Do what works for YOUR family. Fleegle2212 agrees: Thank you for helping to normalize your opinion, which many share, but few will admit - for just this reason. UmiiUmiiUmiiUmii says it&#39;s probably best not to be super honest about this stuff with strangers, though: Oh, friend, what did you do... of course you&#39;re NTA, but those topics are TABOO! You cannot be that brand of honest around people not extremely close to you. And even then, you must be careful... Your in-laws are spinning things out of control, it seems. And, aside from that, where does your husband stand on this right NOW? Are you &quot;forcing&quot; him to take care of the new baby? Did he do something to rectify all this nonsense? But Nyx_shadowspan explains it well: My pregnancy was miserable. I had severe SPD and my pelvis felt like it was being cracked open with every step, my hips dislocated whenever I went to stand up, I had horrible hormonal acne worse than I&#39;ve ever had acne in my life and all the doctors I saw for it said the only thing that would make it go away was giving birth, I developed preeclampsia and my swelled up and felt like a bloated hideous beached whale. And I had to be bedridden my entire third trimester. It sucked.   Once I was complaining about how much I hated being pregnant to my brother, and he said I couldn&#39;t really complain because I &quot;wanted this.&quot; No. I wanted my child. Pregnancy and its awfulness was an unfortunate, horrible hurdle I had to overcome to get my child.   You want a child. You don&#39;t enjoy pregnancy and the baby stage and that&#39;s fine. It doesn&#39;t mean you won&#39;t love your baby, you just are excited for when they&#39;re a bit older. They were being incredibly rude to you, and I&#39;m sorry they treated you that way. Real-Donut-197s says: Most of these people seem to be stuck on this bs sexist idea that men can&#39;t be stay-at-home dads. They probably think the man should do all the work while you stay at home cooking cleaning and poppin out babies. Also, it was NOT ok for those people to suggest you don&#39;t love your children. Even if they were suggesting ppd. It&#39;s not ok. And disguised_hashbrown thinks Amy shouldn&#39;t ask questions she doesn&#39;t want answers to: Amy set you up to fail with her question. Not to be horrible, but how would she know how &ldquo;wonderful&rdquo; pregnancy is anyway? Certainly not personal experience. She doesn&rsquo;t need to be asking questions that she doesn&rsquo;t want the answers to. So there you go: it&#39;s okay to complain about crappy health situations!But also, it might be easier to avoid talking about this stuff to people you don&#39;t know that well.

In 2021, are women allowed to say they don&#39;t love being pregnant?  You might think this is a given. But for some people, it&#39;s apparently too triggering to hear that pregnancy isn&#39;t a cakewalk. And one mom is asking whether she...