life

<p>A mom who&#39;s in a tough spot took to the internet to ask for advice, and people are divided.</p><p>The woman, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cnfixf/aita_for_making_my_pregnant_daughter_move_out/">known as notinmyhouse123, asked Reddit</a> if she&#39;d be an a**hole for making her pregnant 17-year-old daughter move out before the baby comes. The daughter is seven weeks pregnant, and the mom has no interest in<a href="https://www.someecards.com/memes-lists-comics/memes/27-memes-for-people-who-dont-want-kids/"> helping raise the baby</a>. Here&#39;s her query in full:</p><blockquote> <p>My 17 yo daughter (youngest and we had her late) is 7 weeks pregnant (she will be 18 by the time she gives birth) She is not in a relationship with the father. He reeaallyyy, I can&#39;t stress this enough, does not want a baby. I honestly don&#39;t even think he&#39;ll show up for the birth or anything.</p> </blockquote><p>Crazy that a teenage boy doesn&#39;t want a baby. She goes on:</p><blockquote> <p>She has decided to continue with the pregnancy against all advice from practically every adult in her life. After she insisted on not only continuing with the pregnancy but raising the baby I asked her how she is going to manage that? This was the jist of the convo:</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Her: I&#39;ll get a job. Me: who&#39;s going to watch baby while you&#39;re at work? Her: I thought you and dad could. Me: absolutely not, I&#39;m not raising another baby.</p> </blockquote><p>She then had to calmly explain to her daughter that raising a baby takes a lot of time (hmmm, sheltered much?) and that it will ruin her retirement and her husband&#39;s.</p><blockquote> <p>Pretty much a back and forth for a bit that lead me to believe that if she has this baby in this house, I&#39;m practically going to be its mother. I&#39;m very recently retired and my husband is retiring in exactly 11 months (there&#39;s a countdown) and this is not how I want to spend my retirement years. It&#39;s not fair to us. So I told her that she has until baby is born to find a place to live.</p> </blockquote><p>Surprise surprise, the daughter seems to be a little spoiled, if not completely clueless:</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Husband has always been wrapped around her finger (which normally is endearing, I love how much he loves our children) so he is not fully on board with that but I feel like we need to be united on this. I just want to know if I&#39;m in the wrong here.</p> </blockquote><p>The mom went on to add, &quot;to everyone acting like I&#39;m spending the next 7 months ignoring her- I will help her get a job, get on assistance if need be, find affordable housing etc. I just will not raise this baby.&quot;</p><p>So what did the internet have to say? A lot.</p><p>One person, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cnfixf/aita_for_making_my_pregnant_daughter_move_out/ew9wyhk/">philosophunc</a>, asked the obvious: have they talked about not going through with the pregnancy?</p><blockquote> <p>Has anyone suggested an abortion? A 17 year old really has no clue at all, absolutely no clue, how much is going to change being a single parent. Lifes gonna fucking suck for her for a long time. Situation sucks.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>And the mom responded, &quot;I&#39;ve asked but she refused so it was never brought up again.&quot; Guess that&#39;s that.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cnfixf/aita_for_making_my_pregnant_daughter_move_out/ewb4ssy/">BooRoWo</a> suggested getting the young dad&#39;s family on board.</p><blockquote> <p>It may be time to bring up the abortion topic again before it&rsquo;s too late. This time though, get the boy or his family on board because he will have to pay child support even if he doesn&rsquo;t want anything to do with the baby.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>If you must, talk to them both about the financial &amp; social implications of having a baby this young. If she still refuses to have an abortion, really push for adoption.</p> </blockquote><p>But many commenters are saying the mom&#39;s not the a**hole for making it clear that she won&#39;t raise the baby.</p><blockquote> <p>she chose to go through this pregnancy and if she is mature enough, in her mind, to be a mom than she is mature enough to figure out her situation.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>I don&rsquo;t mean that you shouldn&rsquo;t help out when you can but to assume that you will be always available for her to watch the child while she works is unreasonable and shows how little she has planned for this. It&rsquo;s definitely a no win situation but I don&rsquo;t think you are being an a**hole for asking her to act like an adult. - <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cnfixf/aita_for_making_my_pregnant_daughter_move_out/ew9x504/">MissKaycie</a></p> </blockquote><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cnfixf/aita_for_making_my_pregnant_daughter_move_out/ewa2sis/">RidleyAteKirby</a> said seven months is enough time for this clearly clueless teen to get on her feet.</p><blockquote> <p>Your daughter is making an adult decision, and it isn&#39;t like you are kicking her out with thirty days to find a way to make it work. She is getting seven months. There comes a point where supporting becomes enabling and I would definitely say that allowing her the pipe dream idea of you playing mommy to her child and her only coming in for the fun bits is definitely enabling.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cnfixf/aita_for_making_my_pregnant_daughter_move_out/ewa1btx/">Evil_Mel </a>agreed that the mom is not the a**hole, saying she&#39;s seen firsthand how become a young grandparent can negatively impact your life.</p><blockquote> <p>I have seen my friend go down this road and she is practically raising her grandson &amp; supporting the parents. It is draining her, emotionally and financially. Your daughter has made her choice to be a parent, which equals being an adult, she will be 18 when the baby is born. Helping her get a job and assistance is all you need to do.</p> </blockquote><p>But <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cnfixf/aita_for_making_my_pregnant_daughter_move_out/ew9wnfp/">likekindofajerk</a> pointed out the decision could destroy her relationship with her daughter:</p><blockquote> <p>I will say that if you do kick her out you will likely ruin the relationship you have with your daughter and she will likely not let you be part of your grandkids life. And if your husband isn&rsquo;t on your side it&rsquo;s possible it could hurt your marriage as well.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>User <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cnfixf/aita_for_making_my_pregnant_daughter_move_out/ewbcwh5/">sptck</a> sang a different tune, calling the mother selfish.</p><blockquote> <p>YTA absolutely. If you&#39;re from the US, I guess that partially explains it LOL. The most egotistical culture there is. Why care for your immature daughter who made a mistake if it inconveniences your retirement? She is 17 ffs. Even if she were 18 she&#39;s still a kid with a kid. I can&#39;t understand how parents can treat their children in such a cold hearted way.</p> </blockquote><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cnfixf/aita_for_making_my_pregnant_daughter_move_out/ewbiwme/">AStrangerWCandy</a> also had sympathy for the daughter.</p><blockquote> <p>Kicking a mother out as soon as she has the baby is a pretty clear cut [a**hole] move considering no mother at any age or maturity level can work immediately after having a kid.</p> </blockquote><p>And <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cnfixf/aita_for_making_my_pregnant_daughter_move_out/ewbd22o/">nightmaretimes3</a> pointed out the daughter doesn&#39;t seem fully equipped for life as it is.</p><blockquote> <p>Maybe an a**hole of a parent. But reasonably defendable on surface level.</p> <p>I wish your daughter had more dedicated parents, it&#39;s not like you didn&#39;t raise her and taught her everything.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>She not understanding something and making mistakes is partly your fault when she isn&#39;t even 18. A newly turned single mom of 18, with a new place of her own, taking her first job, and a history of mistakes and poor choices? Can&#39;t see anything going wrong with that /s.</p> </blockquote><p>And <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cnfixf/aita_for_making_my_pregnant_daughter_move_out/ewbfljg/">Ninjasanta1</a> says the daughter and her baby might never get over the sting of being kicked out.</p><blockquote> <p>Enjoy your troubled relationship with your daughter and granddaughter, 7 months at 17 to move out is really shitty. But I guess your retirement can&#39;t wait a year because oh lawd those RVs might disappear, god forbid your grandchild has a decent home for the most important part of it&#39;s life.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Also that grandchild will hear about how you kicked out it&#39;s mother and trust me, it&#39;ll always linger - your grandparents cared so little for you they wouldn&#39;t even let you stay there as a baby.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>So who&#39;s in the right? Nobody knows.</h2><p>But if that pregnant teen wants to bring the kid to <em>my</em> mom&#39;s house to get her off my back about having kids, she&#39;s more than welcome.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Mom asks if she's wrong to kick pregnant 17 y/o out of the house.

A mom who&#39;s in a tough spot took to the internet to ask for advice, and people are divided.The woman, known as notinmyhouse123, asked Reddit if she&#39;d be an a**hole for making her pregnant 17-year-old daughter move out before the baby comes. The daughter is seven weeks pregnant, and the mom has no interest in helping raise the baby. Here&#39;s her query in full: My 17 yo daughter (youngest and we had her late) is 7 weeks pregnant (she will be 18 by the time she gives birth) She is not in a relationship with the father. He reeaallyyy, I can&#39;t stress this enough, does not want a baby. I honestly don&#39;t even think he&#39;ll show up for the birth or anything. Crazy that a teenage boy doesn&#39;t want a baby. She goes on: She has decided to continue with the pregnancy against all advice from practically every adult in her life. After she insisted on not only continuing with the pregnancy but raising the baby I asked her how she is going to manage that? This was the jist of the convo:  Her: I&#39;ll get a job. Me: who&#39;s going to watch baby while you&#39;re at work? Her: I thought you and dad could. Me: absolutely not, I&#39;m not raising another baby. She then had to calmly explain to her daughter that raising a baby takes a lot of time (hmmm, sheltered much?) and that it will ruin her retirement and her husband&#39;s. Pretty much a back and forth for a bit that lead me to believe that if she has this baby in this house, I&#39;m practically going to be its mother. I&#39;m very recently retired and my husband is retiring in exactly 11 months (there&#39;s a countdown) and this is not how I want to spend my retirement years. It&#39;s not fair to us. So I told her that she has until baby is born to find a place to live. Surprise surprise, the daughter seems to be a little spoiled, if not completely clueless: Husband has always been wrapped around her finger (which normally is endearing, I love how much he loves our children) so he is not fully on board with that but I feel like we need to be united on this. I just want to know if I&#39;m in the wrong here. The mom went on to add, &quot;to everyone acting like I&#39;m spending the next 7 months ignoring her- I will help her get a job, get on assistance if need be, find affordable housing etc. I just will not raise this baby.&quot;So what did the internet have to say? A lot.One person, philosophunc, asked the obvious: have they talked about not going through with the pregnancy? Has anyone suggested an abortion? A 17 year old really has no clue at all, absolutely no clue, how much is going to change being a single parent. Lifes gonna fucking suck for her for a long time. Situation sucks. And the mom responded, &quot;I&#39;ve asked but she refused so it was never brought up again.&quot; Guess that&#39;s that.BooRoWo suggested getting the young dad&#39;s family on board. It may be time to bring up the abortion topic again before it&rsquo;s too late. This time though, get the boy or his family on board because he will have to pay child support even if he doesn&rsquo;t want anything to do with the baby.  If you must, talk to them both about the financial &amp; social implications of having a baby this young. If she still refuses to have an abortion, really push for adoption. But many commenters are saying the mom&#39;s not the a**hole for making it clear that she won&#39;t raise the baby. she chose to go through this pregnancy and if she is mature enough, in her mind, to be a mom than she is mature enough to figure out her situation.  I don&rsquo;t mean that you shouldn&rsquo;t help out when you can but to assume that you will be always available for her to watch the child while she works is unreasonable and shows how little she has planned for this. It&rsquo;s definitely a no win situation but I don&rsquo;t think you are being an a**hole for asking her to act like an adult. - MissKaycie RidleyAteKirby said seven months is enough time for this clearly clueless teen to get on her feet. Your daughter is making an adult decision, and it isn&#39;t like you are kicking her out with thirty days to find a way to make it work. She is getting seven months. There comes a point where supporting becomes enabling and I would definitely say that allowing her the pipe dream idea of you playing mommy to her child and her only coming in for the fun bits is definitely enabling. Evil_Mel agreed that the mom is not the a**hole, saying she&#39;s seen firsthand how become a young grandparent can negatively impact your life. I have seen my friend go down this road and she is practically raising her grandson &amp; supporting the parents. It is draining her, emotionally and financially. Your daughter has made her choice to be a parent, which equals being an adult, she will be 18 when the baby is born. Helping her get a job and assistance is all you need to do. But likekindofajerk pointed out the decision could destroy her relationship with her daughter: I will say that if you do kick her out you will likely ruin the relationship you have with your daughter and she will likely not let you be part of your grandkids life. And if your husband isn&rsquo;t on your side it&rsquo;s possible it could hurt your marriage as well. User sptck sang a different tune, calling the mother selfish. YTA absolutely. If you&#39;re from the US, I guess that partially explains it LOL. The most egotistical culture there is. Why care for your immature daughter who made a mistake if it inconveniences your retirement? She is 17 ffs. Even if she were 18 she&#39;s still a kid with a kid. I can&#39;t understand how parents can treat their children in such a cold hearted way. AStrangerWCandy also had sympathy for the daughter. Kicking a mother out as soon as she has the baby is a pretty clear cut [a**hole] move considering no mother at any age or maturity level can work immediately after having a kid. And nightmaretimes3 pointed out the daughter doesn&#39;t seem fully equipped for life as it is. Maybe an a**hole of a parent. But reasonably defendable on surface level. I wish your daughter had more dedicated parents, it&#39;s not like you didn&#39;t raise her and taught her everything.  She not understanding something and making mistakes is partly your fault when she isn&#39;t even 18. A newly turned single mom of 18, with a new place of her own, taking her first job, and a history of mistakes and poor choices? Can&#39;t see anything going wrong with that /s. And Ninjasanta1 says the daughter and her baby might never get over the sting of being kicked out. Enjoy your troubled relationship with your daughter and granddaughter, 7 months at 17 to move out is really shitty. But I guess your retirement can&#39;t wait a year because oh lawd those RVs might disappear, god forbid your grandchild has a decent home for the most important part of it&#39;s life.  Also that grandchild will hear about how you kicked out it&#39;s mother and trust me, it&#39;ll always linger - your grandparents cared so little for you they wouldn&#39;t even let you stay there as a baby. So who&#39;s in the right? Nobody knows.But if that pregnant teen wants to bring the kid to my mom&#39;s house to get her off my back about having kids, she&#39;s more than welcome.

A mom who&#39;s in a tough spot took to the internet to ask for advice, and people are divided.  The woman, known as notinmyhouse123, asked Reddit if she&#39;d be an a**hole for making her pregnant 17-year-old daughter move out before the...