life

<p>The division of labor between new parents can be tough &mdash; especially when it seems like one parent&#39;s complaining while the <em>other</em> does all the work. </p><p>One mom is asking whether she has a right to ask her husband to stop posting online about how exhausted he is when he&#39;s not actually doing all that much to help. She <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/mwiz41/aita_for_telling_my_husband_he_wasnt_the_one_who/">posted on Reddit </a>asking if she&#39;s the a-hole in the situation.</p><h2>The new mom says it&#39;s been a &quot;struggle&quot;:</h2><blockquote> <p>Me and my husband had our first baby together 3 months ago. We&#39;re overjoyed but like any new parents we&#39;re struggling.</p> <p>My husband recently started posting about how exhausted he is. How having a newborn is exhausting and draining.</p> </blockquote><h2>She&#39;s sick of his over-posting:</h2><blockquote> <p>He posts about everything he does. Talks about the fun/calm times he sacrifices. Sleepless nights but he goes to bed at 10 and wakes up at 9. He tells friends about how demanding it is to be a new parent completely acting like he&#39;s a single dad or something which&#39;s strange because everyone around us noticed how he was acting.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>She doesn&#39;t think he&#39;s doing enough:</h2><blockquote> <p>He does little compared to me. I do most of the hard work from feeding/changing diapers/bathing/while he does simple occasional things like going to the store/cleaning the bathtub/changing the sheets etc. I thought he was just venting. But I had family and friends reaching out asking if my husband&#39;s is okay and why I was making him overwork and not giving him a break. I was berated by my own parents after seeing his posts.</p> </blockquote><h2>She decided to bring it up with him:</h2><blockquote> <p>Yesterday I talked to him about what he&#39;s been doing and how he was exaggerating with his posts about his contribution in both our son&#39;s care and house chores. He said there was nothing wrong with what he was doing. I said actually there was. Told him he&#39;s out there and on social media complaining all the time so much that everyone thinks I&#39;m sleeping 24h doing nothing.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>She says her birth experience was worse than whatever he&#39;s dealing with now:</h2><blockquote> <p>He argued that he wasn&#39;t lying. I said well, he wasn&#39;t the one who went through the difficult birth experience. That I was struggling for 9 months of intense symptoms and my birth was extremely difficult. I&#39;ve never experienced anything more difficult. (I have several medical issues btw) and I&#39;m still recovering. I&#39;m not trying to minimize his struggle but whatever he&#39;s dealing with I&#39;m suffering x10 more than him despite the physical and emotional stress I keep my mouth shut and just get things done.</p> </blockquote><h2>He wasn&#39;t happy:</h2><blockquote> <p>He snapped saying he couldn&#39;t believe I made it all about me and that he&#39;s the right to be able to vent and say whatever he wants whenever he pleases. Wherever he pleases. I asked what&#39;s up with this attitude, I mean he&#39;s always been the &quot;woe is me&quot; type but he&#39;s making me look bad to everyone. And that&#39;s not okay. I asked him please stop or get himself some therapy if he&#39;s feeling overwhelmed</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>He doesn&#39;t want to stop:</h2><blockquote> <p>He looked at me shocked then argued that I needed to stop policing his words and opinions. And trying to tell him what to feel and how to deal with it. He went into the office. Minutes later I saw a new post from him talking about me thinking he&#39;s not doing enough and acting as if me going through labor/birth makes me a better parent than he is. I was...I mean I might have been too harsh but now he&#39;s getting others involved.</p> </blockquote><h2>The people of Reddit agree something&#39;s up with the husband and his posting isn&#39;t okay.</h2><p>Nixie_D says:</p><blockquote> <p>Wait he&#39;s going to bed at 10pm and getting up at 9am? I&#39;m sorry, but WTF?! He&#39;s getting a solid 11 hours sleep a night in a house with a newborn baby, and complaining online about how tiring it is. He needs a reality check yesterday. I don&#39;t even have kids, but I&#39;ve seen enough of my friends with babies to know 11 hours straight of sleep is unheard of.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>They go on:</p><blockquote> <p>If he wants to act like he&#39;s doing all the work online to his/your friends and family, then he needs to be doing it. Otherwise he needs to sit his arse down and zip it. If he won&#39;t, then you need to lay down the law. He doesn&#39;t get to claim to be Superdad if he&#39;s not even pulling half his weight with baby care. Which it certainly doesn&#39;t sound like if he&#39;s sleeping 11 hours straight, seriously how do you even do that as an adult with a job? Especially when you&#39;ve got a newborn at home.</p> </blockquote><p>Current_Can8134 says:</p><blockquote> <p>The petty part of me thinks you should start posting photos of him asleep at 10pm and still asleep at 8am. Respond to his posts saying you can&rsquo;t believe he has time to go on Facebook when he&rsquo;s so busy doing everything.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Also:</p><blockquote> <p>Honestly, He shouldn&rsquo;t be talking shit on Facebook. It also sounds like he&rsquo;s quite happy to diminish your contributions and he doesn&rsquo;t care how other people see you as long as he gets to scrounge for attention.</p> </blockquote><p>RoseTyler38 has an idea:</p><blockquote> <p>Make a big list, of ALL babycare tasks and household tasks. Take turns picking tasks from the list till it&#39;s split up 50/50.</p> </blockquote><p>Mammoth_Ad1374 says:</p><blockquote> <p>Start being petty. If he wants people to know all of your business, make a tally chart. Every time someone changes a diaper, feeds the baby (or pumps milk for later), soothes them when they&rsquo;re crying, etc they get a tally. If they are the ones to wake up with the baby at night, they get two or something. At the end of each day, post it on Facebook.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>peakvincent adds:</p><blockquote> <p>It sounds like you two have really different interpretations of your division of labor, but beyond that entirely, for him to be posting things that invite this level of criticism of you is really inappropriate. Maybe the difficult pregnancy/birth wasn&rsquo;t 100% relevant to the current parenting conversation, but it&rsquo;s concerning that he&rsquo;s more interested in his own feeds than he is in how they make you feel AND the conversations you&rsquo;re having to have because of them. You&rsquo;ve got a social media problem as well as a household/parenting problem, and I&rsquo;m sorry you&rsquo;re dealing with it. Congratulations on the baby and best of luck!</p> </blockquote><h2>So there you go. Not doing your share of the work is bad enough. Posting online that you&#39;re doing it all? Even worse.</h2><p>Hope this mom gets justice.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

New mom asks if she's wrong to tell husband to stop posting about how tired he is.

The division of labor between new parents can be tough &mdash; especially when it seems like one parent&#39;s complaining while the other does all the work. One mom is asking whether she has a right to ask her husband to stop posting online about how exhausted he is when he&#39;s not actually doing all that much to help. She posted on Reddit asking if she&#39;s the a-hole in the situation.The new mom says it&#39;s been a &quot;struggle&quot;: Me and my husband had our first baby together 3 months ago. We&#39;re overjoyed but like any new parents we&#39;re struggling. My husband recently started posting about how exhausted he is. How having a newborn is exhausting and draining. She&#39;s sick of his over-posting: He posts about everything he does. Talks about the fun/calm times he sacrifices. Sleepless nights but he goes to bed at 10 and wakes up at 9. He tells friends about how demanding it is to be a new parent completely acting like he&#39;s a single dad or something which&#39;s strange because everyone around us noticed how he was acting. She doesn&#39;t think he&#39;s doing enough: He does little compared to me. I do most of the hard work from feeding/changing diapers/bathing/while he does simple occasional things like going to the store/cleaning the bathtub/changing the sheets etc. I thought he was just venting. But I had family and friends reaching out asking if my husband&#39;s is okay and why I was making him overwork and not giving him a break. I was berated by my own parents after seeing his posts. She decided to bring it up with him: Yesterday I talked to him about what he&#39;s been doing and how he was exaggerating with his posts about his contribution in both our son&#39;s care and house chores. He said there was nothing wrong with what he was doing. I said actually there was. Told him he&#39;s out there and on social media complaining all the time so much that everyone thinks I&#39;m sleeping 24h doing nothing. She says her birth experience was worse than whatever he&#39;s dealing with now: He argued that he wasn&#39;t lying. I said well, he wasn&#39;t the one who went through the difficult birth experience. That I was struggling for 9 months of intense symptoms and my birth was extremely difficult. I&#39;ve never experienced anything more difficult. (I have several medical issues btw) and I&#39;m still recovering. I&#39;m not trying to minimize his struggle but whatever he&#39;s dealing with I&#39;m suffering x10 more than him despite the physical and emotional stress I keep my mouth shut and just get things done. He wasn&#39;t happy: He snapped saying he couldn&#39;t believe I made it all about me and that he&#39;s the right to be able to vent and say whatever he wants whenever he pleases. Wherever he pleases. I asked what&#39;s up with this attitude, I mean he&#39;s always been the &quot;woe is me&quot; type but he&#39;s making me look bad to everyone. And that&#39;s not okay. I asked him please stop or get himself some therapy if he&#39;s feeling overwhelmed He doesn&#39;t want to stop: He looked at me shocked then argued that I needed to stop policing his words and opinions. And trying to tell him what to feel and how to deal with it. He went into the office. Minutes later I saw a new post from him talking about me thinking he&#39;s not doing enough and acting as if me going through labor/birth makes me a better parent than he is. I was...I mean I might have been too harsh but now he&#39;s getting others involved. The people of Reddit agree something&#39;s up with the husband and his posting isn&#39;t okay.Nixie_D says: Wait he&#39;s going to bed at 10pm and getting up at 9am? I&#39;m sorry, but WTF?! He&#39;s getting a solid 11 hours sleep a night in a house with a newborn baby, and complaining online about how tiring it is. He needs a reality check yesterday. I don&#39;t even have kids, but I&#39;ve seen enough of my friends with babies to know 11 hours straight of sleep is unheard of. They go on: If he wants to act like he&#39;s doing all the work online to his/your friends and family, then he needs to be doing it. Otherwise he needs to sit his arse down and zip it. If he won&#39;t, then you need to lay down the law. He doesn&#39;t get to claim to be Superdad if he&#39;s not even pulling half his weight with baby care. Which it certainly doesn&#39;t sound like if he&#39;s sleeping 11 hours straight, seriously how do you even do that as an adult with a job? Especially when you&#39;ve got a newborn at home. Current_Can8134 says: The petty part of me thinks you should start posting photos of him asleep at 10pm and still asleep at 8am. Respond to his posts saying you can&rsquo;t believe he has time to go on Facebook when he&rsquo;s so busy doing everything. Also: Honestly, He shouldn&rsquo;t be talking shit on Facebook. It also sounds like he&rsquo;s quite happy to diminish your contributions and he doesn&rsquo;t care how other people see you as long as he gets to scrounge for attention. RoseTyler38 has an idea: Make a big list, of ALL babycare tasks and household tasks. Take turns picking tasks from the list till it&#39;s split up 50/50. Mammoth_Ad1374 says: Start being petty. If he wants people to know all of your business, make a tally chart. Every time someone changes a diaper, feeds the baby (or pumps milk for later), soothes them when they&rsquo;re crying, etc they get a tally. If they are the ones to wake up with the baby at night, they get two or something. At the end of each day, post it on Facebook. peakvincent adds: It sounds like you two have really different interpretations of your division of labor, but beyond that entirely, for him to be posting things that invite this level of criticism of you is really inappropriate. Maybe the difficult pregnancy/birth wasn&rsquo;t 100% relevant to the current parenting conversation, but it&rsquo;s concerning that he&rsquo;s more interested in his own feeds than he is in how they make you feel AND the conversations you&rsquo;re having to have because of them. You&rsquo;ve got a social media problem as well as a household/parenting problem, and I&rsquo;m sorry you&rsquo;re dealing with it. Congratulations on the baby and best of luck! So there you go. Not doing your share of the work is bad enough. Posting online that you&#39;re doing it all? Even worse.Hope this mom gets justice.

The division of labor between new parents can be tough &mdash; especially when it seems like one parent&#39;s complaining while the other does all the work.   One mom is asking whether she has a right to ask her husband  to stop posting...

New mom asks if she's wrong to tell husband to stop posting about how tired he is.

The new mom says it's been a "struggle":

She's sick of his over-posting: