life

<p>Did you grow up knowing exactly who your parents were? It&#39;s easy to take that for granted. But for some people, their parents&#39; identity is a bit foggier, thanks to the miracle of sperm (or egg!) donation.</p><p>A <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mq1jil/men_who_have_solddonated_sperm_and_gave/">recent Reddit thread</a> asked people who&#39;ve donated sperm to share their stories about whether or not they knew their kids. A ton of people responded, mostly about being the product of donation. Here are their stories &mdash; with a few of the actual donors thrown in.</p><h2>1. &quot;The man was a weirdo, but in the best way.&quot;</h2><blockquote> <p>my bio-dad donated sperm and gave permission to be identified. Didn&#39;t even have to be after 18. In counting (because we&#39;re not sure if we&#39;ve found all of us yet) there are 53 half-siblings, all his kids. My full sister and I didn&#39;t know we were donor babies until I was a freshman in college, and her a junior in high school. It was a few more years before we found out the scope of our family.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>As such, I never got to meet the man as he passed away in 2018, but I&#39;ve been getting to know my half siblings and I&#39;m sad to have missed him. He apparently engaged in annual reunions and was interested in getting to know all of the kids if they (and their families) were open to it. We all support each other basically by default even though we didn&#39;t grow up together.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>What&#39;s even wilder about him is that he got national news coverage for something besides his giant flock of kids. The guy got married to a woman the day he met her as a competition to be his bride in the Mall of America. It was apparently a heartfelt story and the two of them had a 20 something year marriage with 4 kids that they raised themselves. The Mall of America even has a plaque with his name on it now, so you can go find him if you really try. The man was a weirdo, but in the best way. He was kind and generous with his time and really seemed to care about *all* of his kids, or at least the ones he knew about. - SilverRock75</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>2. Very heart-warming.</h2><blockquote> <p>I was donor conceived, along with my sister (same donor). I had a great dad and never had any desire to find out who my donor was, but I was always curious about siblings, especially when I learned there&#39;s no legal limit on how many children you can father when you donate sperm in the US.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>Well, one 23andMe test later, and the first result on the top of the list is a half sister in Texas. We get in contact, realize we have a TON in common, and it sparked a fire in her to find more siblings. She took an Ancestry DNA test and the top of that list was a man in California, listed as father.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>She got in touch with him right away, turns out he&#39;s a fantastic guy. He was adopted himself and also got in contact with his birth mom as an adult, so he had been on our side of the situation and was very open and willing to talk. His wife has been super supportive of us meeting too. He has three, uh, organically made kids of his own (I was especially ecstatic to learn that I&#39;m a big sister), plus we&#39;ve since found three more half siblings who&#39;ve all been very cool and excited to find each other. At this point, I&#39;ve met all but one of them in person, and I got to meet my biological grandmother too. - racecarart</p> </blockquote><h2>3. An egg donor weighs in.</h2><blockquote> <p>I donated eggs when I was 23. No reason, just thought it might help someone. I had a baby a couple of years before (my son is now turning 14) so I knew my eggs were good. All the harvested eggs (10-12 if I remember correctly) were given to one couple and they did two cycles but unfortunately neither was successful. They did still have more eggs left, but I suppose the treatments are incredibly painful emotionally to go through and they didn&#39;t want to go through with it for a third time.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>I really would&#39;ve loved for them to succeed. I trust that any person willing to go through all that would&#39;ve done absolutely everything to be the best possible parent to a child. I&#39;m rather sad that I was unable to help the couple. If it had been different I would have liked it if the child would&#39;ve reached out. It would be an awesome adventure to get to know them a little. - big-bada-boom</p> </blockquote><h2>4. This donor dad would love to hear from his kids.</h2><blockquote> <p>I donated for six months in university. Twice a week. I gave consent to be contacted. That was close to 20 years ago now.</p> <p>I did call and ask once, my sperm resulted in 24 successful pregnancies. That was all the office could tell me.</p> <p>I have not done 23andme or anything like that. - ciroryder</p> </blockquote><h2>5. Wow!</h2><blockquote> <p>My aunts had to get a donor for both children, and he happened to live in the same neighborhood (can&#39;t remember if that was a coincidence or not). But he is a close family friend now! He comes over for their birthdays and other family events. They don&#39;t refer to him as their dad really, only as a joke, but he is very close with our family. - anniecakes22</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>6. &quot;I think it is eerie how I see many of my mannerisms in him and the other siblings.&quot;</h2><blockquote> <p>I was donor-conceived. I took a DNA test, his natural-born daughter took a DNA test. So really neither of us &#39;gave permission&#39;. There are 28 siblings so far. It was quite a shock. I wasn&#39;t expecting it and didn&#39;t know. I was 38.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>I&#39;ve met the donor and most of the half siblings. He&#39;s a cool guy. I think it is eerie how I see many of my mannerisms in him and the other siblings. I know there is a wide range of emotions for people who experience this sort of thing, but for me it was generally positive. - mynuname</p> </blockquote><h2>7. This person didn&#39;t know they had a flock of nieces and nephews floating around.</h2><blockquote> <p>My younger bro donated multiple times unbeknownst to me. Years later my wife and I did Ancestry.com to get an idea of how diverse our backgrounds were and wham! Started getting contacted by lots of people (over a dozen) saying we were close relatives. At first I was confused and asked the early ones about their parentage - they all had a similar stories. Single mom went to a sperm bank.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>Didn&#39;t take long to guess what happened. Call my brothers and asked. Younger one fessed up and said yes - he went multiple times. In fact they told him he had to stop donating because there was a statistical probability his progeny could meet and date (at least they seemed ethical). I asked if it was okay if I gave them his contact - he was fine with it.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>The weird thing is that they all had his face - like one look at them and it was obvious who their father was. Anyway, this went on for a couple of years and they all connected with each other. Seems there is over 20 now, probably more. He has met a couple of them but it was all casual. The whole thing is super weird to the rest of family to have all these &quot;close&quot; relatives who somehow are part of the family but then again not really. - ezagreb</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>8. How nice!</h2><blockquote> <p>a friend of my father in law, guy is 86 and has been dealing with cancer for decades. He lost the will to live until one day he gets a call from his supposed daughter , he was a donor in the 70s and with ancestry.com they were able to reconnect. They were so sweet and have totally involved him in their lives, he has grandchildren he didn&#39;t know about and and entire family when he thought he would die alone. It&#39;s just a beautiful story I get happy whenever I hear it because he is such a nice man. Funny enough he has been cancer free almost exactly since they connected, they do say attitude is a huge recovery factor - ItsShorsey</p> </blockquote><h2>9. A sperm donor camping trip?!</h2><blockquote> <p>An ex girlfriend of mine has an uncle who had donated sperm back in the 90s. At some point, he started reaching out to the parents of his biological children to see if they wanted to meet their bio dad and now, every summer, he flies out all the children who wanted to be in contact to Yosemite, CA for a week of camping.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>I remember the first, and only, time I went I was shocked to know that at least 10 of his children come every year from all around the USA to spend time with him for a week. Apparently, the year I went with them was also the year that another one of his bio children got in contact with the uncle for the first time and spent the week out near Yosemite with all of her half brothers/sisters.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>I don&#39;t keep in contact with the uncle or my ex anymore, but I can assume that more of his children have contacted him each year so they can spend time getting to know their bio dad. - FayzorCA</p> </blockquote><h2>10. Not everyone finds the answers.</h2><blockquote> <p>I&#39;m a child born via sperm donation. At one point in my life I did tons of research to find him- I also did Ancestry and found some half siblings but no donor. But I thought about it more and looked over the records I did have (from the donor company). He was a college student at the time and asked not to be contacted. He probably has a family now who may or may not know about his past donation, and my gut feeling is that he did it for the money. So I&#39;ve decided to let it go. - SunnySilver8</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>11. This donor child wants to find their dad.</h2><blockquote> <p>I&#39;m a donor child but the man didn&#39;t give permission for me to get in touch. I&#39;ve always been a bit curious particularly as we now do the same job, but more about any family history of disease which might be relevant (although I assume nothing major or he wouldn&#39;t have been able to donate). I think I would have reached out when I was 19/20 but I wouldn&#39;t any more if I had the choice.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>I call the donor my &quot;father&quot; but my dad will always be the one who raised me and played with me and loved me even though he died when I was young. He&#39;s the one that matters, but I am grateful to those who donate enabling my family to have a child without a genetic illness. - fhnev94</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>12. They even had the same $2 bill.</h2><blockquote> <p>I met my biological father when I was 25 after never meeting or seeing him my whole life. The little things were so weird. We sat in a chair the same way We nervously bit the skin next to our finger nails at the same time. The first drink I ever ordered was a white Russian because I thought it was interesting. Low and behold when we met he and his family bring white Russians to the lake because it&#39;s their favorite drink. I&#39;ve kept a 2 dollar bill in my wallet since I was 14 for no reason at all. After we talked. He has had a 2 dollar bill in his wallet since he was a kid too. Just really weird things coincidences. - kazumarukawaba</p> </blockquote><h2>13. &quot;I saw my face staring back at me.&quot;</h2><blockquote> <p>I learned in my 30&rsquo;s my brother and I were sperm donor conceived via the same donor. Before I even met him, seeing his Facebook pictures blew my mind. I&rsquo;d never really resembled anyone in my family who raised me, my brother looks like my mother, and figured I must take after older ancestors. When I found my biological father&rsquo;s profile, I saw my face staring back at me. When I met him I learned he shares some of the same hobbies as us that were never explored with our social family. - Bobcatluv</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

13 people whose dads were sperm donors share what it was like to finally meet them.

Did you grow up knowing exactly who your parents were? It&#39;s easy to take that for granted. But for some people, their parents&#39; identity is a bit foggier, thanks to the miracle of sperm (or egg!) donation.A recent Reddit thread asked people who&#39;ve donated sperm to share their stories about whether or not they knew their kids. A ton of people responded, mostly about being the product of donation. Here are their stories &mdash; with a few of the actual donors thrown in.1. &quot;The man was a weirdo, but in the best way.&quot; my bio-dad donated sperm and gave permission to be identified. Didn&#39;t even have to be after 18. In counting (because we&#39;re not sure if we&#39;ve found all of us yet) there are 53 half-siblings, all his kids. My full sister and I didn&#39;t know we were donor babies until I was a freshman in college, and her a junior in high school. It was a few more years before we found out the scope of our family.   As such, I never got to meet the man as he passed away in 2018, but I&#39;ve been getting to know my half siblings and I&#39;m sad to have missed him. He apparently engaged in annual reunions and was interested in getting to know all of the kids if they (and their families) were open to it. We all support each other basically by default even though we didn&#39;t grow up together.   What&#39;s even wilder about him is that he got national news coverage for something besides his giant flock of kids. The guy got married to a woman the day he met her as a competition to be his bride in the Mall of America. It was apparently a heartfelt story and the two of them had a 20 something year marriage with 4 kids that they raised themselves. The Mall of America even has a plaque with his name on it now, so you can go find him if you really try. The man was a weirdo, but in the best way. He was kind and generous with his time and really seemed to care about *all* of his kids, or at least the ones he knew about. - SilverRock75 2. Very heart-warming. I was donor conceived, along with my sister (same donor). I had a great dad and never had any desire to find out who my donor was, but I was always curious about siblings, especially when I learned there&#39;s no legal limit on how many children you can father when you donate sperm in the US.   Well, one 23andMe test later, and the first result on the top of the list is a half sister in Texas. We get in contact, realize we have a TON in common, and it sparked a fire in her to find more siblings. She took an Ancestry DNA test and the top of that list was a man in California, listed as father.   She got in touch with him right away, turns out he&#39;s a fantastic guy. He was adopted himself and also got in contact with his birth mom as an adult, so he had been on our side of the situation and was very open and willing to talk. His wife has been super supportive of us meeting too. He has three, uh, organically made kids of his own (I was especially ecstatic to learn that I&#39;m a big sister), plus we&#39;ve since found three more half siblings who&#39;ve all been very cool and excited to find each other. At this point, I&#39;ve met all but one of them in person, and I got to meet my biological grandmother too. - racecarart 3. An egg donor weighs in. I donated eggs when I was 23. No reason, just thought it might help someone. I had a baby a couple of years before (my son is now turning 14) so I knew my eggs were good. All the harvested eggs (10-12 if I remember correctly) were given to one couple and they did two cycles but unfortunately neither was successful. They did still have more eggs left, but I suppose the treatments are incredibly painful emotionally to go through and they didn&#39;t want to go through with it for a third time.   I really would&#39;ve loved for them to succeed. I trust that any person willing to go through all that would&#39;ve done absolutely everything to be the best possible parent to a child. I&#39;m rather sad that I was unable to help the couple. If it had been different I would have liked it if the child would&#39;ve reached out. It would be an awesome adventure to get to know them a little. - big-bada-boom 4. This donor dad would love to hear from his kids. I donated for six months in university. Twice a week. I gave consent to be contacted. That was close to 20 years ago now. I did call and ask once, my sperm resulted in 24 successful pregnancies. That was all the office could tell me. I have not done 23andme or anything like that. - ciroryder 5. Wow! My aunts had to get a donor for both children, and he happened to live in the same neighborhood (can&#39;t remember if that was a coincidence or not). But he is a close family friend now! He comes over for their birthdays and other family events. They don&#39;t refer to him as their dad really, only as a joke, but he is very close with our family. - anniecakes22 6. &quot;I think it is eerie how I see many of my mannerisms in him and the other siblings.&quot; I was donor-conceived. I took a DNA test, his natural-born daughter took a DNA test. So really neither of us &#39;gave permission&#39;. There are 28 siblings so far. It was quite a shock. I wasn&#39;t expecting it and didn&#39;t know. I was 38.   I&#39;ve met the donor and most of the half siblings. He&#39;s a cool guy. I think it is eerie how I see many of my mannerisms in him and the other siblings. I know there is a wide range of emotions for people who experience this sort of thing, but for me it was generally positive. - mynuname 7. This person didn&#39;t know they had a flock of nieces and nephews floating around. My younger bro donated multiple times unbeknownst to me. Years later my wife and I did Ancestry.com to get an idea of how diverse our backgrounds were and wham! Started getting contacted by lots of people (over a dozen) saying we were close relatives. At first I was confused and asked the early ones about their parentage - they all had a similar stories. Single mom went to a sperm bank.   Didn&#39;t take long to guess what happened. Call my brothers and asked. Younger one fessed up and said yes - he went multiple times. In fact they told him he had to stop donating because there was a statistical probability his progeny could meet and date (at least they seemed ethical). I asked if it was okay if I gave them his contact - he was fine with it.   The weird thing is that they all had his face - like one look at them and it was obvious who their father was. Anyway, this went on for a couple of years and they all connected with each other. Seems there is over 20 now, probably more. He has met a couple of them but it was all casual. The whole thing is super weird to the rest of family to have all these &quot;close&quot; relatives who somehow are part of the family but then again not really. - ezagreb 8. How nice! a friend of my father in law, guy is 86 and has been dealing with cancer for decades. He lost the will to live until one day he gets a call from his supposed daughter , he was a donor in the 70s and with ancestry.com they were able to reconnect. They were so sweet and have totally involved him in their lives, he has grandchildren he didn&#39;t know about and and entire family when he thought he would die alone. It&#39;s just a beautiful story I get happy whenever I hear it because he is such a nice man. Funny enough he has been cancer free almost exactly since they connected, they do say attitude is a huge recovery factor - ItsShorsey 9. A sperm donor camping trip?! An ex girlfriend of mine has an uncle who had donated sperm back in the 90s. At some point, he started reaching out to the parents of his biological children to see if they wanted to meet their bio dad and now, every summer, he flies out all the children who wanted to be in contact to Yosemite, CA for a week of camping.   I remember the first, and only, time I went I was shocked to know that at least 10 of his children come every year from all around the USA to spend time with him for a week. Apparently, the year I went with them was also the year that another one of his bio children got in contact with the uncle for the first time and spent the week out near Yosemite with all of her half brothers/sisters.   I don&#39;t keep in contact with the uncle or my ex anymore, but I can assume that more of his children have contacted him each year so they can spend time getting to know their bio dad. - FayzorCA 10. Not everyone finds the answers. I&#39;m a child born via sperm donation. At one point in my life I did tons of research to find him- I also did Ancestry and found some half siblings but no donor. But I thought about it more and looked over the records I did have (from the donor company). He was a college student at the time and asked not to be contacted. He probably has a family now who may or may not know about his past donation, and my gut feeling is that he did it for the money. So I&#39;ve decided to let it go. - SunnySilver8 11. This donor child wants to find their dad. I&#39;m a donor child but the man didn&#39;t give permission for me to get in touch. I&#39;ve always been a bit curious particularly as we now do the same job, but more about any family history of disease which might be relevant (although I assume nothing major or he wouldn&#39;t have been able to donate). I think I would have reached out when I was 19/20 but I wouldn&#39;t any more if I had the choice.   I call the donor my &quot;father&quot; but my dad will always be the one who raised me and played with me and loved me even though he died when I was young. He&#39;s the one that matters, but I am grateful to those who donate enabling my family to have a child without a genetic illness. - fhnev94 12. They even had the same $2 bill. I met my biological father when I was 25 after never meeting or seeing him my whole life. The little things were so weird. We sat in a chair the same way We nervously bit the skin next to our finger nails at the same time. The first drink I ever ordered was a white Russian because I thought it was interesting. Low and behold when we met he and his family bring white Russians to the lake because it&#39;s their favorite drink. I&#39;ve kept a 2 dollar bill in my wallet since I was 14 for no reason at all. After we talked. He has had a 2 dollar bill in his wallet since he was a kid too. Just really weird things coincidences. - kazumarukawaba 13. &quot;I saw my face staring back at me.&quot; I learned in my 30&rsquo;s my brother and I were sperm donor conceived via the same donor. Before I even met him, seeing his Facebook pictures blew my mind. I&rsquo;d never really resembled anyone in my family who raised me, my brother looks like my mother, and figured I must take after older ancestors. When I found my biological father&rsquo;s profile, I saw my face staring back at me. When I met him I learned he shares some of the same hobbies as us that were never explored with our social family. - Bobcatluv 

Did you grow up knowing exactly who your parents were? It&#39;s easy to take that for granted. But for some people, their parents&#39; identity is a bit foggier, thanks to the miracle of sperm (or egg!) donation.  A recent Reddit thread...