life

<p><a href="https://www.someecards.com/news/news/anne-hathaway-pregnant-second-child-shouted-out-fertility/" target="_blank">Talking about fertility</a> is a minefield at the best of times. But when one member of a family member is pregnant and the rest all had trouble conceiving, it&#39;s pretty much a given that someone&#39;s going to get their feelings hurt.</p><p>A Reddit user going by the name <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cq3qzs/aita_for_losing_my_temper_on_multiple_judgemental/" target="_blank">toooldforthissta</a> posted about such a situation on the subreddit 'Am I the A**hole?', a glorious subsection of the internet where people are judged for their potential a**hole behavior by a jury of their online peers.</p><p>The Redditor in question is a pregnant woman. She was adopted, and pretty much everyone in her extended adoptive family was unable to conceive. Right now, she&#39;s in her second trimester, and she says she&#39;s the first woman in two generations of her family to have a pregnancy in living memory.</p><p>The drama comes from her natural urge to vent about the insanely stressful side effects from pregnancy &mdash; and her family&#39;s unwillingness to listen to her complain, after years and years of their own infertility.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>The family accused her of 'milking' her pregnancy, and she had enough and exploded on them:</p><blockquote> <p>Naturally, I try to be sensitive but apparently I&#39;m 'milking' it by complaining of my various (normal) illnesses and problems. They say that I&#39;m making it up and that it&#39;s not that bad. After months of this from everyone, I ended up blowing up at a family dinner and asking a room full of barren women how the hell they would know how bad I was feeling and WHAT pregnancy even feels like. Multiple people started crying and my husband took me home. I feel bad but honestly they need to take a class on it or at least get off my back.</p> </blockquote><p>So her question to the people of Reddit is: am I the a**hole?</p><p>It seems no one can agree.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>User <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cq3qzs/aita_for_losing_my_temper_on_multiple_judgemental/ewtqm21/" target="_blank">jlb0474</a> voted that 'everyone sucks here,' saying:</p><blockquote> <p>This is a touchy subject for them, so saying what you did was definitely an asshole move. However, they should be more considerate when it comes to what you are going through.</p> </blockquote><p>A user named <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cq3qzs/aita_for_losing_my_temper_on_multiple_judgemental/ewtrfuh/" target="_blank">FlashZap90</a> agreed:</p><blockquote> <p>You&#39;re not wrong, pregnancy is hard and your feelings are vaild. They don&#39;t have any idea what you&#39;re going through so they shouldn&#39;t tell you how to feel about it or try to judge you for how you&#39;re handling it. You&#39;re an asshole for that shot below the belt though. You&#39;re fortunately never going to know what it must feel like to never know what it&#39;s like to carry a child, and I&#39;m certain that stung bad when you brought up their infertility because they&#39;re probably jealous to a degree. I think that everyone involved needs to have some empathy and not make such hurtful remarks.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cq3qzs/aita_for_losing_my_temper_on_multiple_judgemental/ewufddq/" target="_blank">PuddleOfHamster</a> came through with some great advice:</p><blockquote> <p>They should definitely be honest with themselves about their psychological issues surrounding pregnancy, and do their best to support you, and tell you candidly if there are any things they can&#39;t participate in because it&#39;s just too hard (baby showers can be especially brutal, for instance). And they should know that life isn&#39;t the Suffering Olympics, and that even when having a baby is wonderful and joyous, throwing up/dizziness/pelvic girdle pain is just genuinely, mundanely miserable.</p> <p>But they&#39;re not here and you&#39;re the one asking, so... yep. You could have said something like 'Guys, I&#39;m sorry if it&#39;s hard for you to watch me complaining about all these symptoms you never got to experience. Just because I&#39;m miserable right now doesn&#39;t mean I&#39;m not grateful for the opportunity to carry a baby; but I really am suffering physically and I do need some help. Are you able to give it to me?' But instead you went for the lowest blow there was.</p> <p>You need to apologise, explain and COMMUNICATE.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cq3qzs/aita_for_losing_my_temper_on_multiple_judgemental/ewtvldm/" target="_blank">AlfredPitchrock</a> gave the pregnant woman the benefit of the doubt, saying the family members sucked more:</p><blockquote> <p>I think 'blowing up'/yelling is completely justifiable and not in the wrong, given the context, and definitely doesn&#39;t constitute as reasoning for ESH. Did she need to yell and/or blow up to get her point across? No. But I don&#39;t think that&#39;s enough reason to throw her in a pool where she sucks, with the rest of the women.</p> </blockquote><p>A user named <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cq3qzs/aita_for_losing_my_temper_on_multiple_judgemental/ewtr5zk/" target="_blank">overpregnant</a> agreed:</p><blockquote> <p>Pregnancy can be straight up BRUTAL and to be told you&rsquo;re milking it (which would have been only cool if pun intended) or making it up is unacceptable.</p> <p>Yes, you may have been harsh but it sounded like they were projecting their resentments onto you experiences</p> </blockquote><p>Meanwhile, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cq3qzs/aita_for_losing_my_temper_on_multiple_judgemental/ewuives/" target="_blank">elliebanana</a> thinks the pregnant redditor should have taken her complaints elsewhere &mdash; like, anywhere besides her infertile family&#39;s dinner table:</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>While they arent actually experiencing her symptoms and dont know how hard it might be, I&#39;m sure they would happily put up with anything shes going through to get to carry a child. They are family, but wrong people to complain to</p> </blockquote><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cq3qzs/aita_for_losing_my_temper_on_multiple_judgemental/ewttypq/" target="_blank">808Q</a> also blames the pregnant lady.</p><blockquote> <p>It&#39;s a sensitive subject and you know it. You feel like you 'should' be able to complain about 'normal' pregnancy things, but why would you want to say anything to hurt your family members&#39; feelings? It&#39;s not 'fair' but you should just keep these things to yourself since you know how affects them. This has apparently been going on for a while now...just keep the details to yourself.</p> </blockquote><p>So in the court of public opinion, this one&#39;s pretty divided. The only thing we can all agree on is that Thanksgiving&#39;s gonna be pretty uncomfy for this particular fam.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Pregnant woman yells at infertile relatives who accused her of 'making up' aches and pains.

Molly Mulshine

Talking about fertility is a minefield at the best of times. But when one member of a family member is pregnant and the rest all had trouble conceiving, it&#39;s pretty much a given that someone&#39;s going to get their feelings hurt.A Reddit user going by the name toooldforthissta posted about such a situation on the subreddit 'Am I the A**hole?', a glorious subsection of the internet where people are judged for their potential a**hole behavior by a jury of their online peers.The Redditor in question is a pregnant woman. She was adopted, and pretty much everyone in her extended adoptive family was unable to conceive. Right now, she&#39;s in her second trimester, and she says she&#39;s the first woman in two generations of her family to have a pregnancy in living memory.The drama comes from her natural urge to vent about the insanely stressful side effects from pregnancy &mdash; and her family&#39;s unwillingness to listen to her complain, after years and years of their own infertility.The family accused her of 'milking' her pregnancy, and she had enough and exploded on them: Naturally, I try to be sensitive but apparently I&#39;m 'milking' it by complaining of my various (normal) illnesses and problems. They say that I&#39;m making it up and that it&#39;s not that bad. After months of this from everyone, I ended up blowing up at a family dinner and asking a room full of barren women how the hell they would know how bad I was feeling and WHAT pregnancy even feels like. Multiple people started crying and my husband took me home. I feel bad but honestly they need to take a class on it or at least get off my back. So her question to the people of Reddit is: am I the a**hole?It seems no one can agree.User jlb0474 voted that 'everyone sucks here,' saying: This is a touchy subject for them, so saying what you did was definitely an asshole move. However, they should be more considerate when it comes to what you are going through. A user named FlashZap90 agreed: You&#39;re not wrong, pregnancy is hard and your feelings are vaild. They don&#39;t have any idea what you&#39;re going through so they shouldn&#39;t tell you how to feel about it or try to judge you for how you&#39;re handling it. You&#39;re an asshole for that shot below the belt though. You&#39;re fortunately never going to know what it must feel like to never know what it&#39;s like to carry a child, and I&#39;m certain that stung bad when you brought up their infertility because they&#39;re probably jealous to a degree. I think that everyone involved needs to have some empathy and not make such hurtful remarks. PuddleOfHamster came through with some great advice: They should definitely be honest with themselves about their psychological issues surrounding pregnancy, and do their best to support you, and tell you candidly if there are any things they can&#39;t participate in because it&#39;s just too hard (baby showers can be especially brutal, for instance). And they should know that life isn&#39;t the Suffering Olympics, and that even when having a baby is wonderful and joyous, throwing up/dizziness/pelvic girdle pain is just genuinely, mundanely miserable. But they&#39;re not here and you&#39;re the one asking, so... yep. You could have said something like 'Guys, I&#39;m sorry if it&#39;s hard for you to watch me complaining about all these symptoms you never got to experience. Just because I&#39;m miserable right now doesn&#39;t mean I&#39;m not grateful for the opportunity to carry a baby; but I really am suffering physically and I do need some help. Are you able to give it to me?' But instead you went for the lowest blow there was. You need to apologise, explain and COMMUNICATE. AlfredPitchrock gave the pregnant woman the benefit of the doubt, saying the family members sucked more: I think 'blowing up'/yelling is completely justifiable and not in the wrong, given the context, and definitely doesn&#39;t constitute as reasoning for ESH. Did she need to yell and/or blow up to get her point across? No. But I don&#39;t think that&#39;s enough reason to throw her in a pool where she sucks, with the rest of the women. A user named overpregnant agreed: Pregnancy can be straight up BRUTAL and to be told you&rsquo;re milking it (which would have been only cool if pun intended) or making it up is unacceptable. Yes, you may have been harsh but it sounded like they were projecting their resentments onto you experiences Meanwhile, elliebanana thinks the pregnant redditor should have taken her complaints elsewhere &mdash; like, anywhere besides her infertile family&#39;s dinner table: While they arent actually experiencing her symptoms and dont know how hard it might be, I&#39;m sure they would happily put up with anything shes going through to get to carry a child. They are family, but wrong people to complain to 808Q also blames the pregnant lady. It&#39;s a sensitive subject and you know it. You feel like you 'should' be able to complain about 'normal' pregnancy things, but why would you want to say anything to hurt your family members&#39; feelings? It&#39;s not 'fair' but you should just keep these things to yourself since you know how affects them. This has apparently been going on for a while now...just keep the details to yourself. So in the court of public opinion, this one&#39;s pretty divided. The only thing we can all agree on is that Thanksgiving&#39;s gonna be pretty uncomfy for this particular fam.

Talking about fertility is a minefield at the best of times. But when one member of a family member is pregnant and the rest all had trouble conceiving, it&#39;s pretty much a given that someone&#39;s going to get their feelings hurt.  A...