13 people share the 'harmless' things their parents did that messed them up for life.

There's probably not a person on earth who gets out of childhood and adolescence unscathed. Sometimes, even the parenting practices that seem totally harmless can leave a lasting impact — and not in a good way.A Reddit user asked people to share the "seemingly harmless parenting mistake[s] that will majorly f*** up a child later in life." Mentioning everything from forced extra-curricular activities to subtle digs, here are the top responses.1. No one likes to have their romantic choices mocked. Don't make fun of their romantic relationships, it just leads to them hiding it from you and boom. your son got married 14 years ago and you only found out last week. - TheSoviet_Union 2. Because in most cultures, picking a partner is no longer a joint parent-child activity. Also, don't respond to every crush/date/etc. with an immediate, "oh, are you sure you like that person? Don't you think they're a little too *insert negative adjective here*?" Once I became an adult, my mom asked why I never talked to her about my romantic life anymore, and I was like . . . "because you instantly dismiss every prospect? Every time?" But she hadn't even noticed herself doing it. Basically, be careful about criticizing your kids' relationships, unless you think actual abuse is going on. - ZhenyaKon 3. Over-protectiveness can result in lifelong anxiety. Being overprotective is a big one. Kids take their cues about what is and isn't dangerous from their parents reactions to people and situations. Think about that video about a mama bear and her cubs and how the cubs are so attentive to their mom's alarm at some intruder. That's a reaction genetically-selected for. If you as a parent get triggered at small things or situations in front of your kids that's what they'll learn to fear on a deep primordial level. - LegalEye1 4. And it's funny how many parents fail to realize that the traits they dislike in their kids are a direct result of their parenting strategies. This is a big one. I wasn't allowed to go outside on my own in the neighborhood as a kid, as I was told I would be kidnaped. I wasn't allowed to go and hang out with friends, as my mom didn't know their parents well and would instill fear into me that something bad would happen. I was sheltered from everything and was told to fear everything - it was all to keep me "safe," but now I have extreme paranoia that prevents me from functioning normally. It likely wasn't my mom's fault entirely, but it helped to encourage and speed up whatever genetic influence I likely already had. - zero_vii 5. Just because they're your kid doesn't mean their stories are yours to tell. Telling embarrassing stories about your kid/kids when guests are around thinking it is cute. It makes kids want to spend less and less time with you so you can have less stories to tell. - AgeOfWomen 6. Helicopter-parenting is a great way to ensure your kids can't fend for themselves. Taking charge of everything that matters. If you don't have a say as a kid you will get used to not having to think about things, and that lack of presence of mind will come back to haunt them. To parents: Make sure your kids know about the plans you have, and include them in the discussion when there are options. If you don't train your kid to think for themselves, they will have a much harder time doing so when they are on their own. The more involved you can get your kid, the more prepared they will be when you aren't around. - mikk0384 7. Badgering your kid about their weight is never a good look. My mom called me fat so many times as a child. At first ( for 2 decades) I felt awful and got fatter and fatter. Then I realized that it was entirely her fault that I was fat in the first place and did research on nutrition. I lost 70 pounds and look great - Purplep0tamus_wings 8. And this is why so many "gifted and talented" kids don't get far. Calling your child naturally smart and bright rather then rewarding them for working hard. Might not seem like a big deal however kids can adapt an external locus of control. This can lead to poor motivation as they feel they have little control over their lives . - 12noodle12 9. It should go without saying, but intertwining love with violence isn't the best idea. Yelling and throwing things at your kids and then turning around and telling them you love them from the bottom of your soul. This creates an unhealthy picture of what love is and really damaged me as a kid and now my youngest sister who lives at home confessed to me she doesn't want to ever date because she doesn't know how to actually love someone or how to be loved based on our moms way of showing it. - curlyq0131 10. This one is so weird yet common. Let kids do the sports they want! Our biggest mistake was telling our first child he couldn't quit soccer. We said because he had joined, he must finish the season but doesn't have to join next year. What we unintentionally did was made him highly unlikely to try new things, because he didn't want us to force him to continue. Our next kids we softened and encouraged them to continue pointing out how on the way home they always said they had a good time. But it was their choice to continue or not. They are not afraid to try new things and rarely quit, but when they do, they do it with confidence and move on. - cisco54 11. Talking smack about your kids while they're within earshot is also not the best plan. When you talk about your children, assume they are always listening. At every age and distance. Praise them to your friends and family. I’ve heard simple things like “she’s such a picky eater” sort of perpetuate themselves because a mothers voice is part of a child’s identity. If you talk instead about “she ate her green beans so nicely last night, she’s getting to have such healthy eating habits” that child can identify as a “picky eater” or a “healthy eater” just from hearing their mother talk about them to other people. It’s such an easy way to encourage the behaviors that you want to see instead of perpetuating unwanted behaviors. - MsAlyssa 12. Maybe don't share it with your kid when your bank account hits overdraft. For the love of god, dont talk about money issues with your kids. Your child should never have to worry about whether or not they will have a home next month. - Ruoff_Cut 13. Not listening when your kid's in physical pain? Yikes. Not listening to their complaints, especially medical. Had intense pain in my hips that my mother refused to take me to a doctor for, turned out I had hip dysplasia so bad it tore into my hip cartilage and i needed surgery. She still plays it off as me being "brave" - kathy_re