life

<p>There are plenty of controlling mothers-in-law in the world, but this takes things to another level.</p><p>A woman felt forced to dump her fianc&eacute; and cancel her entire wedding after she found out that her soon-to-be-mother-in-law was pulling the strings from afar.</p><p>Now, months later, she&#39;s asking the people of the internet if she&#39;d be justified in talking to the MIL one last time, just to ream her out for her nosiness and narcissism.</p><h2>First: the backstory. How did she find out MIL was controlling things? Through a printed-out email, of all things.</h2><p>The erstwhile bride was arguing with her fianc&eacute; about the upcoming ceremony when something about the fight seemed... off:</p><blockquote> <p>The absolute final straw came when fiance and I had a huge fight about wedding plans and the words he was saying just weren&#39;t &quot;his&quot; if that makes sense but the fight ended with him getting his way because I was just so exhausted. A few days later I found an email printed in the recycling bin written by his mom that was essentially a bullet point list of talking points he&#39;d used in the fight.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>She dumped him right away and cut contact with him and his fam.</h2><p>This wasn&#39;t the first time he&#39;d been too easily influenced by his mom: mother and son also <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ax1fso/aita_for_not_wanting_to_recreate_my_fianc%C3%A9s/">sprung a motorcycle on her</a> and tried forcing her to recreate the fianc&eacute;&#39;s parents&#39; biker honeymoon, without consulting her first.</p><p>So after dumping him she had a rebound summer, as one does:</p><blockquote> <p>I had an amazing summer, partied, got laid, ate what would have been my wedding cake off the bodies of my friends on a pontoon boat on lake havasu. I did my best to put it behind me.</p> </blockquote><h2>But now the originally planned wedding date has passed and the mom is blowing up her inbox.</h2><blockquote> <p>Well with the date having passed his mom has been emailing me things like &quot;just so sad to see this date pass and Alex be so sad.&quot; And &quot;if only we knew what was so wrong that you won&#39;t even talk to him&quot; and my favorite &quot;I&#39;d be happy to be a mediator between you two.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>To make matters worse, the mom has a built-in excuse for why no one is ever allowed to contradict her:</h2><blockquote> <p>His mom is obviously the &quot;alpha-male&quot; in the family but she has severe physical and emotional problems and had a legit heart attack when ex-Fiance&#39;s sister told her off. But ex-MIL uses this to have one sided fights which I feel she is doing now.</p> </blockquote><h2>But the woman wants to call and give her an earful about what a POS she is:</h2><blockquote> <p>I don&#39;t feel it&#39;s fair that she gets to send me message after message passive-aggressively assigning blame to me. I want to call her and explain to her all that SHE did wrong.</p> </blockquote><h2>Her question: would she be an a-hole if she did this?</h2><p>Opinions are mixed as far as whether it&#39;s a good idea to make the phone call. But everyone seems to agree that she dodged a bullet and the fianc&eacute;&#39;s mom is a narcissistic a-hole.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cu3mcp/wibta_if_i_call_my_exsoontobemotherinlaw_and_tell/exqwegy/">Androgenenosis</a> says calling the mom would only cause more drama:</p><blockquote> <p>YTA [you&#39;re the a-hole], but not to her or your ex, but to yourself. Don&#39;t dredge this up again, OP. It&#39;s not healthy. You&#39;ve put in the work to get past this, so don&#39;t go undoing it by rehashing old wounds. She&#39;s an insufferable woman and all that matters is that you know that. Block her email and any texts/calls. Put this to bed.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cu3mcp/wibta_if_i_call_my_exsoontobemotherinlaw_and_tell/exrn62t/">Fightthehoapower</a> agrees &mdash; as anyone who&#39;s dealt with a manipulative controlling narcissist will tell you, telling them off rarely goes your way:</p><blockquote> <p>In a fantasy world, you tell her off and some part of the truth settles in her strange brain. Maybe she snaps back into some kind of cogent trance for a moment - like when Frank the Tank perfectly responds to James Carville in the debate scene of Old School - and acknowledges the error of her ways and what a shitty person she is, and then maybe you high five a million angels.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>But this is reality. She&#39;s the woman who thinks she can mediate your broken relationship with her co-dependent son back together. Nothing you could ever say could reach her, and no response you could ever receive would be satisfying.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Spending time thinking about this is time you aren&#39;t using to live your life away from these terrible people. You&#39;re free. Go do some fun, free as a bird type stuff to celebrate. Or get a good workout and massage. Either way, focus on you, and forget about those jackwagons.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>As does <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cu3mcp/wibta_if_i_call_my_exsoontobemotherinlaw_and_tell/exs0b47/">Throw_This_Away_4_Me</a>:</p><blockquote> <p>I only want to add that I&#39;m pretty sure your ex-MIL is baiting you. If you do tell her off, all it does is give her the ammunition she needs to paint you as a horrible person. She will be able to tell her son a list a reasons why he is better off without you. More importantly, you will give her all the reasons she needs to get the heat off of her. Alex is probably very upset with her and she doesn&#39;t like it.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>You email her, leave a voice message - even if you call her, she&#39;ll probably record it - you give her an out and all the ammunition she needs to take the target off of her and onto you. Most importantly, Alex is learning a very painful lesson that he desperately needs to learn. If she is able to make you out as the villain, his lesson stops.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Others, like <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cu3mcp/wibta_if_i_call_my_exsoontobemotherinlaw_and_tell/exqwb9s/">SsailorScout</a>, suggested writing it out:</p><blockquote> <p>closure is important. And you have a lot of things on your chest to say. It may start another argument but oh well. Write it out and when you think you&rsquo;ve covered everything, send it. Then block everyone and live your best life.</p> </blockquote><h2>Whatever she decides, a swift blocking of all numbers and email addresses is certainly in order. Enjoy the rest of your hot girl summer, OP.</h2><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Woman asks if she was wrong to call off wedding over controlling MIL.

There are plenty of controlling mothers-in-law in the world, but this takes things to another level.A woman felt forced to dump her fianc&eacute; and cancel her entire wedding after she found out that her soon-to-be-mother-in-law was pulling the strings from afar.Now, months later, she&#39;s asking the people of the internet if she&#39;d be justified in talking to the MIL one last time, just to ream her out for her nosiness and narcissism.First: the backstory. How did she find out MIL was controlling things? Through a printed-out email, of all things.The erstwhile bride was arguing with her fianc&eacute; about the upcoming ceremony when something about the fight seemed... off: The absolute final straw came when fiance and I had a huge fight about wedding plans and the words he was saying just weren&#39;t &quot;his&quot; if that makes sense but the fight ended with him getting his way because I was just so exhausted. A few days later I found an email printed in the recycling bin written by his mom that was essentially a bullet point list of talking points he&#39;d used in the fight. She dumped him right away and cut contact with him and his fam.This wasn&#39;t the first time he&#39;d been too easily influenced by his mom: mother and son also sprung a motorcycle on her and tried forcing her to recreate the fianc&eacute;&#39;s parents&#39; biker honeymoon, without consulting her first.So after dumping him she had a rebound summer, as one does: I had an amazing summer, partied, got laid, ate what would have been my wedding cake off the bodies of my friends on a pontoon boat on lake havasu. I did my best to put it behind me. But now the originally planned wedding date has passed and the mom is blowing up her inbox. Well with the date having passed his mom has been emailing me things like &quot;just so sad to see this date pass and Alex be so sad.&quot; And &quot;if only we knew what was so wrong that you won&#39;t even talk to him&quot; and my favorite &quot;I&#39;d be happy to be a mediator between you two.&quot; To make matters worse, the mom has a built-in excuse for why no one is ever allowed to contradict her: His mom is obviously the &quot;alpha-male&quot; in the family but she has severe physical and emotional problems and had a legit heart attack when ex-Fiance&#39;s sister told her off. But ex-MIL uses this to have one sided fights which I feel she is doing now. But the woman wants to call and give her an earful about what a POS she is: I don&#39;t feel it&#39;s fair that she gets to send me message after message passive-aggressively assigning blame to me. I want to call her and explain to her all that SHE did wrong. Her question: would she be an a-hole if she did this?Opinions are mixed as far as whether it&#39;s a good idea to make the phone call. But everyone seems to agree that she dodged a bullet and the fianc&eacute;&#39;s mom is a narcissistic a-hole.Androgenenosis says calling the mom would only cause more drama: YTA [you&#39;re the a-hole], but not to her or your ex, but to yourself. Don&#39;t dredge this up again, OP. It&#39;s not healthy. You&#39;ve put in the work to get past this, so don&#39;t go undoing it by rehashing old wounds. She&#39;s an insufferable woman and all that matters is that you know that. Block her email and any texts/calls. Put this to bed. Fightthehoapower agrees &mdash; as anyone who&#39;s dealt with a manipulative controlling narcissist will tell you, telling them off rarely goes your way: In a fantasy world, you tell her off and some part of the truth settles in her strange brain. Maybe she snaps back into some kind of cogent trance for a moment - like when Frank the Tank perfectly responds to James Carville in the debate scene of Old School - and acknowledges the error of her ways and what a shitty person she is, and then maybe you high five a million angels.  But this is reality. She&#39;s the woman who thinks she can mediate your broken relationship with her co-dependent son back together. Nothing you could ever say could reach her, and no response you could ever receive would be satisfying.  Spending time thinking about this is time you aren&#39;t using to live your life away from these terrible people. You&#39;re free. Go do some fun, free as a bird type stuff to celebrate. Or get a good workout and massage. Either way, focus on you, and forget about those jackwagons. As does Throw_This_Away_4_Me: I only want to add that I&#39;m pretty sure your ex-MIL is baiting you. If you do tell her off, all it does is give her the ammunition she needs to paint you as a horrible person. She will be able to tell her son a list a reasons why he is better off without you. More importantly, you will give her all the reasons she needs to get the heat off of her. Alex is probably very upset with her and she doesn&#39;t like it.  You email her, leave a voice message - even if you call her, she&#39;ll probably record it - you give her an out and all the ammunition she needs to take the target off of her and onto you. Most importantly, Alex is learning a very painful lesson that he desperately needs to learn. If she is able to make you out as the villain, his lesson stops. Others, like SsailorScout, suggested writing it out: closure is important. And you have a lot of things on your chest to say. It may start another argument but oh well. Write it out and when you think you&rsquo;ve covered everything, send it. Then block everyone and live your best life. Whatever she decides, a swift blocking of all numbers and email addresses is certainly in order. Enjoy the rest of your hot girl summer, OP.

There are plenty of controlling mothers-in-law in the world, but this takes things to another level.  A woman felt forced to dump her fianc&eacute; and cancel her entire wedding after she found out that her soon-to-be-mother-in-law was...