life

<p>Skipping your sister&#39;s wedding is a pretty drastic thing to do &mdash; but what if it&#39;s because your sister&#39;s dating your ex?</p><p>And what if she started dating him <i>while you two were together</i>?</p><p>A woman in this situation <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/el4fya/aita_fpr_refusing_to_go_to_my_sisters_wedding/">recently asked Reddit for advice</a>. She&#39;s caught between wanting to set boundaries against the ex who hurt her, and wanting to make her family happy. Here&#39;s what she said.</p><h2>Her family had her back at first, respecting her decision to keep her distance from the ex.</h2><blockquote> <p>My sister is marrying my ex-bf who she started dating while I was still in a relationship with him. Yes, I know my ex was a scumbag too, but honestly, it hurts more my own sister did this to me over his cheating lying ass.</p> <p>At first, everyone was on my side and didn&#39;t urge for reconciliation and respected my desire to be nowhere near those two.</p> </blockquote><h2>Now that they&#39;re getting married, though, the family&#39;s changing its tune.</h2><blockquote> <p>But now they&#39;re getting married (and my sister is expecting her first kid/my parent&#39;s first grandkid) my mum is saying I should let the past stay in the past, and move on. That future niece deserves to have a loving extended family and a loving aunt.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>She doesn&#39;t want to let it go.</h2><blockquote> <p>I don&#39;t want to just play happy families and let it go. And I&#39;ve staunchly refused to go to their wedding. The wedding is a celebration of the couple and I have 0 interest in celebrating their love.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>So reddit, am I the a**hole for hard passing their wedding?</p> </blockquote><h2>Most people understand where she&#39;s coming from.</h2><p>As <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/el4fya/aita_fpr_refusing_to_go_to_my_sisters_wedding/fdfj7aq/">DunktatoOC</a> points out, the family is pretty clearly choosing the sister&#39;s happiness over hers:</p><blockquote> <p>As you tell it your ex-boyfriend cheated on you with your sister. This does not seem complex at all. Your family should support you and care for you. Your sister did neither. Even if your ex-boyfriend didn&#39;t want to be in a relationship with you anymore, he could have broken up with you. Your sister could have refused to let him cheat on you with her. She was self-serving and showed complete disregard for your emotions. You have every right to be upset.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/el4fya/aita_fpr_refusing_to_go_to_my_sisters_wedding/fdfrlkl/">Rose717</a> says making up with the couple could lead to long-term unhappiness for the woman:</p><blockquote> <p>You can let bygones be bygones, but that doesn&rsquo;t mean you have to sit there and pretend to be any kind of happy for two people who wronged you so personally. Let it go for your own personal mental health and in your own time, but sounds like your sister chose to not have a relationship with you when she decided to pursue this man. If you weren&rsquo;t related to the bride, would there be this push for reconciliation? Probably not. Don&rsquo;t know why people rug sweep terrible things because &ldquo;faaamily&rdquo;</p> </blockquote><h2>Some are saying she should forgive them if only for her own personal happiness.</h2><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/el4fya/aita_fpr_refusing_to_go_to_my_sisters_wedding/fdfjnuh/">IridianRaingem</a> says holding a grudge isn&#39;t great &mdash; not to mention, the sister might need her in the future if this cheater cheats again.</p><blockquote> <p>I wouldn&rsquo;t go either. You should forgive them for yourself though. It&rsquo;s not approving of what they did, but letting the anger go for your own peace of mind. You can forgive without condoning. You can forgive without being friends. You don&rsquo;t have to play happy family, but you should focus on your own happiness.</p> <p>Remember this: He cheated on you with your sister. What makes her think he&rsquo;s such a loyal catch? A cheater is a cheater. It&rsquo;s almost a guarantee he will cheat on her if he hasn&rsquo;t already. That relationship likely won&rsquo;t last.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>And <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/el4fya/aita_fpr_refusing_to_go_to_my_sisters_wedding/fdfjv4f/">casinoLF</a> agreed that there might be a time in the future when the two sisters come back together, but it&#39;s okay for her to skip the wedding right now:</p><blockquote> <p>There&#39;s going to come a time when you have to deal with them both, and their offspring, probably. But you don&#39;t have to let that time be right effing now, and you don&#39;t have to be a super involved aunt to this child.</p> </blockquote><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/el4fya/aita_fpr_refusing_to_go_to_my_sisters_wedding/fdgs465/">EHondaRousey</a> put it most succinctly:</p><blockquote> <p>Tell her you&#39;ll just catch the divorce hahaha</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Woman asks if it's okay to skip wedding of sister who's marrying her ex-boyfriend.

Skipping your sister&#39;s wedding is a pretty drastic thing to do &mdash; but what if it&#39;s because your sister&#39;s dating your ex?And what if she started dating him while you two were together?A woman in this situation recently asked Reddit for advice. She&#39;s caught between wanting to set boundaries against the ex who hurt her, and wanting to make her family happy. Here&#39;s what she said.Her family had her back at first, respecting her decision to keep her distance from the ex. My sister is marrying my ex-bf who she started dating while I was still in a relationship with him. Yes, I know my ex was a scumbag too, but honestly, it hurts more my own sister did this to me over his cheating lying ass. At first, everyone was on my side and didn&#39;t urge for reconciliation and respected my desire to be nowhere near those two. Now that they&#39;re getting married, though, the family&#39;s changing its tune. But now they&#39;re getting married (and my sister is expecting her first kid/my parent&#39;s first grandkid) my mum is saying I should let the past stay in the past, and move on. That future niece deserves to have a loving extended family and a loving aunt. She doesn&#39;t want to let it go. I don&#39;t want to just play happy families and let it go. And I&#39;ve staunchly refused to go to their wedding. The wedding is a celebration of the couple and I have 0 interest in celebrating their love.  So reddit, am I the a**hole for hard passing their wedding? Most people understand where she&#39;s coming from.As DunktatoOC points out, the family is pretty clearly choosing the sister&#39;s happiness over hers: As you tell it your ex-boyfriend cheated on you with your sister. This does not seem complex at all. Your family should support you and care for you. Your sister did neither. Even if your ex-boyfriend didn&#39;t want to be in a relationship with you anymore, he could have broken up with you. Your sister could have refused to let him cheat on you with her. She was self-serving and showed complete disregard for your emotions. You have every right to be upset. Rose717 says making up with the couple could lead to long-term unhappiness for the woman: You can let bygones be bygones, but that doesn&rsquo;t mean you have to sit there and pretend to be any kind of happy for two people who wronged you so personally. Let it go for your own personal mental health and in your own time, but sounds like your sister chose to not have a relationship with you when she decided to pursue this man. If you weren&rsquo;t related to the bride, would there be this push for reconciliation? Probably not. Don&rsquo;t know why people rug sweep terrible things because &ldquo;faaamily&rdquo; Some are saying she should forgive them if only for her own personal happiness.IridianRaingem says holding a grudge isn&#39;t great &mdash; not to mention, the sister might need her in the future if this cheater cheats again. I wouldn&rsquo;t go either. You should forgive them for yourself though. It&rsquo;s not approving of what they did, but letting the anger go for your own peace of mind. You can forgive without condoning. You can forgive without being friends. You don&rsquo;t have to play happy family, but you should focus on your own happiness. Remember this: He cheated on you with your sister. What makes her think he&rsquo;s such a loyal catch? A cheater is a cheater. It&rsquo;s almost a guarantee he will cheat on her if he hasn&rsquo;t already. That relationship likely won&rsquo;t last. And casinoLF agreed that there might be a time in the future when the two sisters come back together, but it&#39;s okay for her to skip the wedding right now: There&#39;s going to come a time when you have to deal with them both, and their offspring, probably. But you don&#39;t have to let that time be right effing now, and you don&#39;t have to be a super involved aunt to this child. EHondaRousey put it most succinctly: Tell her you&#39;ll just catch the divorce hahaha 

Skipping your sister&#39;s wedding is a pretty drastic thing to do &mdash; but what if it&#39;s because your sister&#39;s dating your ex?  And what if she started dating him while you two were together?  A woman in this situation recently...