life

<p> </p><h2>She says both of the mare working full-time, plus she&#39;s in school:</h2><blockquote> <p>My fianc&eacute; and I have lived together for 6 years with my 12 year old daughter and our 3 year old son. He works full time as a teacher. I work full time from home and put in just as much time/effort as I did when I was in the office (before covid.) I&#39;m also finishing up my last semester in college.</p> </blockquote><h2>But she still takes on a bigger portion of household work:</h2><blockquote> <p>I do all of the cooking and most of the cleaning, which I do not mind.</p> <p>We recently developed a rotation system with the dishes. I would do them one day, my daughter the next day and my fianc&eacute; the following day. My daughter and I would always do the dishes on our designated &quot;dish day.&quot; When it would get to my fianc&eacute;, it would pile up for days and he would ask my daughter for help.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Her fianc&eacute; came up with a new plan:</h2><blockquote> <p>Eventually he proposed another system. He and my daughter would help each other for two days in a row, then I would do them on my own one day. The work, in theory, would still be split equally. And so on. They both agreed. It sounded great. Except that doesn&#39;t happen. I still continued to do the dishes on my dish day. But they did not.</p> </blockquote><h2>She doesn&#39;tw ant to do the dishes anymore:</h2><blockquote> <p>I used to get frustrated with the mess and would break down and do them myself. But then I realized that they aren&#39;t learning to be accountable by me just doing them for them. So I let them pile up and up until we have no more dishes and they are forced to clean the mountain of dishes they allowed to accumulate. I still cook, clean the house, mop the floors, wipe off the counters, but I leave the dishes for them to do per our agreement.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>But then a relative came over:</h2><blockquote> <p>The other day we had a relative stop by to drop something off and I asked them to please excuse the kitchen and explained the situation. They were appalled that I did not do them myself and said that I have more time to do them since I&#39;m at home all day and that I should take on more of the chores. They also said I&#39;m being passive aggressive by not doing them and allowing them to build up so much. My fianc&eacute; also shares the ideology that I should be doing more than I do because I am working from home and have more time.</p> </blockquote><h2>She disagrees:</h2><blockquote> <p>Except I don&#39;t. Not really. I make a lot of money doing what I do and part of the reasoning for that is high performance. My bonuses and raises are merit based so I can&#39;t just bebop about the house while I&#39;m on the clock. I get two 15 minute breaks and a 45 minute lunch. My company can also monitor how much time you are &quot;active&quot; at your desk since it&#39;s a company computer on their VPN. There have been occasions where I&#39;ve spent my entire lunch break doing dishes, but I prefer to spend that time actually eating lunch.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Everyone thinks she&#39;s in the wrong:</h2><blockquote> <p>I originally didn&#39;t think that I was the AH here, but my fianc&eacute; and our family think that I am. I started thinking that maybe it is passive aggressive or mean or lazy for me to just ignore a chore that needs to be done and now I&#39;m on the fence about it.</p> </blockquote><h2>The people of the internet agree that her fianc&eacute; and daughter are majorly slacking, and she&#39;s not passive aggressive for handling it this way.</h2><p>BushyEyes says she definitely doesn&#39;t need to do more:</p><blockquote> <p>If you&#39;re both working full time, the dishes (and other house duties) should be split equally. I&#39;d be SO frustrated. Let them pile up.</p> </blockquote><p>DangerousWithForks says:</p><blockquote> <p>Too many people equate &quot;working from home&quot; as &quot;I have all the time in the world because I&#39;m home and within walking distance of my bed&quot;.</p> <p>You&#39;re completely in the right for leaving the dishes dirty. You pull your weight, so why can&#39;t they? If they lived by themselves, they&#39;d have to do it all alone, right?</p> <p>Also, the nerve of some people to walk into someone else&#39;s home and give their two cents worth on a situation they have no idea about.... terrible.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>plsbenicetomeokay says she needs to stay strong:</p><blockquote> <p> If you give in, then your fianc&eacute; will (rightfully) learn that they can ignore it and you will eventually do it. You&rsquo;re not refusing to do any chores. You&rsquo;re just refusing to do all the chores. (As agreed!)</p> <p>It might help if you stated the boundary, though. Like actually say, &ldquo;If you don&rsquo;t do the dishes on your day, then I will not do them and will allow them to pile up.&rdquo; Maybe not that exact phrasing, but something to that effect.</p> </blockquote><p>And Techsupportvictim summed it up:</p><blockquote> <p> A deal was made, they aren&rsquo;t following it</p> </blockquote><h2>So there you have it: according to the internet, working from home does <em>not</em> mean you have to do more chores.</h2><p>Hope this husband gets his act together...</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Woman asks if she's wrong for letting dishes pile up until fiancé helps clean.

 She says both of the mare working full-time, plus she&#39;s in school: My fianc&eacute; and I have lived together for 6 years with my 12 year old daughter and our 3 year old son. He works full time as a teacher. I work full time from home and put in just as much time/effort as I did when I was in the office (before covid.) I&#39;m also finishing up my last semester in college. But she still takes on a bigger portion of household work: I do all of the cooking and most of the cleaning, which I do not mind. We recently developed a rotation system with the dishes. I would do them one day, my daughter the next day and my fianc&eacute; the following day. My daughter and I would always do the dishes on our designated &quot;dish day.&quot; When it would get to my fianc&eacute;, it would pile up for days and he would ask my daughter for help. Her fianc&eacute; came up with a new plan: Eventually he proposed another system. He and my daughter would help each other for two days in a row, then I would do them on my own one day. The work, in theory, would still be split equally. And so on. They both agreed. It sounded great. Except that doesn&#39;t happen. I still continued to do the dishes on my dish day. But they did not. She doesn&#39;tw ant to do the dishes anymore: I used to get frustrated with the mess and would break down and do them myself. But then I realized that they aren&#39;t learning to be accountable by me just doing them for them. So I let them pile up and up until we have no more dishes and they are forced to clean the mountain of dishes they allowed to accumulate. I still cook, clean the house, mop the floors, wipe off the counters, but I leave the dishes for them to do per our agreement. But then a relative came over: The other day we had a relative stop by to drop something off and I asked them to please excuse the kitchen and explained the situation. They were appalled that I did not do them myself and said that I have more time to do them since I&#39;m at home all day and that I should take on more of the chores. They also said I&#39;m being passive aggressive by not doing them and allowing them to build up so much. My fianc&eacute; also shares the ideology that I should be doing more than I do because I am working from home and have more time. She disagrees: Except I don&#39;t. Not really. I make a lot of money doing what I do and part of the reasoning for that is high performance. My bonuses and raises are merit based so I can&#39;t just bebop about the house while I&#39;m on the clock. I get two 15 minute breaks and a 45 minute lunch. My company can also monitor how much time you are &quot;active&quot; at your desk since it&#39;s a company computer on their VPN. There have been occasions where I&#39;ve spent my entire lunch break doing dishes, but I prefer to spend that time actually eating lunch. Everyone thinks she&#39;s in the wrong: I originally didn&#39;t think that I was the AH here, but my fianc&eacute; and our family think that I am. I started thinking that maybe it is passive aggressive or mean or lazy for me to just ignore a chore that needs to be done and now I&#39;m on the fence about it. The people of the internet agree that her fianc&eacute; and daughter are majorly slacking, and she&#39;s not passive aggressive for handling it this way.BushyEyes says she definitely doesn&#39;t need to do more: If you&#39;re both working full time, the dishes (and other house duties) should be split equally. I&#39;d be SO frustrated. Let them pile up. DangerousWithForks says: Too many people equate &quot;working from home&quot; as &quot;I have all the time in the world because I&#39;m home and within walking distance of my bed&quot;. You&#39;re completely in the right for leaving the dishes dirty. You pull your weight, so why can&#39;t they? If they lived by themselves, they&#39;d have to do it all alone, right? Also, the nerve of some people to walk into someone else&#39;s home and give their two cents worth on a situation they have no idea about.... terrible. plsbenicetomeokay says she needs to stay strong:  If you give in, then your fianc&eacute; will (rightfully) learn that they can ignore it and you will eventually do it. You&rsquo;re not refusing to do any chores. You&rsquo;re just refusing to do all the chores. (As agreed!) It might help if you stated the boundary, though. Like actually say, &ldquo;If you don&rsquo;t do the dishes on your day, then I will not do them and will allow them to pile up.&rdquo; Maybe not that exact phrasing, but something to that effect. And Techsupportvictim summed it up:  A deal was made, they aren&rsquo;t following it So there you have it: according to the internet, working from home does not mean you have to do more chores.Hope this husband gets his act together... 

She says both of the mare working full-time, plus she&#39;s in school:   My fianc&eacute; and I have lived together for 6 years with my 12 year old daughter and our 3 year old son. He works full time as a teacher. I work full time from...