life

<p>Romantically tangling with a friend&#39;s family member can be dicey no matter what. Add a massive age difference, and it&#39;s basically a minefield of awkwardness.</p><p>A woman recently<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/owfv6c/wibta_if_i_told_my_friend_about_their_childs_22/"> took to Reddit</a> to ask for advice after her friend&#39;s child confessed to having a big crush on her. She wasn&#39;t interested. But still, she&#39;s not sure if she should tell her friend about it or let sleeping dogs lie. Here&#39;s the full story.</p><h2>The woman explains the child was &quot;very serious&quot;:</h2><blockquote> <p>The child of a very close friend of mine recently confessed their romantic interest in me. They were unfortunately very serious about this. I was very involved in bringing up this child - almost like an aunt/uncle - so the confession was a huge disappointment. I have been reflecting on my actions these past few days - really just fearful that I have f***** up in my interactions with the child and permanently twisted them somehow.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>It only gets more awkward:</h2><blockquote> <p>I immediately rejected the child and have pretty much cut off all communication and meetings. To their credit, they have reacted fairly maturely to the rejection, but apparently have not ceased their attempt to pursue me.</p> </blockquote><h2>She wants to tell her friend:</h2><blockquote> <p>I intend to tell my friend about what has transpired because:</p> <p>It seems too important to keep a secret. My friend will likely be very hurt if they found out about this themselves.</p> <p>I hope that my friend can have a talk with their child and hopefully steer them away.</p> </blockquote><h2>But not everyone thinks this is the best course of action: </h2><blockquote> <p>My sibling (also very involved in bringing up the child) did not approve of this. They felt that:</p> <p>Telling my friend would damage the relationship between us all. I risk damaging the parent-child relationship with this information.</p> <p>This is a mere infatuation and I just have to endure a short while for it to fade.</p> </blockquote><h2>So now, she wants to know what to do:</h2><blockquote> <p>The child is in fact an adult. There is nothing my friend could really do to &#39;control&#39; them. So I will achieve nothing and only end up f****** up our friendship.</p> <p>WIBTA if I told my best friend about their child&#39;s attempt to begin a romantic relationship with me?</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>The people of the internet can&#39;t agree on a resolution to this one.</h2><p>Polyamorph says:</p><blockquote> <p>I think you have to tell them. They&#39;ll never trust you again if you don&#39;t and they find out anyway.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><p>But DismalDog7753 disagrees:</p><blockquote> <p>I would consider very carefully before telling this to them. It might backfire massively.</p> <p>Perhaps give the &quot;child&quot; an ultimatum: either they stop harassing you or you&#39;ll tell their parent - and make sure you have proof on them being the instigator, not you.</p> </blockquote><p>StLgogo says:</p><blockquote> <p>You&rsquo;re in a very tough, no-win spot. Personally, I would not tell my friend. Their kid is an adult. Maybe they would laugh about this crush, maybe they would be horrified, or blame you. You have already told their child this is inappropriate, and never going to happen. Keep avoiding them, and if they continued to attempt inappropriate behavior towards you, tell them how offended you are. Like your sister said, with any luck this will pass ASAP</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>DrowBacks thinks honesty is the best policy:</p><blockquote> <p>I think the possibility of them finding out in any other way would be much more harmful to your relationship. Though I do think it is likely just a crush, ultimately its not unheard of for people to fall for nonfamily members thrown into a familiar role, you made the correct choice in rejecting her advances, between the age difference and your placement in a family role would basically eliminate the possibility for you both to be entering a relationship on the same footing</p> </blockquote><p>Trilobyte141 gives the most extensive advice:</p><blockquote> <p>I strongly encourage you to tell your friend. Try to do so as diplomatically as possible, explaining you just want them to know what&#39;s going on and how you&#39;ve handled it, but not that you want them to intervene. Here&#39;s why:</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>A) This situation DOES change your relationship to their child. You have gone from aunt/uncle to &#39;uninterested romantic target&#39;, and that means you will probably act very differently around them in the future, not feel like you can do some of the things you used to do, etc. If your friend doesn&#39;t know why you are acting so differently around their kid all of a sudden, that&#39;s going to create drama and problems.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>B) cover your own a**. You knew this person since they were a child. ANY parent, finding out their kid was romantically attracted to a person who knew them as a child, would wonder if grooming happened. They might come to believe you had done something wrong, or that they failed to protect their kid. Neither of these things are true, but the only way to make sure they know that is to BE HONEST NOW.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>If you don&#39;t tell them right away and explain your concerns and show how you responded, they will take your omission as proof of having something to hide... which would be a very natural thing for them to assume. The longer they don&#39;t know about this, the worse it will go when they do find out. And so long as the kid keeps approaching you, they will eventually find out.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>C) to the people saying it&#39;s not the parent&#39;s business to know... This is not just about the privacy of the young adult. OP is a person too and is allowed to speak their truth, to come to their friends with concerns, to share what they have experienced with whoever they feel the need to. If the kid had never approached them and OP found out about the infatuation by accident, then it would be a murkier matter, but as it is, their expectation of privacy went out the window when they approached another person for a (presumably open and public) relationship AND refuse to take &#39;no&#39; for an answer.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>OP, tell them. This kind of s*** only festers when you leave it in the dark. I&#39;m sorry you&#39;re in such an awkward position but your instincts are right here and you should follow them.</p> </blockquote><p>And the_lusyanka agrees:</p><blockquote> <p>I think it&#39;s a good idea to tell your friend - with the caveat that you should be careful with how you approach it.</p> <p>Romantically pursuing an aunt/uncle figure is an odd thing to do, and to be honest, my first thought was that somebody else might have groomed this kid to make them think it&#39;s normal.</p> <p>It would be good for both your friend and the kid for your friend to have a heads up, even though one or both of them might end up hating you for it.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>So there&#39;s no perfect answer to this.</h2><p>But it&#39;s pretty clear that if the parent finds out from someone else, they&#39;ll be peeved. Good luck to all involved...</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Woman asks if it'd be wrong to tell friend her adult kid confessed their love to her.

Romantically tangling with a friend&#39;s family member can be dicey no matter what. Add a massive age difference, and it&#39;s basically a minefield of awkwardness.A woman recently took to Reddit to ask for advice after her friend&#39;s child confessed to having a big crush on her. She wasn&#39;t interested. But still, she&#39;s not sure if she should tell her friend about it or let sleeping dogs lie. Here&#39;s the full story.The woman explains the child was &quot;very serious&quot;: The child of a very close friend of mine recently confessed their romantic interest in me. They were unfortunately very serious about this. I was very involved in bringing up this child - almost like an aunt/uncle - so the confession was a huge disappointment. I have been reflecting on my actions these past few days - really just fearful that I have f***** up in my interactions with the child and permanently twisted them somehow. It only gets more awkward: I immediately rejected the child and have pretty much cut off all communication and meetings. To their credit, they have reacted fairly maturely to the rejection, but apparently have not ceased their attempt to pursue me. She wants to tell her friend: I intend to tell my friend about what has transpired because: It seems too important to keep a secret. My friend will likely be very hurt if they found out about this themselves. I hope that my friend can have a talk with their child and hopefully steer them away. But not everyone thinks this is the best course of action:  My sibling (also very involved in bringing up the child) did not approve of this. They felt that: Telling my friend would damage the relationship between us all. I risk damaging the parent-child relationship with this information. This is a mere infatuation and I just have to endure a short while for it to fade. So now, she wants to know what to do: The child is in fact an adult. There is nothing my friend could really do to &#39;control&#39; them. So I will achieve nothing and only end up f****** up our friendship. WIBTA if I told my best friend about their child&#39;s attempt to begin a romantic relationship with me? The people of the internet can&#39;t agree on a resolution to this one.Polyamorph says: I think you have to tell them. They&#39;ll never trust you again if you don&#39;t and they find out anyway.  But DismalDog7753 disagrees: I would consider very carefully before telling this to them. It might backfire massively. Perhaps give the &quot;child&quot; an ultimatum: either they stop harassing you or you&#39;ll tell their parent - and make sure you have proof on them being the instigator, not you. StLgogo says: You&rsquo;re in a very tough, no-win spot. Personally, I would not tell my friend. Their kid is an adult. Maybe they would laugh about this crush, maybe they would be horrified, or blame you. You have already told their child this is inappropriate, and never going to happen. Keep avoiding them, and if they continued to attempt inappropriate behavior towards you, tell them how offended you are. Like your sister said, with any luck this will pass ASAP DrowBacks thinks honesty is the best policy: I think the possibility of them finding out in any other way would be much more harmful to your relationship. Though I do think it is likely just a crush, ultimately its not unheard of for people to fall for nonfamily members thrown into a familiar role, you made the correct choice in rejecting her advances, between the age difference and your placement in a family role would basically eliminate the possibility for you both to be entering a relationship on the same footing Trilobyte141 gives the most extensive advice: I strongly encourage you to tell your friend. Try to do so as diplomatically as possible, explaining you just want them to know what&#39;s going on and how you&#39;ve handled it, but not that you want them to intervene. Here&#39;s why:   A) This situation DOES change your relationship to their child. You have gone from aunt/uncle to &#39;uninterested romantic target&#39;, and that means you will probably act very differently around them in the future, not feel like you can do some of the things you used to do, etc. If your friend doesn&#39;t know why you are acting so differently around their kid all of a sudden, that&#39;s going to create drama and problems.   B) cover your own a**. You knew this person since they were a child. ANY parent, finding out their kid was romantically attracted to a person who knew them as a child, would wonder if grooming happened. They might come to believe you had done something wrong, or that they failed to protect their kid. Neither of these things are true, but the only way to make sure they know that is to BE HONEST NOW.   If you don&#39;t tell them right away and explain your concerns and show how you responded, they will take your omission as proof of having something to hide... which would be a very natural thing for them to assume. The longer they don&#39;t know about this, the worse it will go when they do find out. And so long as the kid keeps approaching you, they will eventually find out.   C) to the people saying it&#39;s not the parent&#39;s business to know... This is not just about the privacy of the young adult. OP is a person too and is allowed to speak their truth, to come to their friends with concerns, to share what they have experienced with whoever they feel the need to. If the kid had never approached them and OP found out about the infatuation by accident, then it would be a murkier matter, but as it is, their expectation of privacy went out the window when they approached another person for a (presumably open and public) relationship AND refuse to take &#39;no&#39; for an answer.   OP, tell them. This kind of s*** only festers when you leave it in the dark. I&#39;m sorry you&#39;re in such an awkward position but your instincts are right here and you should follow them. And the_lusyanka agrees: I think it&#39;s a good idea to tell your friend - with the caveat that you should be careful with how you approach it. Romantically pursuing an aunt/uncle figure is an odd thing to do, and to be honest, my first thought was that somebody else might have groomed this kid to make them think it&#39;s normal. It would be good for both your friend and the kid for your friend to have a heads up, even though one or both of them might end up hating you for it. So there&#39;s no perfect answer to this.But it&#39;s pretty clear that if the parent finds out from someone else, they&#39;ll be peeved. Good luck to all involved...

Romantically tangling with a friend&#39;s family member can be dicey no matter what. Add a massive age difference, and it&#39;s basically a minefield of awkwardness.  A woman recently took to Reddit to ask for advice after her friend&#39;s...