Lifestyle

<p>The promise &quot;til death do us part&quot; fails to account for all the challenges that precede death. Marriage is hard work: people grow apart over the years, or in some cases, people don&#39;t grow at all, causing it&#39;s own set of problems. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/n4h0zm/people_who_split_up_after_decades_of_marriage/">Women on Reddit</a> opened up about the issues that lead them to leave their spouses after decades of marriage, at it&#39;s truly a miracle that people ever make it at all.</p><h2>1. He blamed her for the rain.</h2><blockquote> <p>When my then husband blamed me for the weather.</p> <p>Everything that was not perfect was always my fault. &laquo; You did not check/remember/change/evaluate/bring/ensure [something] &raquo;</p> <p>It had been so unreasonable for so long time, but pointing me with his finger, when it was raining was the last straw. I made the decision to gently push him out of my life. Just to live peacefully.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>The most infuriating thing today is that he tells everybody, how perfect I was and never made a mistake. Gee, thanks.</p> <p>We were married just short of 20 years.-<a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sitruspuserrin/">sitruspuserrin</a></p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>2. He asked for separate bedrooms, an alarm went off in her head.</h2><blockquote> <p>There were several times we came close and I backed down. The last straw that literally snapped something in my brain was him suggesting we get separate bedrooms. I highly highly suspected he was cheating AGAIN but had no solid proof. I knew him well and I knew his &quot;plan&quot; was to keep me around for wifey stuff and to keep up appearances because his family looks down on divorce. Instead I told him &quot;nope we are getting divorced &quot;. Didn&#39;t fight him at all, zero.</p> <p>This actually forced him to let his side chick move in. I ended up telling his family about the divorce because he tired to hide it hoping I&#39;d change my mind. He got everything his way, every last thing. Huge surprise he&#39;s not happy.</p> <p>But I can&#39;t hold a bit of anger for him because, my current life was only possible because of how and when our divorce went down and I&#39;ve never been happier in my entire life. Rough way to get here but worth it.<em>married 26yrs dated for 2 years before that. -</em><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MotherofJackals/">MotherofJackals</a></p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>3. He cheated...again, and was a terrible dad.</h2><blockquote> <p>When I realize he was seeing someone else &ldquo;cheating&rdquo; for second time in our marriage and we went counseling and she asked if he still loved me and he couldn&rsquo;t answer the question. &ldquo;We the kids and I started living separated lives than him and he was perfectly happy to to engage with us. He had a separate room yet refused to move out. The kids and I only found peace when he wasn&rsquo;t around. The final straw was when he started treating my kids like they didn&rsquo;t matter. We had a huge fight one night and the next I went work and came home he had move out!</p> <p>He ended up with the mistress- we divorced. He&rsquo;s 56 years old with a 3 year and 7 month baby.</p> <p>Our 22 year old twins have no relationship with him.</p> <p>Started dating at 18yrs old</p> <p>married 28 years, together 32.-<a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/tonjaunderwood/">tonjaunderwood</a></p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>4. They simply grew apart.</h2><blockquote> <p>Was with my ex-husband for exactly one decade, there was nothing wrong, no one cheated nothing like that, I had gotten into the relationship when I was 18, and by the age of 25, I was a vastly different person than I was at that time.</p> <p>I wanted to leave at 26 but stuck it out for another 3 years, tried counseling and everything, by 28 I still wanted to leave, I just couldn&#39;t muster up the courage to leave. When nothing&#39;s wrong and everyone tells you your so lucky, and even the couple counselor says you&#39;ve worked through all the problems, etc. how do you leave?</p> <p>I was miserable and the final straw was actually when he asked if everything was ok, and then I finally said no, we broke up pretty peacefully, and I could not be happier. I just feel bad for wasting so much of his time, I wish I had left sooner.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>He was my first ever relationship and I am very grateful for having him, but looking back now I was settling for someone who was so different than me in a lot of ways and having no prior experience with finding out what I like and what I don&#39;t like I kinda just accepted that this was it. I am in another relationship right now and I can definitely say that I fully believe in the concept of not giving up in marriage. I went into my last marriage thinking divorce was an option, with this relationship I don&#39;t.</p> <p>TLDR: I got into a serious relationship when I was too young and changed too much that it wasn&#39;t a good fit anymore. Just two people on different paths.-<a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/LilLostMe/">LilLostMe</a></p> </blockquote><h2>5. They stopped doing it.</h2><blockquote> <p>Only a decade being together, but the final straw was lack of sex.-<a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/RankNFile17/">RankNFile17</a></p> </blockquote><h2>6. He kept too many secrets.</h2><blockquote> <p>Almost 2 decades of marriage ended for a combination of things that all rolled together. Addiction, a credit card I didn&#39;t know about with a huge balance, and refusing to talk with me or a counselor about any of it. I realized it was a dangerous situation and left the marriage. One of the best things a counselor said to me was that we always focus on the &quot;until death&quot; part of the vows, but there are a lot of other vows that we say before that one, and if those vows aren&#39;t being kept then why are we holding onto that last one?-<a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/emu4you/">emu4you</a></p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>7. He was a moocher.</h2><blockquote> <p>My ex spent every dime I had on grandiose business ideas that always failed, or whims of his. This was one of many issues in our 10 year marriage. The last straw was when he bought a $500 chainsaw with my money that ended up putting me in the negative because I had bills that auto paid.-<a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Nerfworthy/">Nerfworthy</a></p> </blockquote><h2>8. He didn&#39;t help her after she was harrassed.</h2><blockquote> <p>My ex didn&rsquo;t respond at all when I told him I was harassed in a hotel bar by 3 guys. No response- no comforting, not asking how I was- nothing. And in the past when I mentioned this, I got a comment that people sometimes don&rsquo;t know how to respond to being told this- they freeze- fair enough. However he is a very sensitive guy, a preschool teacher- and I felt he always saved that best sensitive side for others. The lack of response in this case carried a lot of heavy weight. It was the last of many many straws- certainly not the only one.-<a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/triticoides/">triticoides</a></p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>9. He struggled with addiction and didn&#39;t help with the kids.</h2><blockquote> <p>Married for 11 years, together for 16.</p> <p>I had tons - tons - of reasons to leave. Small little red flags that became huge ones after we married and had kids. Constant lying, addiction, failed businesses, financial issues, no help with the babies, etc. I spent my entire maternity leave on my last baby going in and out of the various hospitals he would end up in. I told myself I was being a supprtive wife, honouring my vows etc. He promised he would get help etc.</p> <p>Anyway the final straw. He had been in recovery, we were doing ok. He had started working again and had come out for a day trip with me and the girls. That night, I woke at 1.30am to breastfeed our youngest and saw the downstairs lights on. I just knew in my heart. I settled my daughter back to sleep and went out to his van parked across the road to find him in there with his dealer. He started telling me some story but I cut him off. There I was, exhausted from breastfeeding and running round after our toddlers all day and this is what he does? He says hes too tired to get up and help with the kids at night or do one poxy night feed but he can stay awake for this?</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>I was done. I snapped. I told him to get himself, his dealer and his van the fuck away from my house and my kids and if ever dared to return I would call police and get a restraining order.</p> <p>The only regret I have about that decision is that I didn&rsquo;t make it sooner. I wasted so much of my life on that waster.-<a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Scroll_Queeen/">Scroll_Queeen</a></p> </blockquote><h2>10. He didn&#39;t make her happy anymore.</h2><blockquote> <p>I hugged a friend and laughed from a genuine place. In that moment I realized I had gone years without really experiencing joy, life. When I tackled my depression and healed myself, my marriage was no longer compatible with who I am. I don&rsquo;t hate or blame him, but I couldn&rsquo;t love me and be married to him at the same time. Still happy I chose me.-<a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/KMDMD/">KMDMD</a></p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

10 people who got divorced after decades of marriage share the final straw.

The promise &quot;til death do us part&quot; fails to account for all the challenges that precede death. Marriage is hard work: people grow apart over the years, or in some cases, people don&#39;t grow at all, causing it&#39;s own set of problems. Women on Reddit opened up about the issues that lead them to leave their spouses after decades of marriage, at it&#39;s truly a miracle that people ever make it at all.1. He blamed her for the rain. When my then husband blamed me for the weather. Everything that was not perfect was always my fault. &laquo; You did not check/remember/change/evaluate/bring/ensure [something] &raquo; It had been so unreasonable for so long time, but pointing me with his finger, when it was raining was the last straw. I made the decision to gently push him out of my life. Just to live peacefully.  The most infuriating thing today is that he tells everybody, how perfect I was and never made a mistake. Gee, thanks. We were married just short of 20 years.-sitruspuserrin 2. He asked for separate bedrooms, an alarm went off in her head. There were several times we came close and I backed down. The last straw that literally snapped something in my brain was him suggesting we get separate bedrooms. I highly highly suspected he was cheating AGAIN but had no solid proof. I knew him well and I knew his &quot;plan&quot; was to keep me around for wifey stuff and to keep up appearances because his family looks down on divorce. Instead I told him &quot;nope we are getting divorced &quot;. Didn&#39;t fight him at all, zero. This actually forced him to let his side chick move in. I ended up telling his family about the divorce because he tired to hide it hoping I&#39;d change my mind. He got everything his way, every last thing. Huge surprise he&#39;s not happy. But I can&#39;t hold a bit of anger for him because, my current life was only possible because of how and when our divorce went down and I&#39;ve never been happier in my entire life. Rough way to get here but worth it.married 26yrs dated for 2 years before that. -MotherofJackals 3. He cheated...again, and was a terrible dad. When I realize he was seeing someone else &ldquo;cheating&rdquo; for second time in our marriage and we went counseling and she asked if he still loved me and he couldn&rsquo;t answer the question. &ldquo;We the kids and I started living separated lives than him and he was perfectly happy to to engage with us. He had a separate room yet refused to move out. The kids and I only found peace when he wasn&rsquo;t around. The final straw was when he started treating my kids like they didn&rsquo;t matter. We had a huge fight one night and the next I went work and came home he had move out! He ended up with the mistress- we divorced. He&rsquo;s 56 years old with a 3 year and 7 month baby. Our 22 year old twins have no relationship with him. Started dating at 18yrs old married 28 years, together 32.-tonjaunderwood 4. They simply grew apart. Was with my ex-husband for exactly one decade, there was nothing wrong, no one cheated nothing like that, I had gotten into the relationship when I was 18, and by the age of 25, I was a vastly different person than I was at that time. I wanted to leave at 26 but stuck it out for another 3 years, tried counseling and everything, by 28 I still wanted to leave, I just couldn&#39;t muster up the courage to leave. When nothing&#39;s wrong and everyone tells you your so lucky, and even the couple counselor says you&#39;ve worked through all the problems, etc. how do you leave? I was miserable and the final straw was actually when he asked if everything was ok, and then I finally said no, we broke up pretty peacefully, and I could not be happier. I just feel bad for wasting so much of his time, I wish I had left sooner.  He was my first ever relationship and I am very grateful for having him, but looking back now I was settling for someone who was so different than me in a lot of ways and having no prior experience with finding out what I like and what I don&#39;t like I kinda just accepted that this was it. I am in another relationship right now and I can definitely say that I fully believe in the concept of not giving up in marriage. I went into my last marriage thinking divorce was an option, with this relationship I don&#39;t. TLDR: I got into a serious relationship when I was too young and changed too much that it wasn&#39;t a good fit anymore. Just two people on different paths.-LilLostMe 5. They stopped doing it. Only a decade being together, but the final straw was lack of sex.-RankNFile17 6. He kept too many secrets. Almost 2 decades of marriage ended for a combination of things that all rolled together. Addiction, a credit card I didn&#39;t know about with a huge balance, and refusing to talk with me or a counselor about any of it. I realized it was a dangerous situation and left the marriage. One of the best things a counselor said to me was that we always focus on the &quot;until death&quot; part of the vows, but there are a lot of other vows that we say before that one, and if those vows aren&#39;t being kept then why are we holding onto that last one?-emu4you 7. He was a moocher. My ex spent every dime I had on grandiose business ideas that always failed, or whims of his. This was one of many issues in our 10 year marriage. The last straw was when he bought a $500 chainsaw with my money that ended up putting me in the negative because I had bills that auto paid.-Nerfworthy 8. He didn&#39;t help her after she was harrassed. My ex didn&rsquo;t respond at all when I told him I was harassed in a hotel bar by 3 guys. No response- no comforting, not asking how I was- nothing. And in the past when I mentioned this, I got a comment that people sometimes don&rsquo;t know how to respond to being told this- they freeze- fair enough. However he is a very sensitive guy, a preschool teacher- and I felt he always saved that best sensitive side for others. The lack of response in this case carried a lot of heavy weight. It was the last of many many straws- certainly not the only one.-triticoides 9. He struggled with addiction and didn&#39;t help with the kids. Married for 11 years, together for 16. I had tons - tons - of reasons to leave. Small little red flags that became huge ones after we married and had kids. Constant lying, addiction, failed businesses, financial issues, no help with the babies, etc. I spent my entire maternity leave on my last baby going in and out of the various hospitals he would end up in. I told myself I was being a supprtive wife, honouring my vows etc. He promised he would get help etc. Anyway the final straw. He had been in recovery, we were doing ok. He had started working again and had come out for a day trip with me and the girls. That night, I woke at 1.30am to breastfeed our youngest and saw the downstairs lights on. I just knew in my heart. I settled my daughter back to sleep and went out to his van parked across the road to find him in there with his dealer. He started telling me some story but I cut him off. There I was, exhausted from breastfeeding and running round after our toddlers all day and this is what he does? He says hes too tired to get up and help with the kids at night or do one poxy night feed but he can stay awake for this?  I was done. I snapped. I told him to get himself, his dealer and his van the fuck away from my house and my kids and if ever dared to return I would call police and get a restraining order. The only regret I have about that decision is that I didn&rsquo;t make it sooner. I wasted so much of my life on that waster.-Scroll_Queeen 10. He didn&#39;t make her happy anymore. I hugged a friend and laughed from a genuine place. In that moment I realized I had gone years without really experiencing joy, life. When I tackled my depression and healed myself, my marriage was no longer compatible with who I am. I don&rsquo;t hate or blame him, but I couldn&rsquo;t love me and be married to him at the same time. Still happy I chose me.-KMDMD 

The promise &quot;til death do us part&quot; fails to account for all the challenges that precede death. Marriage is hard work: people grow apart over the years, or in some cases, people don&#39;t grow at all, causing it&#39;s own set of...