It's been a wild week, with Michael Cohen's guilty plea having pundits declaring that it's the beginning of the end of Trump's presidency. These tweets have nothing to do with that. Enjoy!1.Ladies, if he- looks impeccable in a suit- comes in clutch with that emotional support - knows how to craft a compliment like it’s an art- can build furniture without a tantrum- knows how to build sexual tension with self control That’s no man, that’s a lesbian.— Kennedy (But Spooky) (@kcath23) November 26, 2018 2.If u want to date women in their early 20’s u must be ok with our culture of subtweeting and being “emotionally messy” online....also u may not subtweet us as that is appropriation— Rachel Sennott (@Rachel_Sennott) November 28, 2018 3.Ladies if she:-has flaming locks of auburn hair-ivory skin -eyes of emerald greenShe’s got your man, she’s Jolene— cathy humes (@CrappyFumes) November 27, 2018 4.Handcuffing myself to the door of my therapists office until he makes me better.— Molly Jong-Fast🏡 (@MollyJongFast) November 29, 2018 5.this is the scariest thing i’ve ever seen on letterboxd pic.twitter.com/HP96oRjZxE— flo ¨̮ (@astralbarnes) November 25, 2018 6.Fuck, marry, kill: Diners, Drive-ins, Dives— Alison Stevenson (@JustAboutGlad) November 25, 2018 7.Phone, burner phone, vape pen, massive golden key https://t.co/K7nGFmCwAi— Lucy Prebble (@lucyprebblish) November 25, 2018 8.Ladies if:- I see this joke format- one more time- I swear to god I’m going to lose it.— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) November 25, 2018 9. *elaine from seinfeld voice* he tried to un-ghost me! JERRY: you can't unghost! once you ghost, you gotta stay ghosted ELAINE: what does he think this is, a seance? KRAMER: no no no no I don't do seances, not after last time — Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) November 25, 2018 10.why would you name your kid Abcde when Stu is right there— Mina Kimes (@minakimes) November 29, 2018 11.if you say you love Christmas music all I hear is “I’ve never worked retail”— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) November 30, 2018 12.my eyes: la croix my brain: la croymy mouth: la crocs— m ¨̮ (@melmadara) November 25, 2018 13.https://twitter.com/TaxedTitties/status/106784038536223129714.film critics small children 🤝 Paddington 2— hannah woodhead (@goodjobliz) November 27, 2018 15.Clair de Lune has these crazy big finger stretches you can only do if you have giant hands. This is why I know Debussy had a huge dick. So, moving onto slide two— grace spelman (@GraceSpelman) September 10, 2018 16.[inventing the toaster]engineer: Ok it burns the bread if you put it at 4chief engineer: perfect. Make it go up to 8— schmox (@IvoryGazelle) November 26, 2018 17.when bookstores call you out pic.twitter.com/UXKEDGgcx9— Stephanie Cooke on Hiatus(ish) 🔮🎃👻🐺 (@hellocookie) November 25, 2018 18.How to Acting:Man: yell Woman: cry Congrats u r now acter :)— Geraldine Viswanatha (@yoyogeraldinev) November 25, 2018 19.Me still trying to shop at Forever 21 pic.twitter.com/Cc60PVKfxq— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) November 28, 2018 20.Teaching my roommates Spanish one label at a time ☺️ pic.twitter.com/hqlHUZ2O7V— bri (@_breegee) November 27, 2018 21.Do you remember when your mom would take you shopping and you would come home and do a “fashion show” for your dad who was half asleep on the couch and would give you a nod and a “very nice” for every outfit or was that just my family.— Brooke March (@Brooke_L_March) November 28, 2018 22.My flight was delayed 3 hours so I was doing what any human does when they’re bored. Minding my own business swiping through tinder & the guy behind me goes “ouch hard no for that one?” And I turn around ONLY TO SEE THE MAN I JUST SWIPED NO ON BEHIND ME HAHAHA— tay (@Taylor_Stag) November 26, 2018 23.This girl I used to go out with is still using my Netflix and that's cool. She's watching Scandal and is currently on S7E12. Series finale is S7E18. Guess who's changing her password as soon as she gets to episode 17? Yep, it's Petty Labelle.— 🏳️🌈Quee(r)n Regina (@heyqueenregina) November 26, 2018 24.If you’re not excited for the new Lion King movie.. you’re lion— Kelsey Impicciche (@kelseydangerous) November 23, 2018 25.happy holidays only to emma from teen jeopardy who didn’t know how to dab pic.twitter.com/0mSt9D5taS— Rachel Taenzler (@racheltaenzler) November 25, 2018