Lifestyle

<p><span style="font-family: BlinkMacSystemFont, -apple-system, &quot;Segoe UI&quot;, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, &quot;Fira Sans&quot;, &quot;Droid Sans&quot;, &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: -0.02em;">The summer of <em>Midsommar </em>is officially in its late-summer phase, and Green Day is beginning to stock up on nuts for September. Before you freak out over whether or not you have truly made the most of the season society and The Beach Boys insist is the best, enjoy some funny jokes. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: BlinkMacSystemFont, -apple-system, &quot;Segoe UI&quot;, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, &quot;Fira Sans&quot;, &quot;Droid Sans&quot;, &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: -0.02em;">1.</span></p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">late 2000s teen culture was bringing a digital camera to school to take pics of your friends sitting next to lockers and then uploading them to a facebook album called “school” later that day</p>&mdash; steph mccann (@steph_mcca) <a href="https://twitter.com/steph_mcca/status/1162150721954836481?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 15, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>2.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">It’s crazy because in LA I’m a 7 but anywhere else I’m a human being</p>&mdash; May Wilkerson (@shutupmay) <a href="https://twitter.com/shutupmay/status/1161421727382953984?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 13, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>3.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Everyone gets ONE famous scientologist they’re allowed to pretend isn’t really a scientologist in order to fully and purely enjoy their work.</p>&mdash; Sierra (@crayolaawonderr) <a href="https://twitter.com/crayolaawonderr/status/1162076604882964485?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 15, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>4.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Being a baby must be traumatizing at times... Imagine going to sleep in your house and you wake up in Shoprite<br>😔😂😂</p>&mdash; #McHoney 💕 (@leemchoneyZim) <a href="https://twitter.com/leemchoneyZim/status/1161974240524087296?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 15, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>5.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Me trying to find my friends at festivals <a href="https://t.co/YYsQUhZ6sP">pic.twitter.com/YYsQUhZ6sP</a></p>&mdash; 🌞 (@LitLynnnn) <a href="https://twitter.com/LitLynnnn/status/1161842983508987904?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 15, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>6.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">you’ll ask someone in LA to get dinner tonight and they’re like “yeah I have a meeting at HBO in 2 weeks but that should work”</p>&mdash; Audrey Kaufman (@KaufmanAudrey) <a href="https://twitter.com/KaufmanAudrey/status/1161345439888625664?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 13, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>7.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Barney on How I Met Your Mother is Jordan Peterson if no one liked him</p>&mdash; Bron.com (@brondotcomputer) <a href="https://twitter.com/brondotcomputer/status/1162179278995427329?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 16, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>8.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">shazam but for whether everyone is understanding the references in a conversation</p>&mdash; Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) <a href="https://twitter.com/aparnapkin/status/1162176010290380801?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 16, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>9.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Since everyone’s breaking down the March sisters:<br><br>Amy = my neck<br>Meg = my back<br>Jo = my pussy<br>Beth = and my crack</p>&mdash; Ariel Dumas (@ArielDumas) <a href="https://twitter.com/ArielDumas/status/1161466870555389952?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 14, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>10.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Being an adult is just saying let’s catch up and never catching up forever</p>&mdash; Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) <a href="https://twitter.com/sarahcpr/status/1162077278131695617?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 15, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>11.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">HETROSPECT, n. Realizing things you did in your youth were not, in fact, straight. EX: “In hetrospect, her adolescent fascination with Joan Jett was a sign.”</p>&mdash; Felicia &quot;Ray&quot; Davin (@FeliciaDavin) <a href="https://twitter.com/FeliciaDavin/status/1160003546743484422?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 10, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>12.</p><oembed>https://twitter.com/aebxo/status/1161442088782893056?s=20</oembed><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>13.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">&quot;Contouring is stupid&quot;<br>-guy who grew a beard to hide his lack of chin</p>&mdash; cathy humes (@CrappyFumes) <a href="https://twitter.com/CrappyFumes/status/1162140165223014400?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 15, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>14.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Never a dull moment at the knife sharpening school</p>&mdash; Brooke Heinichen (@brookeheinichen) <a href="https://twitter.com/brookeheinichen/status/1162131840758452225?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 15, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>15.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">just found out the fuckable chicken from chicken run was mel gibson :( feels unfair</p>&mdash; jamieloftus 🏂 (@jamieloftusHELP) <a href="https://twitter.com/jamieloftusHELP/status/1162166549224009729?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 16, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>16.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Why is my dog also a therapist who is disappointed that you continue using humor to deflect as a means to avoid resolving conflict. <a href="https://t.co/Q0jbWLBeCq">pic.twitter.com/Q0jbWLBeCq</a></p>&mdash; rachel (@madamradams) <a href="https://twitter.com/madamradams/status/1161863887957966849?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 15, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>17.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Y’all really thought vannessa would walk 1000 miles for what...A MAN???!!! <a href="https://t.co/RNse1QA7Bt">https://t.co/RNse1QA7Bt</a></p>&mdash; Em | ACAB (@emilyemsmurfy) <a href="https://twitter.com/emilyemsmurfy/status/1162137246905991168?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 15, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>18.</p><oembed>https://twitter.com/jourdayen/status/1162359921763069952?s=20</oembed><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>19.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">can I have a midlife crisis now if I promise to die at 50</p>&mdash; ellory smith (@ellorysmith) <a href="https://twitter.com/ellorysmith/status/1159880869470822401?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 9, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>20.</p><oembed>https://twitter.com/thirsty_spice/status/1162374925690294273?s=20</oembed><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>21.</p><oembed>https://twitter.com/ginnyhogan_/status/1160915811269259264?s=20</oembed><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>22.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">“I couldn’t help but wonder: if I can build a federal agency to protect consumers, can I also protect my heart?” <a href="https://t.co/LIFzwBdgW6">pic.twitter.com/LIFzwBdgW6</a></p>&mdash; Orli Matlow (@HireMeImFunny) <a href="https://twitter.com/HireMeImFunny/status/1161119908295532545?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 13, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>23.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">part of personal growth is being accountable for the ways we hurt others. if you have used an anti-italian slur don’t deny the harm or become defensive, instead start from a place of “uh oh spaghettio”</p>&mdash; Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) <a href="https://twitter.com/BrandyLJensen/status/1161267608898932737?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 13, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>24.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">every day we have to wake up, confront the most upsetting shit we’ve ever seen, and then walk around obeying laws and saying “it’s tomato season”</p>&mdash; Sarah Lazarus (@sarahclazarus) <a href="https://twitter.com/sarahclazarus/status/1160206704988086272?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 10, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>25.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">“We’ve ALL heard the famous tale of the little old lady who lived in a shoe, but what if you were to learn that the shoe she moved into was, in fact.... a heely.“<br>-me, pitching my dark &amp; twisted black mirror episode idea to a deer’s corpse in the woods</p>&mdash; Patti Harrison (@Party_Harderson) <a href="https://twitter.com/Party_Harderson/status/1160350897068634112?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 11, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

25 tweets from women this week that will make you smile, not that we're telling women to smile.

The summer of Midsommar is officially in its late-summer phase, and Green Day is beginning to stock up on nuts for September. Before you freak out over whether or not you have truly made the most of the season society and The Beach Boys insist is the best, enjoy some funny jokes. 1.late 2000s teen culture was bringing a digital camera to school to take pics of your friends sitting next to lockers and then uploading them to a facebook album called “school” later that day&mdash; steph mccann (@steph_mcca) August 15, 2019 2.It’s crazy because in LA I’m a 7 but anywhere else I’m a human being&mdash; May Wilkerson (@shutupmay) August 13, 2019 3.Everyone gets ONE famous scientologist they’re allowed to pretend isn’t really a scientologist in order to fully and purely enjoy their work.&mdash; Sierra (@crayolaawonderr) August 15, 2019 4.Being a baby must be traumatizing at times... Imagine going to sleep in your house and you wake up in Shoprite😔😂😂&mdash; #McHoney 💕 (@leemchoneyZim) August 15, 2019 5.Me trying to find my friends at festivals pic.twitter.com/YYsQUhZ6sP&mdash; 🌞 (@LitLynnnn) August 15, 2019 6.you’ll ask someone in LA to get dinner tonight and they’re like “yeah I have a meeting at HBO in 2 weeks but that should work”&mdash; Audrey Kaufman (@KaufmanAudrey) August 13, 2019 7.Barney on How I Met Your Mother is Jordan Peterson if no one liked him&mdash; Bron.com (@brondotcomputer) August 16, 2019 8.shazam but for whether everyone is understanding the references in a conversation&mdash; Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) August 16, 2019 9.Since everyone’s breaking down the March sisters:Amy = my neckMeg = my backJo = my pussyBeth = and my crack&mdash; Ariel Dumas (@ArielDumas) August 14, 2019 10.Being an adult is just saying let’s catch up and never catching up forever&mdash; Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) August 15, 2019 11.HETROSPECT, n. Realizing things you did in your youth were not, in fact, straight. EX: “In hetrospect, her adolescent fascination with Joan Jett was a sign.”&mdash; Felicia &quot;Ray&quot; Davin (@FeliciaDavin) August 10, 2019 12.https://twitter.com/aebxo/status/1161442088782893056?s=2013.&quot;Contouring is stupid&quot;-guy who grew a beard to hide his lack of chin&mdash; cathy humes (@CrappyFumes) August 15, 2019 14.Never a dull moment at the knife sharpening school&mdash; Brooke Heinichen (@brookeheinichen) August 15, 2019 15.just found out the fuckable chicken from chicken run was mel gibson :( feels unfair&mdash; jamieloftus 🏂 (@jamieloftusHELP) August 16, 2019 16.Why is my dog also a therapist who is disappointed that you continue using humor to deflect as a means to avoid resolving conflict. pic.twitter.com/Q0jbWLBeCq&mdash; rachel (@madamradams) August 15, 2019 17.Y’all really thought vannessa would walk 1000 miles for what...A MAN???!!! https://t.co/RNse1QA7Bt&mdash; Em | ACAB (@emilyemsmurfy) August 15, 2019 18.https://twitter.com/jourdayen/status/1162359921763069952?s=2019.can I have a midlife crisis now if I promise to die at 50&mdash; ellory smith (@ellorysmith) August 9, 2019 20.https://twitter.com/thirsty_spice/status/1162374925690294273?s=2021.https://twitter.com/ginnyhogan_/status/1160915811269259264?s=2022.“I couldn’t help but wonder: if I can build a federal agency to protect consumers, can I also protect my heart?” pic.twitter.com/LIFzwBdgW6&mdash; Orli Matlow (@HireMeImFunny) August 13, 2019 23.part of personal growth is being accountable for the ways we hurt others. if you have used an anti-italian slur don’t deny the harm or become defensive, instead start from a place of “uh oh spaghettio”&mdash; Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) August 13, 2019 24.every day we have to wake up, confront the most upsetting shit we’ve ever seen, and then walk around obeying laws and saying “it’s tomato season”&mdash; Sarah Lazarus (@sarahclazarus) August 10, 2019 25.“We’ve ALL heard the famous tale of the little old lady who lived in a shoe, but what if you were to learn that the shoe she moved into was, in fact.... a heely.“-me, pitching my dark &amp; twisted black mirror episode idea to a deer’s corpse in the woods&mdash; Patti Harrison (@Party_Harderson) August 11, 2019 

The summer of Midsommar is officially in its late-summer phase, and Green Day is beginning to stock up on nuts for September. Before you freak out over whether or not you have truly made the most of the season society and The Beach Boys...