Lifestyle

<p>Congrats on surviving another week! The <a href="https://www.someecards.com/news/news/trump-tweet-yovanovitch-schiff-impeachment-hearing/">impeachment probe</a> went public, and diplomats delivered <a href="https://www.vox.com/2019/11/14/20964668/impeachment-hearing-pizzazz-nbc-reuters">varying degrees of pizazz.</a> Roger Stone was found <a href="https://www.vox.com/2019/11/15/20964909/roger-stone-trial-verdict">guilty on all counts,</a> which means that <a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2019/01/25/roger-stone-nixon-back-tattoo-netflix-film-facts/2676071002/">Nixon&#39;s face</a> is finally going to jail. Plus, Disney+ debuted, and millennials can finally watch their childhood favorites without leaving their parents&#39; homes.</p><p>Enjoy these great jokes between episodes of <em>Lizzie McGuire</em>!</p><p><span style="font-family: BlinkMacSystemFont, -apple-system, &quot;Segoe UI&quot;, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, &quot;Fira Sans&quot;, &quot;Droid Sans&quot;, &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: -0.02em;">1.</span></p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Now that&#39;s its live I can finally announce my new show on Disney + &quot;Can Get It&quot; the show where we look at the hottest animated characters and vote on which one we will let smash. Our first ep is the &quot;Fox Edition&quot; where walt&#39;s finest foxes battle on who can rearrange these guts.💦 <a href="https://t.co/UdVhNiQOuh">pic.twitter.com/UdVhNiQOuh</a></p>&mdash; Whacktose Intolerant (@MillyTamarez) <a href="https://twitter.com/MillyTamarez/status/1194297347393675269?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 12, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>2.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">🎶 I waaant something else/To get me through this 🎶 <a href="https://t.co/P8fMalmgxF">pic.twitter.com/P8fMalmgxF</a></p>&mdash; Bess Kalb (@bessbell) <a href="https://twitter.com/bessbell/status/1194178655351476229?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 12, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>3.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">when you: <br><br>* hate on someone<br>* make fun of a stranger<br>* tear them down<br><br>what are you really accomplishing?<br><br>you&#39;re making your friends laugh, and that&#39;s the best feeling in the world</p>&mdash; lauren (@LLW902) <a href="https://twitter.com/LLW902/status/1194038073291612160?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 11, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>4.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">To my writer friends. Just keep going. I was rejected over 48 times before I got my 49th rejection.</p>&mdash; Nathalie Antonia (@natsantonia) <a href="https://twitter.com/natsantonia/status/1193946084864921600?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 11, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>5.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">writers: no need to write this idea down. I&#39;ll definitely remember it later.<br><br>our brains twenty minutes later: ..........<br><br>brain: <a href="https://t.co/ZSZlvL1xWG">pic.twitter.com/ZSZlvL1xWG</a></p>&mdash; Rebecca Renner (@RebeccaRennerFL) <a href="https://twitter.com/RebeccaRennerFL/status/1193211944892850176?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 9, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>6.</p><oembed>https://twitter.com/crissles/status/1195371712268947456?s=20</oembed><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>7.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My ex continued to use my Netflix login for a while after we broke up—and I let him, because it satisfied me to know just how many episodes of great British baking show a day it was taking him to get over me</p>&mdash; Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) <a href="https://twitter.com/emily_murnane/status/1193971070707126272?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 11, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>8.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">centipede: *walking by*<br><br>Ariel: whoa what’d you trade</p>&mdash; jo (@WhaJoTalkinBout) <a href="https://twitter.com/WhaJoTalkinBout/status/1195158708642340865?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 15, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>9.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Spending money drunk: DRINKS FOR EVERYONE ON ME! MONEY IS A CONSTRUCT! I&#39;LL PAY OFF MY CREDIT CARD WHEN I&#39;M DEAD!<br>Spending money sober: I&#39;ll send you each a venmo request for $4.67, which is your portion of the fries</p>&mdash; May Wilkerson (@shutupmay) <a href="https://twitter.com/shutupmay/status/1195104367440908288?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 14, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>10.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">yoga is a lot like sex in the sense that I don’t know whats really happening but I’m sweating and everyone else seems to be enjoying it more than me</p>&mdash; lili michelle (@lilsmichelle) <a href="https://twitter.com/lilsmichelle/status/1194986345158107137?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 14, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>11.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Do we really need Mercury? Like it’s forever in retrograde &amp; does absolutely nothing for our social lives. 2 straight weeks of madness, everything that could go wrong went wrong. Twitter do ur thing &amp; cancel Mercury!!</p>&mdash; Sydnee Washington (@Justsydnyc) <a href="https://twitter.com/Justsydnyc/status/1193917517804294144?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 11, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>12.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Me: Why would anyone play the lottery? Don’t they know how statistics work?<br>Also me: *dates men*</p>&mdash; cathy humes (@CrappyFumes) <a href="https://twitter.com/CrappyFumes/status/1195371540201660416?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 15, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>13.</p><oembed>https://twitter.com/geekylonglegs/status/1195094098291675138?s=20</oembed><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>14.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Can u imagine getting married and having a family and staying in love until u die, then waiting in the afterlife for your wife to join you and she finally dies and ditches u for a dude she knew for three days on a boat instead?? Anyway I’d give Titanic a 9/10</p>&mdash; Saddington 2 ✈️🥺 (@2Saddington) <a href="https://twitter.com/2Saddington/status/1194386675092340737?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 12, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>15.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">How do I date if I hate using dating apps? “Go out” in “public?” Fuckin “talk to people?” Demented. Not to mention illegal</p>&mdash; caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) <a href="https://twitter.com/caitiedelaney/status/1194455024325156864?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 13, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>16.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">This is the official Length of times:<br>2010-2014 - a decade<br>2015 - five years<br>2016 - hasn’t ended<br>2017-2019 - not possible to be quantified in years, not sure how you would even think that years would be a helpful way to think about them</p>&mdash; Ariana Lenarsky (@aardvarsk) <a href="https://twitter.com/aardvarsk/status/1194504653343322113?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 13, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>17.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">as soon as i&#39;m done unlearning years of internalized misogyny it&#39;s over for you dumb dumb sluts</p>&mdash; lana schwartz (@_lanabelle) <a href="https://twitter.com/_lanabelle/status/1194057640441192450?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 12, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>18.</p><oembed>https://twitter.com/CaitlinRuppert/status/1194649119312224256?s=20</oembed><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>19.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">business plan:<br><br>1. get an IUD<br>2. let him hit it raw<br>3. “i want you to cum in me baby”<br>4. call him next day &amp; ask for plan b <br>5. stack that 54 dollars<br>6. find a new man<br>7. repeat</p>&mdash; AIDA (@shutupaida) <a href="https://twitter.com/shutupaida/status/1193392641817186304?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 10, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>20.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">john legend reading y’all’s reactions to his people cover <a href="https://t.co/FlHhXgfeud">pic.twitter.com/FlHhXgfeud</a></p>&mdash; hot girl midsommar (@verymimi) <a href="https://twitter.com/verymimi/status/1194708097551552512?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 13, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>21.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">“i remember...when parties were more than just photoshoots...”- me, eating 4 cigarettes &amp; pouring a martini into my purse in the corner of ur event</p>&mdash; Catherine Cohen (@catcohen) <a href="https://twitter.com/catcohen/status/1194995722376110082?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 14, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>22.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">when i don’t participate in the discourse but make sure to like the tweets that i agree with <a href="https://t.co/ofhRvziLtF">https://t.co/ofhRvziLtF</a></p>&mdash; abby monteil (@abbyemonteil) <a href="https://twitter.com/abbyemonteil/status/1194834330092265472?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 14, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>23.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">generalised anxiety disorder <a href="https://t.co/9Xe4JycuKw">https://t.co/9Xe4JycuKw</a></p>&mdash; electoral college student (@AliceAvizandum) <a href="https://twitter.com/AliceAvizandum/status/1195316907194376192?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 15, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>24.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">most influential people of the decade<br><br>2010: <br>2011: <br>2012: <br>2013: <br>2014: <br>2015: <br>2016: <br>2017:<br>2018: <br>2019: baby who went as “pants” for Halloween</p>&mdash; Tabir Akhter (@tabir) <a href="https://twitter.com/tabir/status/1194765410303971329?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 13, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>25.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿<br>👉🏿👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👈🏿<br>👉🏿👉🏾👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👈🏾👈🏿<br>👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿<br>👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👉🏼👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👈🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿<br>👉🏿👉🏾how social anxiety feels👈🏿<br>👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👉🏼👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻👈🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿<br>👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿<br>👉🏿👉🏾👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👈🏾👈🏿<br>👉🏿👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👈🏿<br>👉🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👈🏿</p>&mdash; 𝕤𝕦𝕟𝕗𝕝𝕠𝕨𝕖𝕣 (@spinubzilla) <a href="https://twitter.com/spinubzilla/status/1195197593132961793?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 15, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

25 tweets from women this week that will make you smile (not that we're telling women to smile).

Congrats on surviving another week! The impeachment probe went public, and diplomats delivered varying degrees of pizazz. Roger Stone was found guilty on all counts, which means that Nixon&#39;s face is finally going to jail. Plus, Disney+ debuted, and millennials can finally watch their childhood favorites without leaving their parents&#39; homes.Enjoy these great jokes between episodes of Lizzie McGuire!1.Now that&#39;s its live I can finally announce my new show on Disney + &quot;Can Get It&quot; the show where we look at the hottest animated characters and vote on which one we will let smash. Our first ep is the &quot;Fox Edition&quot; where walt&#39;s finest foxes battle on who can rearrange these guts.💦 pic.twitter.com/UdVhNiQOuh&mdash; Whacktose Intolerant (@MillyTamarez) November 12, 2019 2.🎶 I waaant something else/To get me through this 🎶 pic.twitter.com/P8fMalmgxF&mdash; Bess Kalb (@bessbell) November 12, 2019 3.when you: * hate on someone* make fun of a stranger* tear them downwhat are you really accomplishing?you&#39;re making your friends laugh, and that&#39;s the best feeling in the world&mdash; lauren (@LLW902) November 11, 2019 4.To my writer friends. Just keep going. I was rejected over 48 times before I got my 49th rejection.&mdash; Nathalie Antonia (@natsantonia) November 11, 2019 5.writers: no need to write this idea down. I&#39;ll definitely remember it later.our brains twenty minutes later: ..........brain: pic.twitter.com/ZSZlvL1xWG&mdash; Rebecca Renner (@RebeccaRennerFL) November 9, 2019 6.https://twitter.com/crissles/status/1195371712268947456?s=207.My ex continued to use my Netflix login for a while after we broke up—and I let him, because it satisfied me to know just how many episodes of great British baking show a day it was taking him to get over me&mdash; Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) November 11, 2019 8.centipede: *walking by*Ariel: whoa what’d you trade&mdash; jo (@WhaJoTalkinBout) November 15, 2019 9.Spending money drunk: DRINKS FOR EVERYONE ON ME! MONEY IS A CONSTRUCT! I&#39;LL PAY OFF MY CREDIT CARD WHEN I&#39;M DEAD!Spending money sober: I&#39;ll send you each a venmo request for $4.67, which is your portion of the fries&mdash; May Wilkerson (@shutupmay) November 14, 2019 10.yoga is a lot like sex in the sense that I don’t know whats really happening but I’m sweating and everyone else seems to be enjoying it more than me&mdash; lili michelle (@lilsmichelle) November 14, 2019 11.Do we really need Mercury? Like it’s forever in retrograde &amp; does absolutely nothing for our social lives. 2 straight weeks of madness, everything that could go wrong went wrong. Twitter do ur thing &amp; cancel Mercury!!&mdash; Sydnee Washington (@Justsydnyc) November 11, 2019 12.Me: Why would anyone play the lottery? Don’t they know how statistics work?Also me: *dates men*&mdash; cathy humes (@CrappyFumes) November 15, 2019 13.https://twitter.com/geekylonglegs/status/1195094098291675138?s=2014.Can u imagine getting married and having a family and staying in love until u die, then waiting in the afterlife for your wife to join you and she finally dies and ditches u for a dude she knew for three days on a boat instead?? Anyway I’d give Titanic a 9/10&mdash; Saddington 2 ✈️🥺 (@2Saddington) November 12, 2019 15.How do I date if I hate using dating apps? “Go out” in “public?” Fuckin “talk to people?” Demented. Not to mention illegal&mdash; caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) November 13, 2019 16.This is the official Length of times:2010-2014 - a decade2015 - five years2016 - hasn’t ended2017-2019 - not possible to be quantified in years, not sure how you would even think that years would be a helpful way to think about them&mdash; Ariana Lenarsky (@aardvarsk) November 13, 2019 17.as soon as i&#39;m done unlearning years of internalized misogyny it&#39;s over for you dumb dumb sluts&mdash; lana schwartz (@_lanabelle) November 12, 2019 18.https://twitter.com/CaitlinRuppert/status/1194649119312224256?s=2019.business plan:1. get an IUD2. let him hit it raw3. “i want you to cum in me baby”4. call him next day &amp; ask for plan b 5. stack that 54 dollars6. find a new man7. repeat&mdash; AIDA (@shutupaida) November 10, 2019 20.john legend reading y’all’s reactions to his people cover pic.twitter.com/FlHhXgfeud&mdash; hot girl midsommar (@verymimi) November 13, 2019 21.“i remember...when parties were more than just photoshoots...”- me, eating 4 cigarettes &amp; pouring a martini into my purse in the corner of ur event&mdash; Catherine Cohen (@catcohen) November 14, 2019 22.when i don’t participate in the discourse but make sure to like the tweets that i agree with https://t.co/ofhRvziLtF&mdash; abby monteil (@abbyemonteil) November 14, 2019 23.generalised anxiety disorder https://t.co/9Xe4JycuKw&mdash; electoral college student (@AliceAvizandum) November 15, 2019 24.most influential people of the decade2010: 2011: 2012: 2013: 2014: 2015: 2016: 2017:2018: 2019: baby who went as “pants” for Halloween&mdash; Tabir Akhter (@tabir) November 13, 2019 25.👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👉🏿👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👈🏿👉🏿👉🏾👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👈🏾👈🏿👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👉🏼👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👈🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿👉🏿👉🏾how social anxiety feels👈🏿👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👉🏼👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻👈🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿👉🏿👉🏾👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👈🏾👈🏿👉🏿👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👈🏿👉🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👈🏿&mdash; 𝕤𝕦𝕟𝕗𝕝𝕠𝕨𝕖𝕣 (@spinubzilla) November 15, 2019 

Congrats on surviving another week! The impeachment probe went public, and diplomats delivered varying degrees of pizazz. Roger Stone was found guilty on all counts, which means that Nixon&#39;s face is finally going to jail. Plus, Disney+...