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Groomsman asks if he's wrong to request a new bridesmaid after awkward date.

Groomsman asks if he's wrong to request a new bridesmaid after awkward date.


While most single people hope for a surprisingly romantic evening when they attend a wedding, the chances of sparks flying with the bridesmaid across the dance floor aren't guaranteed...

So, when a frustrated groomsman decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about his uncomfortable situation walking down the aisle with a bad first date, people were quick to help deem a verdict.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for demanding a different bridesmaid at my friend's wedding?

So my (26M) two best friends Adam and Whitney are getting married this fall. We have been tight since HS, with the three of us always running together. I was asked to be in the wedding party. Obviously I’m ecstatic for my friends. But here is the issue. They paired me up with the one bridesmaid I’m not a fan of. This girl named Brooke (27F).

Me and Brooke met each other a few years ago. She was Whitney’s volleyball teammate in college. She moved into our area and we started hanging out. She seemed like a great person at first. Funny, down to earth and very athletic. Whitney is the one who set us up. I wasn’t all that confident in the situation. Because our height difference was a little extreme for me (I’m 5’8 and she’s 6 foot).

But I decided to at least go on the date. We had a very nice time. But that is when I learned what Brooke did. She was a cashier at a tanning salon. I’m looking for someone who has a legit career path. I’m in financial planning and have always wanted someone who makes similar to me.

So at the end of the date I told her that I didn’t think it would work out between us. And we should prolly just skip the movie we had planned. She asked why. I was polite and told her that I didn’t see our paths aligning.

Well she kept badgering me and wanted to know what was the real reason. I told her that I just wanted someone who had a defined career path and made good money. I worded it very lightly.

Over the next few weeks Whitney hardly responded to me. As did a few of my other friends. I find out that Brooke told them a totally different version of the events. That I abandoned her on our date because she was poor. Which isn’t at all what happened. She drove to the restaurant.

We just didn’t go to the movie afterwards. She told everyone I was shallow and completely reworded what I said. I was able to explain my side of things and show Whitney the texts. And we made up. But I haven’t wanted anything to do with Brooke since.

Now I’m paired up with her for the wedding. Which wouldn’t be a big deal besides the fact we have a lot of responsibilities together. We have to form a dance and some other stuff. I just don’t want to do it with her. I asked Whitney to switch me to a different girl. And she refused. Saying she wants it this way.

I’m halfway convinced they are doing it to mess with me. Adam understands my position but is telling me to just go along with it. I don’t want to cause a thing here. But I’m nervous they want to f*ck with me because of the height difference or something. I’m thinking about asking to just be a guest and see if that changes things for Whitney. Because it’s really my only leverage here. AITA?

This man should absolutely have to endure some awkward dancing after his shallow move...

Judging someone's current job without even considering what else they have going on or the potential of your partnership is pretty gross behavior. Walking down the aisle with someone and teaming up for some basic wedding tasks is anything a mature adult should be able to do with someone. It sounds like he was hoping his bridesmaid match would be his future wife who also happened to be independently wealthy and shorter than he is?

Of course, people were more than eager to weigh in on this bridal party drama. Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say:

angelaelle said:

YTA (You're the As*hole). Why do you think you have any leverage? You're not in any position to make demands at someone else's wedding. Either deal with it or don't go.

Material-Aardvark736 said:

YTA. Brooke’s account of how that date went was completely accurate. You did abandon her on the date for being poor, and probably for being taller than you as well. You should step down from this wedding so SHE doesn’t have to subject herself to YOU. She’s being an incredibly generous friend to the wedding couple by tolerating your presence at all.

poetic_justice987 said:

YTA. You have this backward. You are not being saddled with Brooke for this —she’s being saddled with you. You are allowed to be shallow and pretentious, but stop pretending you’re not. Brooke is being gracious—I’m sure none of the other bridesmaids wanted to walk with you either.

OrangeCubit said:

YTA - yeah you should be embarrassed for being such a judgemental as*hole towards her. I wouldn’t want to face her either if I were you, and it is a testament to the maturity of this woman that SHE isn’t the one refusing to go anywhere near you after how rude you were.

So, there you have it!

Everyone agreed unanimously here that this groomsman is 100%, fully in the wrong here to request a different match and it's shocking that the bride and groom haven't just kicked him out of the wedding entirely. Good luck, everyone!

Sources: Reddit
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