People should be allowed to wear what they want. Unless it's a formal event with a dress code, you should probably adhere to it. What happens if someone breaks the dress code and upsets your partner. Do you defend the honor of the code, or do you let people do what they want?
AITA for defending my dad's girlfriend for wearing a bikini to my fiancée's bridal shower?
My dad has been dating 'Tiffany' for a year and a half. I'm not going to lie, and she is honestly really annoying. I recently got engaged to my GF of three years, 'Melissa,' and we are currently wedding planning.
Her mom and MOH recently threw her a bridal shower. As an olive branch, Tiffany and my mom were invited. For some background, Melissa does struggle with insecurities and self-esteem. She is also very much into picture-perfect things, which sometimes results in anxiety.
She also hates how the women in my family dress. She gets it isn't her business, and she would never say anything, but she has confided to me that she hates it. For the bridal shower, most of the women wore sundresses. Tiffany wore something which looked to me like a ruffly crop top and a matching skirt. I thought it looked fine. She did mention she was leaving early because she had plans.
During the shower, Melissa realized that Tiffany was wearing a bikini because the skirt was pretty see-through, and she could make out the bottoms. She asked her but tried to laugh it off, and Tiffany admitted it was a bikini because she was going out on my dad's boat after and wouldn't have time to change.
My future MIL asked Tiffany if she found it a bit weird. Tiffany said no; she thought it passed as a crop top. Melissa and her bridesmaids went off and talked about it, and Melissa decided that she was offended but declined her mom's offer to kick Tiffany out. When Tiffany was leaving, she said goodbye, and my fiancée said, 'I hope you had fun, and hope you found the attention you were looking for.'
I heard this through my mom, sister, and then Melissa. At this point, I was sick of hearing about it, and I was annoyed because my mom was trying to make it into a much bigger issue and act like I shouldn't marry Melissa over it, which I promptly shut down.
When I talked to Melissa, she was heated and called Tiffany an attention wh*re and a showoff. She asked if my mom had said anything because I guess my mom was rolling her eyes at her during the shower. I told her I talked to my mom and told her to shut up. Melissa then asked me if I hated Tiffany. I said that I didn't hate her and thought her outfit was fine. It just looked like a crop top, and if that ruined the day for Melissa, that is something Melissa needs to work on.
That upset Melissa; she felt I was brushing her feelings aside. She said I should talk to my dad, and I told her I wasn't going to, which was embarrassing. She stormed off and is now refusing to talk about it.
YTA (You're the a**hole).
Your dad's girlfriend wore a bikini to a bridal shower.
It doesn't matter how liberal your views are unless the host has specified it's okay; IT'S NOT OKAY.
Double YTA if Tiffany knew your Fiancee wouldn't like it and did it anyway.
A bikini would be an inappropriate outfit for a bridal shower unless it were hosted at a beach/pool.
Dad's girlfriend was showing off. It would have been simple to wear a sundress over the bikini. Your fiancee has every right to be upset at it.
YTA. Wearing a bathing suit to a semi-formal affair is just rude.
If she didn’t have 2 minutes to change (rolling my eyes here), she could have put on her bathing suit and thrown a dress over it. Easy solution.'