Man asks if he was wrong to tell wife their wedding was ruined by their children.
Children at a wedding is a controversial topic. Kids need to be supervised, and weddings usually have very few adults in a state where watching children isn't irresponsible. Generally, though, if you bring your child to a wedding, you're the one watching the child. What would you do if you wanted to have your children at your wedding, but your partner didn't want them there?
On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I The A**hole Subreddit, a man asks if he was wrong for telling his wife it's her fault she didn't have fun at their wedding because she brought their children.
AITA for telling my wife it's her fault she didn't have fun at our wedding?
Guess two isn't that terrible.
I met my wife almost two years ago through some mutual friends. When I met her, she was heavily pregnant with her ex-boyfriend's child, but her ex wanted nothing to do with her and the kid and dumped her. We got together a bit after she gave birth, and I loved the baby like my own.
The kid has just turned 2. Later, she got pregnant with our child and gave birth six months ago. I had proposed to her during the pregnancy and started planning the wedding immediately.
Checking IDs at this wedding!
While planning the wedding I made it clear how I'd like a kid-free wedding but my wife was against it because she loves the vibes kids bring to weddings.
She's also from the Balkans so having kids at weddings is very important to her because weddings are usually family oriented in her culture. We eventually came to a compromise and only allowed kids over 10.
Why would you want your kids at your wedding it's not like they're family?
She wanted to bring our kids, but I told her I was against that because who will take care of them? She said our parents will help us out and I told her I am not going to ask my parents to babysit instead of having fun at my wedding.
She said I'm being really unfair not trying to find a solution with her and how important it is to her to include our kids in the wedding. I told her she's the one who wants them there so it's on her to find a solution.
The bride's parents are here for a good time not a...well never mind.
Her parents had said they'd help her out with the kids but they ended up enjoying themselves during our wedding last weekend. My wife barely danced and got up at all because she was caring for the kids and running after them the entire time.
She complained about how everyone else enjoyed her wedding but she didn't even get to dance more than twice. I told her it was her fault and she shouldn't have brought the kids in the first place especially the 2-year-old because she was the one causing the most trouble during the wedding.
A hot start to that marriage.
My parents also scolded her and told her she was very entitled to expect them to babysit the kids while they were having fun at their only son's wedding. My wife said we are all TAs for not trying to see her point and how we all cared more about our own fun and comfort, and we tossed the bride to the side, and she feels nobody gave a shit about her the entire time. AITA?
Golden-Bea has some follow-ups.
INFO: Who was supposed to watch the kids if they hadn't attended the wedding? Couldn't you have arranged for that babysitter to watch the kids at the wedding?
arisyl wants to know if OP knows how to problem solve.
INFO: Why couldn't you have proposed a real compromise? You knew your solution wasn't going to be good enough. Your wife is right, you didn't care about her feelings.
triciamilitia thinks there's more under the water!
I bet this is just the tip of the iceberg with you. Back-to-back pregnancies and punishing her like a child? Unless you were personal friends with every single service personnel involved in the wedding, you have no excuse to refuse a babysitter YTA (You're the A**hole)