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<p>Another day, another wedding drama that threatens to tear a family apart.</p><p>The latest moral conundrum on<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cw8bbi/aita_for_privately_proposing_at_my_sisters_wedding/"> &quot;Am I The A-hole?&quot;</a> sees a guy wondering whether or not he is in the wrong for privately proposing to his girlfriend while at his sister&#39;s wedding.</p><p>The good news: she said yes. The bad news: his sister is pissed, because there are many different ways to steal somebody&#39;s thunder.</p><p>Let&#39;s go to the primary source: <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/we_solemnly_swear/">we_solemnly_swear</a>&#39;s post.</p><h2>He sets the scene: a beautiful wedding with a beautiful view.</h2><blockquote> <p>About a month ago, my sister had an outdoor wedding at a gorgeous hotel overlooking the coast. The ceremony and reception themselves were in the lawn/garden that the hotel rented out specifically for such events, but my fiancee and I also had booked a room in the hotel for the night, which itself was set a short distance apart from there.</p> <p>My now fianc&eacute;e (25F) and I (25M) are both very uncomfortable with large crowds, so some time into the wedding, I let my sister know that we were retreating to the hotel for a short breather. We had discovered a small terrace in the hotel the previous day that had an amazing view of the sunset, and we wanted to go there to have 10 mins to ourselves.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Here&#39;s where things get romantic...and dicey.</h2><blockquote> <p>We are both huge romantics (seriously, we will make you retch) and LOVE the ocean and the sunset. For our first date, I borrowed the keys of my friend&#39;s apartment building&#39;s rooftop and set up an picnic and a playlist with a sunset view. Literally every anniversary of ours has involved a private place to watch the sun set over the ocean.</p> <p>The view from the terrace was absolutely spectacular and the moment was so perfect that I couldn&#39;t help myself. It was completely spontaneous. I didn&#39;t even have a ring. I just got on one knee and asked her then and there to marry me AND SHE SAID YES!!</p> </blockquote><h2>The Original Poster got preemptively defensive, explaining that there were no witnesses to their emotional moment.</h2><blockquote> <p>No one saw us. The terrace was empty and the garden in which the reception was held wasn&#39;t in our field of view. We were both buzzing with excitement but we both agreed to hold off telling anyone else because this was my sister&#39;s special day.</p> <p>Last night, we had dinner with my family, and my fianc&eacute;e and I broke the news to my family that we were engaged. Everyone was obviously delighted and asked us to narrate the story of how I or she proposed.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>After announcing the news to the family, his sister/the bride was pissed.</h2><blockquote> <p>My sister was FURIOUS to find out I had proposed during her wedding. She pulled me aside after dinner and completely blew up at me. She accused me of trying to steal the attention from her wedding and I told her that we had intentionally kept the news to ourselves till now to avoid doing exactly that. She said it didn&#39;t matter because now everyone would remember her wedding as the day I proposed anyway.</p> <p>I honestly disagree because no one really witnessed my proposal, so it wouldn&#39;t really be part of their wedding memories. We didn&#39;t tell anyone we got engaged till now and I don&#39;t really feel that anyone will associate her wedding with our engagement at this point because by now it&#39;s been long enough that they should feel like two separate events. My sister doesn&#39;t see it my way and has refused to speak to me since last night. [Am I the a-hole]?</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>The debate in the comments was quite rigorous.</p><h2>The prosecution, represented here by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sarcasticsynesthete/">sarcasticsynesthete</a>, decried the move as selfish.</h2><blockquote> <p>[You&#39;re the a-hole]. I think that people have become extremely selfish when it comes to weddings, but it was her day. I don&rsquo;t think it&rsquo;s unreasonable for her to be mad that you not only snuck off, but you&rsquo;ve basically hijacked her wedding story and made it all about you. Whether you intended to or not, you made her kind of an afterthought, and I think you should apologize.</p> </blockquote><h2>The defense, as best articulated by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/GeorgeBird0457/">GeorgeBird0457</a>, accused his sister of being a Bridezilla.</h2><blockquote> <p>I understand that weddings are special but this didn&rsquo;t happen at the wedding in front of guests, nor did anyone find out until a month after the fact. [In my opinion] people who get upset over scenarios like this are the same people who seem to think that ONLY they got married on that day. Statistically speaking OP&rsquo;s sister shared her wedding with 6,200 other people. Did they steal her thunder too? No! Because she didn&rsquo;t know about it and she didn&rsquo;t know about the engagement until after the fact either.</p> <p>It&rsquo;s one thing to hijack a microphone during the cake cutting , it&rsquo;s another to do something privately and keep it a secret until an appropriate time. [Not the A-hole] OP and congrats!</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>The OP included an update to say that he now understands <em>why </em>his sister might have been upset by the move, and that he will privately apologize for the private proposal:</h2><blockquote> <p>I did not realize that my sister might be upset because she lost <em>my</em> attention on her wedding day, even if she didn&#39;t lose anyone else&#39;s. That day was supposed to be about her and I understand how she might feel abandoned in a way. First thing tomorrow, I will be calling her to apologize.</p> </blockquote><p>Thunder-stealing or no thunder-stealing, a proposal at someone else&#39;s wedding is hack. It&#39;s like if you were putting on a production of <em>West Side Story </em>at your high school, and instead of building your own set, you go to a neighboring school that had recently done the musical and put on the show there.</p><p>(And yes, the president&#39;s latest <a href="https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1166723477879087104?s=20">dumb tweets about Puerto Rico</a> are what got me thinking about <em>West Side Story</em>.)</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Bride upset with brother for secretly proposing to his girlfriend at her wedding.

Another day, another wedding drama that threatens to tear a family apart.The latest moral conundrum on &quot;Am I The A-hole?&quot; sees a guy wondering whether or not he is in the wrong for privately proposing to his girlfriend while at his sister&#39;s wedding.The good news: she said yes. The bad news: his sister is pissed, because there are many different ways to steal somebody&#39;s thunder.Let&#39;s go to the primary source: we_solemnly_swear&#39;s post.He sets the scene: a beautiful wedding with a beautiful view. About a month ago, my sister had an outdoor wedding at a gorgeous hotel overlooking the coast. The ceremony and reception themselves were in the lawn/garden that the hotel rented out specifically for such events, but my fiancee and I also had booked a room in the hotel for the night, which itself was set a short distance apart from there. My now fianc&eacute;e (25F) and I (25M) are both very uncomfortable with large crowds, so some time into the wedding, I let my sister know that we were retreating to the hotel for a short breather. We had discovered a small terrace in the hotel the previous day that had an amazing view of the sunset, and we wanted to go there to have 10 mins to ourselves. Here&#39;s where things get romantic...and dicey. We are both huge romantics (seriously, we will make you retch) and LOVE the ocean and the sunset. For our first date, I borrowed the keys of my friend&#39;s apartment building&#39;s rooftop and set up an picnic and a playlist with a sunset view. Literally every anniversary of ours has involved a private place to watch the sun set over the ocean. The view from the terrace was absolutely spectacular and the moment was so perfect that I couldn&#39;t help myself. It was completely spontaneous. I didn&#39;t even have a ring. I just got on one knee and asked her then and there to marry me AND SHE SAID YES!! The Original Poster got preemptively defensive, explaining that there were no witnesses to their emotional moment. No one saw us. The terrace was empty and the garden in which the reception was held wasn&#39;t in our field of view. We were both buzzing with excitement but we both agreed to hold off telling anyone else because this was my sister&#39;s special day. Last night, we had dinner with my family, and my fianc&eacute;e and I broke the news to my family that we were engaged. Everyone was obviously delighted and asked us to narrate the story of how I or she proposed. After announcing the news to the family, his sister/the bride was pissed. My sister was FURIOUS to find out I had proposed during her wedding. She pulled me aside after dinner and completely blew up at me. She accused me of trying to steal the attention from her wedding and I told her that we had intentionally kept the news to ourselves till now to avoid doing exactly that. She said it didn&#39;t matter because now everyone would remember her wedding as the day I proposed anyway. I honestly disagree because no one really witnessed my proposal, so it wouldn&#39;t really be part of their wedding memories. We didn&#39;t tell anyone we got engaged till now and I don&#39;t really feel that anyone will associate her wedding with our engagement at this point because by now it&#39;s been long enough that they should feel like two separate events. My sister doesn&#39;t see it my way and has refused to speak to me since last night. [Am I the a-hole]? The debate in the comments was quite rigorous.The prosecution, represented here by sarcasticsynesthete, decried the move as selfish. [You&#39;re the a-hole]. I think that people have become extremely selfish when it comes to weddings, but it was her day. I don&rsquo;t think it&rsquo;s unreasonable for her to be mad that you not only snuck off, but you&rsquo;ve basically hijacked her wedding story and made it all about you. Whether you intended to or not, you made her kind of an afterthought, and I think you should apologize. The defense, as best articulated by GeorgeBird0457, accused his sister of being a Bridezilla. I understand that weddings are special but this didn&rsquo;t happen at the wedding in front of guests, nor did anyone find out until a month after the fact. [In my opinion] people who get upset over scenarios like this are the same people who seem to think that ONLY they got married on that day. Statistically speaking OP&rsquo;s sister shared her wedding with 6,200 other people. Did they steal her thunder too? No! Because she didn&rsquo;t know about it and she didn&rsquo;t know about the engagement until after the fact either. It&rsquo;s one thing to hijack a microphone during the cake cutting , it&rsquo;s another to do something privately and keep it a secret until an appropriate time. [Not the A-hole] OP and congrats! The OP included an update to say that he now understands why his sister might have been upset by the move, and that he will privately apologize for the private proposal: I did not realize that my sister might be upset because she lost my attention on her wedding day, even if she didn&#39;t lose anyone else&#39;s. That day was supposed to be about her and I understand how she might feel abandoned in a way. First thing tomorrow, I will be calling her to apologize. Thunder-stealing or no thunder-stealing, a proposal at someone else&#39;s wedding is hack. It&#39;s like if you were putting on a production of West Side Story at your high school, and instead of building your own set, you go to a neighboring school that had recently done the musical and put on the show there.(And yes, the president&#39;s latest dumb tweets about Puerto Rico are what got me thinking about West Side Story.)

Another day, another wedding drama that threatens to tear a family apart.  The latest moral conundrum on &quot;Am I The A-hole?&quot; sees a guy wondering whether or not he is in the wrong for privately proposing to his girlfriend while at...