Woman wins lottery; fiancé pressures her to pay for his child's college; she refuses.
Money has a way of drumming up relationship conflict.
Whether you're struggling to make ends meet, or find yourself swimming in a sudden windfall, conversations around money can be a hair trigger for big feelings. This dynamic is multiplied when a financial shift as dramatic as a lottery winning is thrown into the mix.
To this very point, in a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she's wrong for not giving her fiance's daughter college money after winning the lottery.
She wrote:
AITA for not giving my fiancés daughter money when I won the lottery?
All names have been changed. I (35, female) am engaged to my fiancé Brian (37, male). We’ve been together two years. He has a daughter Ashley 14 from a previous relationship. I am currently pregnant with our daughter. I like to play the lottery sometimes. Usually just scratch tickets. This time I won 50,000. Of course, I was very excited. I decided to take the money and put it away for my future child’s future.
I told Brian about the money and that it was being put away for our baby’s future. He said we should take some of the money for Ashley since she’s going to be graduating high school in a few years. Brian and his ex do have a college fund set up for Ashley but not enough for all of it.
I let him know this money would be being used for our child since it was won by me and I’d be the one paying taxes on it since we’re not married yet. I let him know once the baby was born it would go into a trust that no one had access to. Brian and Ashley think I’m being ridiculous since the unborn baby would have more money than her set aside already and that it’s unfair.
I explained I understood how they felt but I think I’m doing the right thing. Now my mother in law is also pressuring me because Ashley went to her house feeling upset saying the baby is getting preferred treatment already. AITA?
Edit: I see a lot of people asking how Ashley knows about the money. She walked into the house while we were talking about it and overheard our conversation. We didn’t hear her come inside. Ashley then thought this meant “we” won the money as in her father and I since were engaged.
The internet did not hold back.
iranisculpable wrote:
NTA.
Get a prenup.
one_night_on_mars wrote:
NTA. Ashley has two parents to pay for her, your fiance and her mum. Your baby has two parents to pay for it, you and your fiance. You are not married to your fiance, your money is not his money, his money is not your money.
Sav-M wrote:
NTA. I actually think you're doing something very smart and considerate for the future of your future child. You have in your hands an opportunity that not everyone receives in their entire life and you are acting in a very mature way. You are not spending it on vanities or anything else you can think of.
It's going to sound cruel, but realistically she's not your daughter, she has her mother and father who have had the opportunity to prepare for several years for their college fund, it's not your responsibility. Your responsibility is to think about the future of your child. Just because he's not born doesn't mean you can't save that money. The best wishes for your pregnancy and for the future of your baby 🤍
Impressive-Ad-2132 wrote:
Definitely put the money away before you get married to him. Financial abuse is real and this is a red flag in that respect. NTA you won the money, not your fiancés kid.
It's crystal clear to the internet, OP should not only listen to her gut, but she should use this moment to consider the nature of her relationship.