Living with your parents as an adult has definite pros and cons. Pro, you save money. Con, your parents will force you to live under their rules. If you can live with their rules, then maybe it's worth it for a bit.
They write:
When I was a kid, my parents used the 'my home, my rules.' Period. I was told I could make the rules when I had my own home and pay my bills. It drove me crazy, but I can't argue with that logic.
Years later, as an adult paying my bills, my parents visited and wanted to stay with me. My mom smokes and expected to be able to do it in my home. Nope.
I told her that just like when I was younger, they must follow MY house rules, including no smoking. I had chronic bronchitis as a child until I moved out of the house. If looks could kill, I'd be long dead.
When I had my kid, I told her that she couldn't smoke near my baby and had to change her clothes if she wanted to hold a baby. She knew I was serious and gave up 40+ years of smoking.
The internet has some pretty good stories of their own.
Years ago, when my brother bought his first house, we met there for Christmas that year. Mom (in her late 50s/early 60s) kept getting up and turning the thermostat up. The 3rd or 4th time my brother turned it back down, he asked who kept turning it up. My mom said, 'I do; I'm cold.'
My brother said, 'Then put on a sweater. Isn't that what you always told us?' She'll never visit my house, so I'll never have the satisfaction, but I sure savored my brother's.
USAF6F171 says:
My Dad used to say that when he quit (nearly 20-year habit), it was because I crawled up in his lap as a three years old and said, 'Daddy, you stink.' Cold Turkey. I got 35 more years with him, so WIN.
My mother was the same way, even when I paid rent. I should have sent her a 10-99 to ensure she claimed it as income. But she got old and sick, and I made it very clear that yes, I had a house, and yes, I would always have room for her, but it was my house, my rules, and I would be as compromising as she was.
Oddly enough, she never opted to stay with me. Just as well as it would not have been pretty or long-lasting.
TomB0mbadil says:
Growing up, the thermostat was outside my dad’s bedroom door, and he wouldn’t turn down the temperature even on hot Florida nights. I was told to turn up my fan, use a lighter or no sheet, or deal with it. I’d try to sneak over and turn it down when I woke up drenched in sweat, but he’d either wake up the second I pressed the buttons or as soon as the a/c unit turned on and would scream at me to turn it back up and this was HIS house and HIS thermostat.
Fast forward 15 years, and my dad comes to stay with my wife and me during a hurricane rather than in his trailer. He’s sleeping on our apartment's pull-out couch, and guess where the thermostat is located. I keep my house nice and chilly at night (69 because, lol), and just as I fall asleep, I hear a pitter-patter of footsteps and see the shadow of two feet outside my bedroom door. tap tap tap, and my a/c clicks off.
I shout from MY bed, 'After 25 years of being told not to touch your thermostat, I KNOW you’re not touching my thermostat the first night you’re ever in MY house. Set it back how you found it, AND GET THE F*CK BACK IN BED BEFORE I COME OUT THERE!' He responds with a disgruntled f*ck you' before tap tap tap and shuffling back to the living room, where I hear him pull the chain a couple of times to turn off the overhead fan.
asteroid_1 says:
In the pre-Rona times, I moved my parents into my home. So even though the three of us are under the same roof, they technically live with me and not the other way around. I pay all the household bills, and they help with the mortgage and buy food. It works out.
At one point my stepdad was agitated about lights being left on. He'd go in behind us to turn them off making snarky comments. Finally, I just told him, 'I pay for the electricity. So what if I leave a light on, it's coming out of my pocket.'
He realized I was right, but I could tell he'd never thought about the situation from that perspective. He still walks behind us turning the lights off and making snarky comments. Only now it's under the guise of saving me money.
It seems like my house, my rules only create resentful children.