Church says only 'true members' can volunteer with them, man maliciously complies.
Being part of a church offers not just religion but community. Church festivals, volunteering, and good old-fashioned gossiping bring the community together. Well, if I learned anything from my parent's church, gossiping happens in every part of the church, all to save people's souls.
On a popular Reddit thread in the Malicious Compliance Subreddit, a churchgoer isn't allowed to volunteer at the church because he isn't a 'true' member.
He writes:
This involves a church, but it isn't a bad church. There was this hurricane, and they did spend their money to put homeless people into hotels and feed them until they had places to live.
They always need volunteers; if you are conflict avoidant like me (50m), you get asked to do lots of stuff. I mean, if I'm already there, I guess I'll do it. You will certainly be taken for granted if you have difficulty saying no.
I got asked to make the coffee. I mean making coffee for like 150 people. I don't even drink coffee, and I said yes. What is wrong with me?
There is some training. I did the training. I show up on my day, and I'm in the kitchen getting ready to make the coffee, just as I was told, and someone comes in and kicks me out.
They won't take any of my excuses. I need to get out NOW. I comply to keep the peace. I guess they were tired of people helping themselves to food, maybe. I think it was because I'm male, and women tend to run that kitchen.
I don't know. What I do know is I never made that coffee and never will. You can make the coffee if I'm not welcome in the kitchen. You don't need me.
I live and work near the church. I got asked to help with the security system. You get notified when it goes off. When that happens, you can go to the church, turn off the alarm, and call the alarm people.
I'm ideal because I'm so close so much of the time. I don't even need to drive. They train me, and I get the codes and everything. Everything was all set, and then the person who taught me remembered something and left for a bit.
When they came back, they said that someone high up objected to me being security because I was not a church member. Being a member is more than showing up. It is more than giving money.
You must declare your allegiance and be baptized before the whole congregation, baptized somewhere else. Doesn't count. You have to do it over. It's a real spectacle.
While I don't mind religion, I detest spectacle. I have dodged this particular honor. I'm not ever going to become a member.
Besides, a Deacon told me to find somewhere else because my kids were loud when I first came. If I'm tolerated but not welcome, I'll be present and not a member.
Now the person doing the training probably counts beans and thinks if she gets me to become a member, she has saved my soul, and she will be higher up some ladder to heaven or something.
She probably thinks this made-up story (my analysis) about some high-up anonymous person objecting to my placement as a security officer will make me sign up to become a member right away. I will not. Instead, I will agree and comply with that anonymous person's concerns.
So I say that I would never want to make anyone uncomfortable with my position as a security officer for the church. You should have someone who is trusted by the whole congregation.
I must remove this responsibility and let you find the right person for the job. It is unfortunate that someone so close and convenient to the church who has been here a long time must step down, but what can be done?
They offered to talk with the person who objected to see if there was some compromise. I assured her that I saw no compromise possible. Trust is the currency of church security. I must humbly step down and reflect on my distrustful character.
The pastor talked to me about all this and offered to fix things. He said membership used to be a big deal and isn't so much anymore. I declined. I don't mind volunteering but I won't fight anyone to do it. For me, volunteering has to be consensual by all involved.
Do I want to spend my volunteer hours arguing with self-appointed gatekeepers when I could be sleeping in or reading a book?
I still help out now and again informally for one-time things when they are stuck, and I have one regular duty that I like, and no one dares harass me about it because it is technical, but I say no to anything else.
After all, some anonymous person has made me step down from these positions in the past, and I wouldn't want to go through the trouble of joining this or that committee only to be told about objections after the fact.
The internet can relate to being taken for granted.
Calbear86 says:
This happened to me; differently, I volunteered for the AV team, which I loved. After three years, I was made senior tech and given keys and a church credit card. Trusted to make purchases for AV and such.
Then the pastor decided anyone who served in any capacity had to attend these group bible studies for men or women once a week. Ok, no big deal; they are Wednesday nights.
Until he decided the men’s group should meet for a sunrise group every Saturday morning… I worked 4 PM to 4 AM Fri-Sun.
I didn’t go and, after three weeks, was told to attend or step down; that Tuesday (the pastor was off on Monday), I went to the office, turned in the keys and my card, and showed him the $3,000 of equipment that was mine (receipts and labels on items) with copies of contracts signed by church elders, saying they were 'renting.'
Later, I left the church and heard they had to spend over $12,000 to replace my stuff since no one knew how to operate the existing equipment, and had to hire a specialist.
We had found a great church; casual and laid back, the pastor allowed for cushions on the back pews for individuals like myself with injuries/back problems, and he was involved. The old farts of the church decided things were getting too relaxed, got him moved, and got a new pastor in.
No more cushions allowed, much stricter dressing expectations, suddenly getting very cliquish and required everyone to submit forms to the church to allow them to view their bank transactions so they could ensure everyone was doing anything properly. See ya, suckers; we're out.
Banazir864 says:
'Being a member is more than showing up. It is more than giving money. You must declare your allegiance and be baptized before the whole congregation. Baptized somewhere else? Doesn't count.'
As a Christian, I'm baffled by this. Baptism isn't a 'joining a church' event; it's a 'becoming a Christian' event. Unless this church doesn't believe that any other church is genuinely Christian, I don't know how they can have this rule.
Or was it only some baptisms they don't recognize, e.g., they don't accept infant baptisms but accept choosing to be baptized even if it was in another church?
Do churches know that more and more people are leaving organized religions?