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'Am I the a-hole for correcting my wife’s grammar?' asks the man who made her cry.

'Am I the a-hole for correcting my wife’s grammar?' asks the man who made her cry.


Is 'speaking properly' an actual priority for most people? Or is it a snobby way to enforce language rules that are actually always in flux and generally arbitrary to begin with?

Well, one man thinks it's totally fine to correct the way adults speak in their own home, and was shocked to find out not everyone agreed when he came to Reddit.

'AITA (Am I the a-hole) for correcting my wife’s grammar?'

Historical-Fill8218 writes:

Need some input on this one. My wife is upset with me about always correcting her grammar. Example: We are watching The Office.

Wife: “I bet they’ll be making money off of this show for the rest of their life.”

Me: “lives.”

She got angry and then cried and said that I correct her grammar a lot and she finds it condescending and rude and that I am treating her like a child.

I didn’t see it that way, and feel that it isn’t really out of the norm to correct someone you’re close with, especially when it’s such a basic mistake.

Also, she is a 4th grade teacher, so it is kind of her job to teach others proper grammar.

So, AITA for being a grammar nazi? Should I just keep my mouth shut? Thanks in advance.

What do you think? It is 'totes normal' and 'super chill' to correct people you are close with on how they speak? Or is it rude AF?

Here's what Reddit said:

CrimsonKnight_004 says:

YTA (You're the a-hole) - You have done this regularly enough to make her hit a breaking point. People don’t have to speak with “proper grammar” (which is a myth), especially in their own homes. Even (gasp) teachers!

You made your wife cry and she expressed that she feels condescended to, but you care about more about pluralizing a word than her feelings. She shouldn’t have to feel like she’s walking on eggshells around you every time she speaks. Learn to let the grammar go and not police how she speaks.

And anchovie_macncheese agrees:

I am a teacher who routinely stumbles over my own words. I've always been this way. Every once and a while some AH will make a remark to the effect of 'I can't believe you mispronounced that word- it's your job to do that right' or some dumb bullsh*t. Or God forbid I forget a word I'm trying to say!

And I can guarantee I just lost all respect for anybody who makes these comments. I'm a human first, and all humans make mistakes, regardless of their profession.

OP, if you're going to sit here and act like your wife needs to live up to some ridiculous standard of perfection, you're an AH. How many times does she need to tell you to cut it out before she just leaves. It's suffocating behavior, honestly.

some_toast_ simply asks:

YTA. Why? What’s the purpose of correcting her grammar? What are you getting out of it?

OP defends himself:

To speak properly I guess. My parents would correct me is I spoke poorly growing to try and help me be more articulate, so I guess I inherited that habit from there. Maybe I should just bite my tongue

Embarrassed-Panic-37 points out:

You corrected 'life' and didn't think to correct 'off of'? No grammar nazi worth his salt would be OK with 'off of'.

OP responds:

The rare double failure! I failed at being a kind husband and a pedant in one fell swoop!

But kokonikoreteureshii understands where OP is coming from:

Ngl that one seems a bit excessive so YTA. I do correct my husband for certain things though. Example 'I seen that' or 'I done that' I will correct to 'you saw that' or 'you did that'

He was from a low socioeconomic area and so he said a lot incorrectly at the start of our relationship and I would automatically correct him cause my parents were strict on that stuff. He's glad for it now because he is told by employers etc how well spoken he is. I don't correct him on everything though and I would be an AH if I did.

OP replies:

I grew up the same. I don’t view it as unkind to correct Simone you love, especially because people in the world definitely do judge you by how articulate you are. I didn’t believe I was overboard, however it seems likely I have been. Thanks for your input.

To which JuliaWeGotCows says:


After a barrage of verbal beatings, OP decided to update us.

He adds to his original post:

Update: So the consensus is I am the AH. I did apologize yesterday and apologized again this morning and will try to stop doing this in the future. Thanks to those who gave constructive feedback!

Sources: Reddit
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