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Breastfeeding mom comes to dinner 'topless' after MIL claims she's 'rude' to make people wait.

Breastfeeding mom comes to dinner 'topless' after MIL claims she's 'rude' to make people wait.


When people push you too long, you're bound to snap in response.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for coming to dinner topless after her MIL pressured her to cut breastfeeding short. She wrote:

"AITA for coming to dinner basically topless?"

I've dreaded posting for a while because I'm afraid I might be the AH. But i just gotta know. So here goes. My parents in law and brother in law came to visit and stay for a month with my husband (27M) and I (28F) after I had my baby. For context if it makes any difference, I'm German, husband and his family are Italian. The baby was 3 months old at the time and I breastfeed her.

Usually I'd just nurse on the couch in the living room but because company was staying, I'd go to my bedroom. After I nursed her, she'd fall asleep and take a nap and I'd have some free time. Since family was visiting, I tried to plan her naps around our mealtime to spend time with family uninterrupted. My MIL has this thing that when food is on the table, you be there pronto.

Sometimes I'd be late coming to a meal because babies can be unpredictable and she wouldn't fall asleep right away or nursed longer than normal. To this my mother in law would barge into my room and announce food was ready, all impatient. This startled the baby and made the process last much longer than it should have. The result is I had to eat much later than everyone else, alone, and the food was cold.

It left me fuming. More work to do with the baby and I'm secluded. This happened several times. I asked my husband to talk to her and explain I can't always come on time. He talked to her but she still did all this anyway. So I simply decided to stop being late to the dinners. The next time she barged in my room and announced food was ready, I came without hesitation. I came to the table exactly as I was.

No shirt, half a bra, baby hanging on one tit. (nothing was seen as the baby's head covered up everything anyway but still) Ensue uproar. Goes something like: MIL exclaims what the hell I'm doing at the table like this. I'm indecent, there are men at the table. I should be ashamed. I yell back what the hell does she keep calling me to the table for if I'm not yet ready.

I have no reason to be in my room alone with my baby while everyone else is out having a great time together. Brother and FIL are trying not to get in on the argument. Husband ushers me back to my room and scolds me, taking his mother's side. He means he gets I'm frustrated but this action didn't help anything.

But...after that MIL didn't bother again while I was busy with the baby. So what if I came to some meals a little after everyone had started eating. The roof didn't cave in! Anyways everyone lived happily ever after. The end. AITA?

Redditors had OP's back.

ThinkingT00Loud wrote:

NTA. A well-placed piece of malicious compliance.

He_Who_Is_Person wrote:

NTA. I mean, breastfeeding isn't sexual but it is awkward to have a woman doing it at the dinner table. That said, that you were there is entirely on MIL. Besides...Germans and Italians? Aren't there topless women of all ages at the beach? (I suppose you only mention origins, not currently location).

Windermyr wrote:

You need to grow a spine and kick you MIL out of the house, and not let her visit again until she agrees to behave. Also, you need to talk to your husband. His behaviour was disgraceful.


FragrantEconomist386 wrote:

NTA. MIL had it coming. I have a huge problem with your husband, though. He shouldn't be scolding you, but his interfering mother! You were just wanting to feed your baby uninterrupted and have your own dinner afterwards. All very reasonable. MIL had to have her ridiculous powerplay at every meal. You did exactly the right thing, since your husband wouldn't help you. And it worked!

Banana_Puddin11 wrote:

NTA. You are my hero. Your house, your baby, your boobs. If your AH MIL has a problem with any of these things she can stay at a hotel. Your husband is an AH. What kind of man would be okay with his family eating a hot meal while his wife ate cold food because she was feeding his child. Everyone should have and could have waited for you. Going forward they would need to stay at a hotel.

OP is clearly NTA, she gave her MIL what she *technically* asked for.

Sources: Reddit
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