In a post on Reddit a women who's struggling asked for advice. She probably isn't going to be happy with what she hears. Here's her story...
I have been struggling with my mental health for a while now. After years of putting it off, I finally started therapy this year. It's been eye opening, stressful, frightening, and enlightening. I've known I struggled with anxiety for years, but with the help of my therapist, we found out that I also have ADHD and am probably on the autism spectrum as well.
For the most part, my husband has been supportive. But he still gets frustrated with me because he feels like he's not a priority for me anymore. I have told him many times that I need to focus on myself and that I can't help anyone else unless I help myself first. He doesn't seem to grasp this.
We had a big fight on Saturday because he told me that he doesn't feel like a priority to me anymore. He said that he feels like I put our son, my job, our dog, everything else in our lives, then him, as my priority list. He said he constantly feels like an afterthought and that his needs and wants don't matter.
I tried to explain all the things he could do to help support me better to help me get to a place where I have the emotional, physical, and mental energy to be there for him more, but he got pissed because he felt I was invalidating everything he said and just made more work for him.
Yesterday, I wanted to take our son to a pumpkin patch, but my husband said he woke up with a bad head cold and just wanted to stay home and rest. I asked him if he could at least get a few things done around the house while I was gone with our son.
When we got home, he was just sitting on the couch watching football. The only thing he did was clean the shower, do the dishes, and pick up lunch for us. There was still laundry to be folded, yard work to be done, meal planning, etc.
I was not happy. I was texting my mom about the pumpkin patch and kind of venting about my husband not doing things around the house, but I accidentally sent a few of the texts to him instead of my mom.
He got pissed when he saw them. He said that he doesn't feel good, just wants to rest, and I'm complaining to other people about him and that makes him feel like sh!t. He said he tried doing a few things, got lightheaded, and just wants to rest and all I care about is whether or not the clothes are folded.
He said this is exactly what he means when he says he feels like he doesn't matter to me. But all I want is a little help around the house so that I don't constantly feel overwhelmed.
I have so many things going on inside my head on a daily basis that he doesn't understand. I just want him to be able to take some things off my plate without me having to ask him.
He barely spoke to me the rest of the day and this morning he wouldn't even give me a hug before he took our son to daycare. I've spent the morning crying because he's making me feel guilty instead of helping me.
'The only thing he did was clean the shower, do the dishes, and pick up lunch for us.'
That sounds like a lot for someone who wasn’t feeling well enough to go on the fun outing when that would’ve presented a perfect opportunity for the quality time he wants more of.
OP's husband got more done in a morning of being sick than I do for some entire days feeling well.
Honestly think she needs a different therapist or medication. This one seems on a surefire path to divorce.
There's a lot of YTA flying around but I'm going to roll with ESH. You're not meeting his needs and he also may not be meeting yours as well.