Mom asks if she's wrong to be angry babysitter showered in her house.
'AITA for telling my kids' babysitter that it was inappropriate of her to shower in my home?'
I hired a babysitter for my 5 and 3 year old kids 2 weeks ago. My husband works shifts while I work long hours at a marketing company.
So far we've had no issues til yesterday. I came home at 6pm and noticed the babysitter's wet hair and new clothes. She told me she took a shower after one of the kids spilled milk on her. I was confused but visibly upset but she tried to 'reassure' me the kids were fine, because my husband watched them while she took her shower which only lasted for few minutes.
I was more confused that my husband was home when he had a shift to cover. I told her I didn't think it was appropriate of her to shower in my home like that. She argued that it was fine and that she had no choice and couldn't leave the milk on her like that. We argued and my husband heard the commotion and got involved.
He said it was not as big of a deal as I was making it out to be but I told the babysitter that I did not appreciate how she basically ignored how I felt about this and dismissed my feelings still. She went home, but we still argued on the phone. She thinks she's done nothing wrong and said I was being unfair when I mentioned potentially cutting from her salary after that.
My husband keeps saying that I'm overreacting and the 'poor girl' couldn't handle having milk stains on her body and clothes. But I couldn't help feel it was inappropriate and she should have checked with me. AITA for my reaction?
Info:
I'm the one who pays her, not my husband.
I told her to call or text (always available) if anything happens.
I didn't even know my husband was home at the time! If you noticed, I said that I argued with her even before she told me my husband was home. And no I didn't know how big the stain was but she argued about being covered in milk for 6+hrs.
As for the question of why my husband didn't go to work? He said he was feeling a bit sick and swapped shifts with a coworker.
The babysitter is 24. She said she has experience and yes she normally brings a bag of clothes, wet wipes and stuff like that with her.
Comments:
Um. You hired a babysitter. Your husband was at home when he was supposed to be working. Babysitter went to clean up.
AndSoItGoes24 says:
You know how sometimes no matter how much you discuss it, you know you aren't ever going to agree? That's what Op should tell her husband. 'I hear you. This is not acceptable to me. And that's not going to change. Thank your for addressing the matter with me privately.' Hell, leave the babysitter alone.
ozziejean says:
The fact he didn't let his wife know is so incredibly suspicious. Why wasn't he resting in bed if he was so sick? Was he was well enough to be around them for her to ask if she could shower? Yet not well enough to send her home early as he could watch the kids? Weird when combined with the fact he didn't message his wife,
AndSoItGoes24 says:
The problem is with her husband - not the babysitter. If a 24-year-old woman being alone with your man, let alone taking a shower while he's in the house gives you the collywobbles - just own it. Talk about your very real fears and deal with that part of marriage.
Get a new babysitter even. That I can understand. Just don't dance around the subject. Meet that crap head on. I'm seeing a potentially bigger problem here, OP...