Woman pressures boyfriend to spend less time with his late wife's family.
AITA for asking my new BF to spend less time with his late wife’s family?
I (30F) have been dating my new BF (33M) will call him Bill for about 5 months. Bill lost his wife Meg in a car accident last year. They were together for 10 years married for 5 and had a son together. Bills son is now 3.
I feel like Bill and I are really clicking and I like where our relationship is heading. He has met my family and gets along with them. My one problem is Bill still spends a lot of time with Meg’s family.
He plays softball with Megs uncle and has gone to Megs grandmothers house for dinner with his son a bunch of times. He brings his son to see Megs mother pretty much every week. Bill has never said no to coming with me to my families house and he has asked me to go with him to Megs families house.
I haven’t gone with him to Megs family, it feels weird. Well the other night I asked him if he could spend less time with Megs family. He got very quiet and asked why. I said it made me feel like we couldn’t move forward if he was still always seeing Megs family.
He said I was ridiculous and that he was going to separate his son from his grandparents and that he views Megs uncle as one of his best friends. We got into a big fight but I still feel he spends too much time with them. Some of my friends agreed that I’m ridiculous AITA?
Here's what people had to say:
El_Silksterro says:
Holy f**k. Wtf did I just read. You expect him to keep his son from his dead mothers family? You are a complete AH. Know this. If you press this because of your childish jealousy he will leave you. Rightly so. These people are his friends and family. He will never lose contact with them. You either accept that or move on.
newgfthrowaway11 responded:
I never said I want his son to see the family less. I would just like him to spend some less time with them and more time with my family
sugarsmash says:
And you think they won’t judge you for being the reason they don’t get to see as much of their grandchild and and former son/brother-in-law? Really?
newgfthrowaway11 OP responded:
I have no intention on making his son see the family less. I would just like him to spend less time with them
I_luv_sloths says:
The little boy lost his mom, now you want his family time cut back? How can you not see how selfish your request is?
newgfthrowaway11 OP responded:
I don’t want him to stop seeing her family completely just a little less.
I_luv_sloths followed up with:
Have you spoken to him since the fight?
newgfthrowaway11 OP said:
Not really we don’t live together
newgfthrowaway11 OP added:
Some of my friends have said we started dating too soon. We don’t live together or anything like that. But I would like to get to that point.
rhymes_with_mayo says:
Why? If you don't like his family, why do you want to live with him?
newgfthrowaway11 OP responded:
I like him and feel strong about us. I like his family. I just feel Megs family will judge me if we see them all the time.
MxRead says:
to recap: you have an open invitation to join your boyfriend when visiting his son's maternal side of the family. Bill is very open to visiting your family. yet, this is not good enough for you.
YTA
Please, listen to your friends.
newgfthrowaway11 OP responded:
I have met Megs family before. I just feel like they might judge me that’s why I say no most of the time.