My husband (35M) and I (34F) have been married for 10 years and have 3 kids (9, 6, & 3). He is a huge soccer fan so obviously he's been following the World Cup. He works from home so he's been having the games on while he's working. I work in retail and have an inconsistent schedule, including working on weekends.
With our 2 oldest in school, we've been able to work our schedules around our youngest so we don't have to put her in daycare. It can be hard on days we both work, with my husband being the one to alter his schedule to watch her. I am scheduled to work 8am-3pm both days this weekend
Last night I heard my husband on the phone with a friend. He mentioned something along the lines of 'The sitter will be here at 8 in the morning, so that should give me plenty of time to meet up with you guys. Just get us a table and I'll meet you there.'
I asked him what that was about and he told me that he got a sitter for our kids on Sunday so that he can go watch the World Cup final at a bar with some friends. The game starts at 9am our time. I asked him when he was going to tell me about this plan and he told me he literally got off the phone with the sitter 5 minutes before he called his friend.
The sitter is one we've used before, so the kids know her, but she charges a pretty high rate. We usually only use sitters for date nights, never for just one of us to go to a bar while the other is working.
I told him he was being irresponsible by leaving our kids with a sitter so he can go drink and watch soccer with his friends IN THE MORNING. He said he's maybe going to have one beer during the game, or maybe none at all. He just wants to watch the final with his friends instead of at home because he knows the kids don't want to watch it.
I told him we never get a sitter for just one of us and that we should be saving that money for when we can both go on a date night. I told him he needs to call the sitter back and cancel and he can just watch the game at home instead, especially since he didn't talk to me about this first.
He said he rarely gets time to himself on weekends because of my work schedule and that this is a special occasion. He said he'll only be gone for a few hours and he'll be back before I get home from work. He is refusing to cancel the sitter.
Here's how people judged OP:
YTA. He handled hiring a babysitter to go do something. I would cry tears of joy for my husband to even know how to contact a babysitter and handle that sort of thing! Let the man go enjoy his time.
YTA. He IS being responsible. He has a special event, you're working, so he hired a babysitter so that your kids would be safe and looked after, and he can focus on and enjoy his game without distractions.
This isn't a weekly event, it's a one time event. I fail to see a problem
FFS the world cup final is only once every 4 years. Just let him enjoy this one goddamn game. OP is so selfish because according to her, he's not allowed to enjoy his own interests, money can only be spent when it comes to her. YTA
Gentle YTA because World Cup finals happen only once every four years and your husband was responsible enough to organise the babysitter. But the fact this is stressing you out makes me wonder: how burned out are you?
How much stress are you both under, that a couple of hours on a weekend are this big a deal? Are you feeling mom guilt about working away from the home? What else is going on here? I’m concerned for both of you.