Family crashes couple's elopement; 'My poor wife, her family is crazy.'
"Elopement disaster & wedding crashers."
GLL420
My new wife and I planned a quick elopement because we found out she was pregnant. My wife, 26F and I 26M have been together for 7 years. We had always talked about eloping in Colorado but I work a lot so for one reason or another it always got pushed off.
When we found out about our pregnancy we were so excited. We planned for a month to bring our group of 4 friends with us to Colorado. We rented an RV, hired a photographer and videographer to shoot our entire trip, rented a massive air bnb on the mountain with an indoor hot tub and beautiful views. It was perfect!
Well, almost perfect. We strategically picked Colorado because of 1. The views and 2. it was so far from our families. My wife has a massive family and paying for all them alone in a local wedding would’ve been more than our entire elopement.
I should add, her family is crazy. She is fully aware of it and was excited to elope so she didn’t have to deal with the repercussions of her mother and sisters. She was raised in a house with a manipulative addict.
The idea that “family is all you will ever have” was burned into her brain at a very young age. Her mom knew if she didn’t all her kids would abandon her. And after years of pill abuse she’s brain fried. Having a conversation with her is difficult. She doesn’t know what is going on most of the time.
Well, upon arriving in Colorado we’re all getting ready for the wedding. Then, we get a phone call. Her entire family, mom, dad, sisters, sisters boyfriends, all drove over a thousand miles to crash our wedding.
She told her youngest sister about it a week before leaving (we now know, eloping mistake 101). But we really didn’t expect them to be crazy enough to crash a wedding that was strategically planned to avoid them and their baggage.
We also didn’t account her youngest sister is still brainwashed from the “family is all you have” mentality. So she convinced her whole immediate family to crash it.
They showed up at our air bnb, followed us to the venue, and proceeded to make our entire wedding about “the importance of family.” Her mom even interrupted our ceremony to “pray for us.” The prayer was short and sweet.
It consisted of her thanking God she was able to join our wedding and see her daughter get married. (You can’t make this up). That really happened. She interrupted a wedding to thank God she crashed a wedding.
After the ruined ceremony they followed us back to our air bnb where they insisted we were going to have a party. My pregnant wife proceeds to tell them why she can’t drink. And immediately everything went much further downhill.
Her mom had found a new target in our unborn child. The future of manipulated children who would never be able to leave her side. She was thrilled. This was no longer about our marriage, it was about her daughter getting married. No longer about our baby it was about her grandbaby.
She manipulated my wife after we asked them to leave a place they were never invited to. “Family is all you have” was loaded in the chamber all weekend. The photographer and videographer stopped doing photo and video because “everyone was looking miserable.”
And because her mom kept trying to pull her away to a bedroom for “private family time.” We spent the next two days after our wedding tending to her mother’s needs for attention.
After all was said and done we had a ruined ceremony, 140 pictures, 0 video and no after movie. We didn’t get to go to the ice skating rink, no ice sculptures, didn’t get to go to Denver, and our first dinner as a married couple was eaten separately. We were supposed to have 800 pictures, two videos, and one ‘movie’ of the whole weekend combined.
We tried leaving and taking more pictures and videos but her mother would do her best to distract my wife from accomplishing anything. All said and done we were out a ton of money, stressed out, didn’t get half of what we’d paid for and didn’t turn in our marriage certificate.
We still have time to turn it in but we’re both so angry at the situation we took time to calm down before we did anything else. Her mother and sisters almost cost us a marriage with 0 remorse. It’s been a stressful month and I’m just glad it’s over.
Edit to answer some questions: So the location of the venue is super popular in Colorado. And she shares locations with her sisters is how they found our air bnb. Only house with an RV outside stood us out like a sore thumb with a GPS to our exact location.
What she thought was just casual sister talk ended up costing us. You know the saying, lose lips sink ships. Also as I tried to mention without too much slander. The mom is burnt to a crisp.
She doesn’t understand what’s going on most of the time, or at least pretends not to, but reacts like a child when met with confrontation. My poor wife had no choice but to really roll with the punches. So everyone else but her could still enjoy it.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
accordingtotrena
Why did you both allow this to happen? Why did your wife give them the address to the Airbnb then not kick them out? If she was overwhelmed, you should have stepped in.
Catsdrinkingbeer
Yeah I don't mean to be rude to OP because obviously this sucks, but just saying you're eloping to Colorado would not give enough information to someone. There are a LOT of mountains over there. There has to be more to this than a casual mention of the plan one week prior.
paulabear203
All of this! Locating an AirBnb can't be easy. It seems like a coincidence they drove all that way without a word to anyone and were able to track you all down and then insert themselves into the entire weekend.
Is there a chance your wife told her youngest sister (wink, wink) and subconsciously wanted her family to be there? Once they show up, yes, they are crazy enough to crash a wedding just as a starter.
I agree that you should have stepped in and protected your wife from that level of intrusion. Your MIL may be a crazy pill head, but she must be familiar with the word, "no." Good luck with all of that. Your wife is no longer a daughter - she is the mother of the grandbaby. And you, sir, are the father of that grandbaby as well.
The OP responded here:
GLL420
And you are completely right. I’m exhausted I’ve been reading and responding for hours. Will be getting back on tomorrow and trying to respond to everyone. Everyone’s advice has helped greatly!
Yoma73
Your wife needs therapy now. This will get worse when the baby arrives without serious boundaries- and actions to maintain them.