"Fiancée doesn't want to introduce me or let me talk to her best friends before marriage."

So my fiancée (gf) aged 32 doesn't want me(aged 28 M) to talk to her best friends at all before marriage. We have been dating since the last 2.5 years and those 2.5 years has been mostly public. Public in the sense that both me and her liked to post pictures or reels of ourselves from vacations or times together and we were very clear that we were in a relationship on Instagram.

However she doesn't have a lot many real life followers from office or personal life on her Instagram. She has around 7 or 8 really good friends who she meets on a regular basis and one cousin.

We are both matured adults and decided to get married in the coming year in 2024 November or December since we started dating. So I thought it would be better if I introduced her to my family too last month, so I took her consent and decided to meet with my family at a good restaurant in the city. My family got to know her and they liked her & decided to fix the date for our wedding.

But my gf said it would be too early for her to get married this year, so we eventually decided to fix the marriage date for 6 months from now. Usually in my city, its a requirement to book the marriage halls early enough so that you get a proper hall. So I took her consent and discussed with my family and booked a hall for marriage.

Few days later she also went and booked a hall for her side of the party. It is normal to have parties from both bride and groom's side in our culture. Basically so far I have made her meet my family and one female friend of mine who lives in a different town with her bf and both of the meetings were proper well planned meetings. She also met maybe another friend of mine(accidentally)in the mall.

I however have never met her friends in that manner, only once or twice I met some friends by accident as I was driving my gf somewhere and 2 3 of her friends also hopped in and we just spoke a few words as we travelled in the car. But her friends were aware that we were dating of course.

Now a strange incident happened last week which left me really confused. It was a text from a friend of hers on Instagram. Before this I had never spoken to this friend of hers except for only once, a year back, when my gf wasn't talking to me as we had a fight and so I texted this friend of hers and asked her politely to talk to my gf once as she is a good friend, she said ok I will surely talk.

And also I texted her friend only because I felt my gf back then was going through a lot of things and probably she would need a friend to discuss properly as she had a huge financial loan etc. and even had a fight with me & her family for some reasons. Shortly afterwards I got a call from my gf regarding me DMing her friend on Instagram and she asked me very angrily to never talk to her again.

To which I was surprised but I complied as our relationship wasn't so stable back then and I gave her space to settle. And after a while that day, I got a message from her friend saying hey sorry I can't help you in this and she blocked me on Instagram. I was ok and didn't react back etc. So this was last year's incident.

Now this same friend texted me suddenly last week as she was not able to reach my gf over call and she was tensed as what was going on. I politely replied back saying hey she's alright probably busy with office work I will inform my gf that you are trying to reach her. I called my gf and said her friend called to which she was like:- "oh lord what, why does she have to text you, please block her on Instagram"

I found it very weird to block that friend and immature at the same time. So I told her I won't, so my gf told me that if I wont then her friend will. Few moments later I saw I was again blocked on Insta by her friend.

Actually this time around it made me a little angry and I ended up texting her on her other Insta handle and told her, hey how are you doing, I didn't like what you just did and this is not a very respectable way to talk to someone. I also wrote " if your husband has some self respect he should also not text my girlfriend when you guys are having issues."

Then she replied saying hey my husband, me and her were in her life much before you came to her life. After which I politely explained that I didn't mean to break their friendship and only wanted to make their bond better and just felt disrespected for being blocked twice when I wanted to just talk to them once or get to know/ meet them.

So she didn't reply to this and informed my gf and my girlfriend again came out angrily and was very angry with me as I referred her friend's husband. I felt that was the only logical way to express myself. I was serious about her and made her meet my family & friends. She had no family members( her parents also passed away and cousins live in other countries or far away now).

But her friends would be the ones who would be present at our wedding from her side. So I expected her to take me a little more seriously and maybe not ask her friends to block me at least on Instagram. She often visits this female friend's house & sometimes they have sleepovers and sometimes even parties with this friend and her husband in their house, birthday parties or some other reason.

I never got to properly go out or meet any of her friends in a official go out /meet kind of sense. I expressed her couple of times that your friend brings her husband & baby along in group meetings sometimes, so maybe I can also go along and meet them once. But she is strictly against this and this has blocking incident recently is seriously bothering me.

My gf says my ex-boyfriends had bothered my friends earlier as well and I don't want these things to happen again. But this probably would have made sense to till maybe like a year back but now we are gonna get married in 6 months, even now she's hesitant & says she will introduce me to them only after marriage.

And also when she gets married these friends will probably have to help her make her side of the arrangements/duties as she has no one else. So I needed to talk to them as well for our upcoming wedding preparations.

I haven't spoken to my gf since last 2 days because of this and she also is saying she is unsure of the marriage now after I expressed this desire to meet her friends and she says that I will be controlling in nature in the future. I feel she will text me or call me back soon. Am I asking for the right thing by asking her to introduce me to her friends what should I do?

TLDR: My fiancée doesn't want me to meet or interact with her friends (even on social media) but we have already dated 2.5 years and I made her meet my family 2months back and also my friends. My gf often visits her best friends house and sometimes they even drink and party and her friend's husband is also around obviously in the house.

My fiancée also does same sleepovers or alcohol parties with another friend couple of hers who are not yet married. I find it weird because she never lets me interact with her friends even and even made a friend of hers block me last week because she texted me.

I have raised this concern with my fiancée and said I think I should get to know your friends at least once now that we have a wedding in 6 months. But she is reluctant and says I can only meet them after our marriage. What do you think I should do next. Am I correct to be concerned?

What do you think is going on here? Is he right to be suspicious? This is what top commenters had to say:

Last_Friend_6350 said:

Hmm, what do they know about her, that she doesn’t want to take the chance that they might slip up on and mention to you…

Detcord36 said:

They clearly have dirt on her that she does not want you to know about. Do yourself a favor...break off the engagement, end the relationship and buy that one-way ticket OUT of Crazytown.

s-mores said:

You are in a sitcom plot. It will only end badly unless you stop with the sitcom antics. Do not marry this woman.

And mith2127 said:

The only reason for a SO to not want you to meet friends ( and usually family) is either they know things about her, that she doesn't want you to know, and that if you knew you would probably cancel the wedding, or she has been telling them lies about you, and doesn't want you or them to find out.

A week later, he shared this update:

It's not been long since the blocking incident, but today I just got surprised to learn that my Gf's mother, who she always has been referring as dead, is not really dead.

So few weeks back the girl (her best friend) who is already married with one kid just texted me to know the whereabouts of my gf as she was not able to reach her. My gf on knowing that instantly asked me to block her and I refused but she then made that best friend block me and the rest of the story is already there in the previous post.

Since then I was not able to trust her. My gf has always been telling me that there is no one in her family. She said she was a single child and both her parents have passed away. She used to go to her country side home every 3-4 months to visit her aunt who she said was the only person living there but it always seemed a little off.

And every time she used to go there she used to stay for at least 2-3 days. There were other things which seemed off too like whenever she used to get a phone call, her contact name used to show as "dad home" and a lady used to speak from the other end who she always used to refer as her Aunt.

My gf has already met my parents and we were supposed to get married in the coming February. My parents were hesitant about our marriage because they also didn't like this secrecy and the fact that my gf asked her best friend to block me. I just thought it to be generational differences and was trying to make my parents understand that maybe its not that big a thing.

But still my parents didn't like this relationship and one day last week, they just went near my Gf's office and asked a colleague of hers if she knew about her parents. But that colleague didn't know a lot about her family. I know this was not a right thing to do by my parents but probably they could look at the suspicious things from an outsider's perspective and they just wanted to keep me safe.

I tried to make them understand later that its wrong to take these things in the professional space. They agreed not to ask there again but also urged me to do proper research before taking a step towards marriage. So, I also tried to ponder upon my parents' POV and the whole situation from an outsider's perspective and it was all making me grow impatient.

My GF just wouldn't let me talk to any of her friends or relatives or follow them on social media. And the reason she used to give for not introducing to her family was that her family would never approve of her marriage as inter-caste/ inter-community marriages are still not quite accepted in some parts of India.

But she always used to say how open minded her parents were and that her whole upbringing was very modern etc. and used to cuss my family for being suspicious and backward etc. & she also used to say if her parents were alive today, they would have definitely come for the marriage. My parents liked my gf initially when they met her first time and were very happy about the marriage.

My father even offered to sponsor the marriage expenses for her side as she wasn't doing great financially. But they got suspicious when she even made her best friend block me.

So all these combined, made me very suspicious and I decided to visit her countryside village house today just to check. I went there acting I was looking for someone else and when I knocked the door, her mother came out. I know it was her mother because my GF showed photos of her mother to me earlier. It was truly like encountering a ghost.

She looked like a fit and fine woman with a smile on her face and just looking like my GF. My Gf and I are not talking properly since the day my parents went to her office. She called my parents crazy and what not for doing such a thing and was angry and said people of my community are clever/cunning and crazy and do suspicious spying on people but never accepted that she said such a big lie to our family.

And while I admitted to her that it was wrong to ask at her office, but its not right for her as well to talk like that about my family when she was acting all suspicious asking friends and family to block me and faking her mother's death.

I haven't spoken to my gf about this and idk what should I make out of this really? This was a very huge lie and I don't see a valid reason for this either. Her father, as I confirmed from locals nearby, had actually passed away and her mother was living there with her aunt who was living in a different house just on the adjacent block.

I just want to know if there could be any valid reason or judgement that can be applied to this scenario because I cant think of any. Her mother looked fit and fine to me. Roughly around 50-60 years of age.

TL;DR: My GF asked her best friend to block me on Instagram, claiming her parents were dead and only her aunt was alive. However, I discovered her mother is actually alive and living in her countryside home. This, along with other suspicious behavior, has led to trust issues. Now, I'm unsure how to proceed, as my girlfriend refuses to introduce me to her family and has been dishonest about significant details.