'WIBTA if I tell my brother and SIL they can’t announce their pregnancy at my wedding?' UPDATED
"WIBTA if I tell my brother and SIL they can’t announce their pregnancy at my wedding?"
My fiancé (24M) and I (21F) are getting married in a couple weeks and my brother and sister in-law are wanting to announce to my family that they are pregnant and what the gender is.
Back story on my brother and sister in-law. They have been married for 8 years and they have been trying to have a baby for quite a few years. They have had a miscarriage and ended up finding out that my sister in-law has a rare condition just last year, she has two uteruses and two cervixes.
Because of this, they have started IVF. They have already had one failed attempt with insemination and are on their second. They found out a week ago that the second one took. They are over the moon with joy and have told just the immediate family that they are pregnant. All of us are so happy for them.
My sister in-law told me a couple days ago that when we get together with family next (which is the wedding since they live 3 hours away) that they are planning on telling the whole family that they are pregnant and what the gender is.
My fiancé is super upset with this. He sees it as the wedding is our day/week and if they tell family, everyone is only going to be talking about them and the baby, not about us and the wedding.
I told my fiancé that for me, as long as they don’t tell on wedding day/at the wedding I’m fine. But he sees it differently and doesn’t want them to say anything that whole week.
I feel like because of this, I’m in between a rock and a hard place because I understand how my fiancé feels but I’m also just so happy that my brother and sister in-law are having a baby and I know this journey has been so hard for them. I know I need to stand by my fiancé and have his back.
So, WIBTA if I told them they couldn’t announce that they are pregnant the week of the wedding?
Edit: WIBTA if I showed my fiancé this thread so he could see what other people think? We have argued all the same points that you all have brought up.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
orangecubit writes:
YTA - as long as he isn’t taking the microphone and making an announcement who cares? The guests at your wedding will have many conversations amongst themselves about their families and various updates since they saw each other last. You can’t dictate that every conversation remain about YOU and YOUR wedding.
captainjeff disagrees:
NTA. This topic comes up a lot. A wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event and should not be forced to be shared with other, also amazingly awesome, events. Your SIL and brother can announce their wonderful news at a different time without jeopardizing the specialness of your wedding. They are being selfish here and acting like assholes.
acrobatictrout writes:
YTA, weddings aren’t a week long affair. It’s reasonable to ask them not to announce at the wedding, but beyond that is ridiculous.
Later OP came back and responded to a request for an update in the comments:
They lost the baby a week before the wedding…we’re all super sad but they aren’t giving up. A couple days before the wedding they posted on Instagram and asked for people to give them their space and that they didn’t feel like talking about it yet.
During the wedding, for the most part everyone avoided the whole topic. Also my fiancé realized he was being an a^%$ole for asking for the whole week (before the miscarriage happened)