My wife is turning 30 and has planned a big birthday party with her friends and family, unfortunately my best friend has also got his wedding on the same evening. I have picked my best friend's wedding as we are very close and I do not get along with my wife's family.
The birthday has been planned for a few months now, invites have been sent and the venue has been booked, I got the wedding invite this week.
My wife is now furious with me and demanding that I do not go to the wedding, but I can't go back on the commitment I made to my best friend.
So, am I the asshole for going to the wedding anyway?
Notes from reading the comments: OP says the he just received the invitation this week. That doesn't mean the wedding and birthday are soon. They may be months away, and just happen to fall on the same day. He also probably knew about the wedding for a long time, just not the exact date until he go the invitation.
I guess if you want to be divorced, it’s fine to go to the wedding
YTA simply because you accepted an invite that you received a week ago while she's been planning this for months. Usually I'd say the wedding is more important, but you already have a commitment for that day and decided it wouldn't be as fun for you and that's f**ked up.
YTA. Your partner's longer-term planning wins out, sorry to say. She can't have known your best friend was going to throw his wedding that same day, and you have to know this is a make or break kind a thing. Your wife is unlikely to forgive this easily.
I'm going with YTA. She's turning 30. A big deal to some and you've known about it for quite some time. Sounds like you'd really just like to skip out on seeing her family.
I doubt she plans parties every year. Personally, I'd be pissed for a super long time if my husband pulled the same stunt
I’m going with NTA. Only because, as a wife, I would support my husband attending his best friends wedding, it is significantly more important than turning 30. There will be plenty more birthdays but weddings only happen once.
Plus, an adult renting a venue for their birthday and sending out invites seems odd. I think I was 8 the last time I did that. But to each their own.