Marriage

<h2>AITA because I baked my own birthday cake after my wife bought one?</h2><blockquote> <p>For my(32M) birthday I always like one specific kind of cake a chocolate-covered cherry cake. My mom or dad always made it for me since it wasn&#39;t one of the available flavors at any bakeries or stores near where we grew up.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>When I moved away I started to make it myself. I&#39;ve been married to my wife just under a year but we&#39;ve been together for 6 years so she knows all about this cake. During that time we&#39;ve either baked it together, my parents made it, or I&#39;ve made it on my own. I&#39;ve never asked or expected her to do it.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Before my birthday this year my wife asked me what kind of cake I wanted. Same kind as always but she told me she didn&#39;t feel like baking. I told her she didn&#39;t need to worry about baking it because I can just do it myself.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>She asked me a second time and I gave her the same answer. The day before my birthday I get home from work and have all the ingredients to make my cake. Go to get something out of the fridge and there&#39;s a pair of cheesecakes in there with &#39;Happy Birthday&#39; written between them both.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I asked my wife about it and she said those were the cakes for my party the next day and she thought of switching things up this year since &quot;everyone loves cheesecake&quot;.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I don&#39;t hate it but she gets cheesecakes at least once a month. I only ever have the cherry cake on my birthday. I told her I appreciate it and they look good but I really want the cake I like so I was going to make mine and we&#39;ll just let everyone have a choice of what cake they want.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>She got pissed off and yelled that I ruined her attempt to make things easier on us by not having to bake and bringing cake that everyone would love. It&#39;s been two days since the party and she was cold at the party and is still acting cold.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Usually I move mountains and heaven to give her the things she wants on her birthdays and celebrate how she wants, I just wanted one specific cake for mine. AITA?</p> </blockquote><p>Comments:</p><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Liseyloop123/">Liseyloop123</a> says:</p><blockquote> <p>NTA, like at all! This cake sounds amazing, can you share the recipe, pretty please?</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Whole_Ferret9774/">Whole_Ferret9774</a> OP responded:</p><blockquote> <p>Its really easy! Chocolate cake mix (or from scratch if you want), cherries (whole or maraschino), almond extract, whipped cream, cherry pie filling, chocolate sauce, and a bit of rum.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Make the cake mix and then add the cherries, rum, and almond extract. Mix it really well, put it in a cake pan and bake it.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I top it off with a whipped cream icing. Mix the cherry pie filling in it, slather on the cake and then drizzle the chocolate sauce over it. I use the regular chocolate cake mix so the chocolate doesn&#39;t get overwhelming.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/GimmeUrNachos/">GimmeUrNachos</a> says:</p><blockquote> <p>Your birthday, your party! It sounds like you were kind about the whole thing, so I don&#39;t even get why she is so angry about the cake you wanted. Many people have something they love that reminds them of mom or home or when they were a child and it stirs up some nice memories to recreate it when we can.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Maybe it&#39;s a mom thing?? Is she cool with your mom? Are there any feelings of resentment or jealousy there? Do you have other things that you do frequently that &quot;mom used to do?&quot; Just a few thoughts...the only thing I can think of as to why she&#39;d be so upset!</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>The best thing I can say is talk to her...find out why she is so angry and listen to what she has to say. Don&#39;t settle for &quot;I just don&#39;t get why you have to....&quot; There is something there...dig it out of her!</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Whole_Ferret9774/">Whole_Ferret9774</a> OP responded:</p><blockquote> <p>My wife gets along alright with my mom. The cake isn&#39;t really a &#39;mom used to do&#39;, she knows both of my parents used to make it. I&#39;d say I do more things that my dad does or used to do but they&#39;re more hobby related.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/SilentSnortingCrack/">SilentSnortingCrack</a> says:</p><blockquote> <p>NTA but I feel like there&#39;s something missing here. Is there a reason she seems to dislike the cake? Does she like it the other times? I don&#39;t know, since it seems like she had no problem baking it with you before, then something seems off here.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Whole_Ferret9774/">Whole_Ferret9774</a> OP responded:</p><blockquote> <p>She hasn&#39;t complained about it prior but I do know she&#39;s not a big fan of chocolate.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/SamSpayedPI/">SamSpayedPI</a> says:</p><blockquote> <p><del>I N F O: Did you tear the kitchen apart baking your cake, and make a huge mess that you expected her to clean up?</del></p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>If not, NTA. Surely it&#39;s not too much to ask that you bake your own cake for your own birthday.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I can understand not wanting a big mess in the kitchen a day before having a big party. But if you took care of the mess yourself (cleaned to her (party) standards, not yours), I can&#39;t see what the big deal is.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Whole_Ferret9774/">Whole_Ferret9774</a> OP responded:</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>No I clean as I go whenever I cook or bake something.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Suitable-Cod-1381/">Suitable-Cod-1381</a> says:</p><blockquote> <p>NTA and it&#39;s weird for her to have even bothered asking what kind of cake you want if she was going to ignore you and choose her favorite cake instead. Also I&#39;ve never heard of a party being ruined by too much cake, that&#39;s patently absurd. Is she weirdly controlling about other things as well or is this just because she&#39;s doesn&#39;t like chocolate cherry cake? I don&#39;t get it.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/PinkedOff/">PinkedOff</a> says:</p><blockquote> <p>Parties are never ruined by too much cake. Wife prefers cheesecake, isn&#39;t a fan of chocolate cake. She should have reserved buying cheesecakes for HER birthday, and let OP bake his own cake, as he offered.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Guy asks if he was wrong for baking bday cake after wife got flavor he didn't want.

AITA because I baked my own birthday cake after my wife bought one? For my(32M) birthday I always like one specific kind of cake a chocolate-covered cherry cake. My mom or dad always made it for me since it wasn&#39;t one of the available flavors at any bakeries or stores near where we grew up.  When I moved away I started to make it myself. I&#39;ve been married to my wife just under a year but we&#39;ve been together for 6 years so she knows all about this cake. During that time we&#39;ve either baked it together, my parents made it, or I&#39;ve made it on my own. I&#39;ve never asked or expected her to do it.  Before my birthday this year my wife asked me what kind of cake I wanted. Same kind as always but she told me she didn&#39;t feel like baking. I told her she didn&#39;t need to worry about baking it because I can just do it myself.  She asked me a second time and I gave her the same answer. The day before my birthday I get home from work and have all the ingredients to make my cake. Go to get something out of the fridge and there&#39;s a pair of cheesecakes in there with &#39;Happy Birthday&#39; written between them both.  I asked my wife about it and she said those were the cakes for my party the next day and she thought of switching things up this year since &quot;everyone loves cheesecake&quot;.  I don&#39;t hate it but she gets cheesecakes at least once a month. I only ever have the cherry cake on my birthday. I told her I appreciate it and they look good but I really want the cake I like so I was going to make mine and we&#39;ll just let everyone have a choice of what cake they want.  She got pissed off and yelled that I ruined her attempt to make things easier on us by not having to bake and bringing cake that everyone would love. It&#39;s been two days since the party and she was cold at the party and is still acting cold.  Usually I move mountains and heaven to give her the things she wants on her birthdays and celebrate how she wants, I just wanted one specific cake for mine. AITA? Comments:Liseyloop123 says: NTA, like at all! This cake sounds amazing, can you share the recipe, pretty please? Whole_Ferret9774 OP responded: Its really easy! Chocolate cake mix (or from scratch if you want), cherries (whole or maraschino), almond extract, whipped cream, cherry pie filling, chocolate sauce, and a bit of rum.  Make the cake mix and then add the cherries, rum, and almond extract. Mix it really well, put it in a cake pan and bake it.  I top it off with a whipped cream icing. Mix the cherry pie filling in it, slather on the cake and then drizzle the chocolate sauce over it. I use the regular chocolate cake mix so the chocolate doesn&#39;t get overwhelming. GimmeUrNachos says: Your birthday, your party! It sounds like you were kind about the whole thing, so I don&#39;t even get why she is so angry about the cake you wanted. Many people have something they love that reminds them of mom or home or when they were a child and it stirs up some nice memories to recreate it when we can.  Maybe it&#39;s a mom thing?? Is she cool with your mom? Are there any feelings of resentment or jealousy there? Do you have other things that you do frequently that &quot;mom used to do?&quot; Just a few thoughts...the only thing I can think of as to why she&#39;d be so upset!  The best thing I can say is talk to her...find out why she is so angry and listen to what she has to say. Don&#39;t settle for &quot;I just don&#39;t get why you have to....&quot; There is something there...dig it out of her! Whole_Ferret9774 OP responded: My wife gets along alright with my mom. The cake isn&#39;t really a &#39;mom used to do&#39;, she knows both of my parents used to make it. I&#39;d say I do more things that my dad does or used to do but they&#39;re more hobby related. SilentSnortingCrack says: NTA but I feel like there&#39;s something missing here. Is there a reason she seems to dislike the cake? Does she like it the other times? I don&#39;t know, since it seems like she had no problem baking it with you before, then something seems off here. Whole_Ferret9774 OP responded: She hasn&#39;t complained about it prior but I do know she&#39;s not a big fan of chocolate. SamSpayedPI says: I N F O: Did you tear the kitchen apart baking your cake, and make a huge mess that you expected her to clean up?  If not, NTA. Surely it&#39;s not too much to ask that you bake your own cake for your own birthday.  I can understand not wanting a big mess in the kitchen a day before having a big party. But if you took care of the mess yourself (cleaned to her (party) standards, not yours), I can&#39;t see what the big deal is. Whole_Ferret9774 OP responded: No I clean as I go whenever I cook or bake something. Suitable-Cod-1381 says: NTA and it&#39;s weird for her to have even bothered asking what kind of cake you want if she was going to ignore you and choose her favorite cake instead. Also I&#39;ve never heard of a party being ruined by too much cake, that&#39;s patently absurd. Is she weirdly controlling about other things as well or is this just because she&#39;s doesn&#39;t like chocolate cherry cake? I don&#39;t get it. PinkedOff says: Parties are never ruined by too much cake. Wife prefers cheesecake, isn&#39;t a fan of chocolate cake. She should have reserved buying cheesecakes for HER birthday, and let OP bake his own cake, as he offered. 

AITA because I baked my own birthday cake after my wife bought one?   For my(32M) birthday I always like one specific kind of cake a chocolate-covered cherry cake. My mom or dad always made it for me since it wasn&#39;t one of the...