Guy calls wife 'f*ing unbearable'; says they can't afford the therapy she wants.

My wife has sensory issues. She's never been to a doctor for these issues so it's truly self diagnosed. She thinks that since she hates loud noises and doesn't like being looked.

Not trying to discredit her or anything, but it's over the top some days. Like if two people are talking at once she gets super overwhelmed and irritated. Or as mentioned above, if anyone or any thing is looking at her, she gets self conscious and pissed off.

On to the real issue. I got a dog about a year ago. Her name is Lola and she is a Corgi. She's very energetic and needy, but training is going well. My wife has a cat, whom we have had for like 4 years I believe.

She has always had a problem with my dog. Reason being is the fact that my dog is needy. She loves being touched. She wants to follow us everywhere. She whines when she wants attention She will sleep on any article of clothing we have on the floor that has our scent before sleeping on her dog bed/kennel.

She is constantly sniffing the air/floor whenever we are eating and often sniffs the trash can or litter box. But my wife has an issue with most of these behaviors. Mostly the whining, but due to the resentment she has gone from the whining, she takes issue with the dog sleeping on our clothing or even sniffing around whenever we have food. It irritates her to no end.

So like whenever the dog starts walking around sniffing us when eating, my wife uses an irritated tone to tell her to get out of the room. Or whenever my wife sees her sleeping on our clothing, she immediately takes the clothes away and says she is 'f**king sick' of constantly having dog hair on her clothing. I could almost understand if she didn't get as pissed as she does.

On to the big problem...yesterday we ate dinner in our bedroom while watching a movie. As soon as Lola saw we had food she came out of her kennel and started sniffing the air and dead pan staring at us while we ate and whined a few times. My wife starts fidgeting but doesn't say anything.

Lola starts inching closer to us while staring at my wife because my wife was closest. My wife looks at me and says 'you want to speak to her? Since you get pissed whenever I do.' I told her to just ignore her and act like she isn't there.

So my wife just gets up with her plate and says 'I don't f**king want a dog staring at me while I'm eating! I don't even like it when people stare at me so why should I change how I feel or fake it till I make it to accommodate to your dog?'

I told her she was being f**king unbearable. She takes off and doesn't come home. I'm being told I'm an AH for disrespecting my wife's feelings. AITA?

ETA: I don't want this pushed solely off in my favor here so there are a few things I want to point out:

I want legit judgement, not biased.

My wife wants to get in to therapy, but we are trying to save for a house so it's my fault that she hasn't gotten it.

I have mentioned a few times whenever she suggests it that we are trying to save for a house, so that is my fault that she hasn't yet been to therapy. She will get her therapy eventually however.

As for the clothing on the floor issue.. my wife is very tidy. None of her clothing are ever originally on the floor but mine are. Lola does reach up and take my wife's clothing off of the hooks in the closet and makes nests out of them. We do not have a closet door.

Comments:

galafael5814 says:

YTA.

I was on your side at first, but your comments have changed that. You won't let your wife seek professional help for her issues because you want to save for a house instead, even though PROFESSIONAL HELP WOULD LITERALLY CHANGE HER LIFE. You got a dog you were pretty sure she didn't even want and now are not training her at all.

Get a divorce. You clearly don't like your wife, much less love her.

vorrhin says:

Also autistic here and your wife absolutely sounds like she is. YTA for a number of reasons. Train your dog. Support your wife in getting help. Stop gaslighting her.

AgreeableChemistry79 says:

YTA, gotta teach that dog not to beg when you are eating. I send mine directly to his bed when we sit down to eat and yes, he still watches from a distance but it’s far less annoying than having him trying to get closer and closer.

I also recommend teaching your dog “out of the kitchen” which I use when I’m cooking and don’t want him underfoot or getting in my way.

Also, I just read your edit, get a baby gate to block your closet dude. You have to make the experience livable for everyone, and the dog is just acting like a dog with no boundaries or guidelines.

Everythingbutmyears says:

CHANGING TO YTA BECAUSE YOU ARE PREVENTING YOUR WIFE FROM GETTING HELP.

You told your wife she was f$&@ing unbearable for sensory issues that you acknowledge are likely legit, albeit not professionally diagnosed? Assuming that her sensory issues are legit, you’re an AH for your response to her. She clearly would benefit from some professional help, though, and she’s an AH for justifying her actions without doing anything to work on them.

EDIT: changing e.s.h. to YTA because you failed to mention until the comments that she WANTS help but you’ve told her to wait so that you can save money for a house.

jammy913 says:

ESH except the dog who is acting like a dog. Your wife is being over the top and probably needs a professional to weigh in on these matters. You really shouldn't say that crap to your wife.