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Man doesn't want to share dinner he's been daydreaming about; his wife is annoyed. AITA?

Man doesn't want to share dinner he's been daydreaming about; his wife is annoyed. AITA?


"AITA for not wanting to share my dinner with my wife?"

I'm sitting here half annoyed half confused about how to feel. Here is my situation: My wife did not work today. Has been hanging with the kids all day. I got home from work at 530 and did a turn and burn to jujitsu class. Dinner was not discussed but since I was getting home at 830 from I assumed I was on my own for dinner.

I get back at 830 absolutely starving and exhausted. I had been planning my dinner all day: poor man's sushi (it's just canned tuna, rice wrapped in seaweed). I write down everything I eat in a food log and had planned this dinner in advance. I had the exact amount of rice and only two sheets of seaweed. I get home and my wife and kids are in the bathroom taking a bath so I get to work on my sushi.

I have the entire thing written down and I'm ready to feast. I'm giddy with excitement sitting down at the table. All the sudden, my wife comes out and into the kitchen and says 'can I have half of that? Me and the kids went out for a late lunch and I haven't eaten.'

I pause. Obviously not happy with this news. I don't want to share but I also acknowledge that hogging down all the food would be selfish. So she notices the pause and goes 'fine I guess I'll just figure something out' in a pissy tone. I go 'no no no we can split it.' And give her half. I go on to explain my situation but I don't think she cared. She was annoyed that I even paused.

Now I only had half my dinner and am still hungry. I can't imagine asking for half of someone's food as they are just sitting down to eat. But I also can't imagine not sharing it. I can't decide how to feel. That's the story.

People had pretty strong opinions about OP's perspective.

BrizzleBearPig wrote:

YTA. Not for the food thing - ESH. Both people have a right to feel annoyed at that situation and I hope you work out shared responsibilities for food in the household if needed. Also what the heck did the kids have for dinner...?! But back to my point, YTA for talking about her day like spending it with the kids is just leisure time.

It sounds like she was kept just as busy as you and only got a break in her day after giving the kids a bath. She sounded desperate and likely needed that food just as much as you did. Hope you can try to see the situation from her perspective.

Professional-Clue-62 wrote:

YTA. She was hungry because she was busy with the kids all day and didn’t get a chance to eat. You both could have done better, but YTA for not recognizing how difficult and exhausting it is to be home all day with kids.

Most-Particular-8392 wrote:

YTA. Imagine calling what she does 'hanging with the kids all day' when they evidently kept her so busy that she hasn't had time to eat. At least you got 3 hours + prep time to yourself. Either you stayed hungry after your half of the dinner because neither of you could be bothered to as much as make a sandwich, or there's no other food in the house. Either way, you don't come out looking great.

Start talking with your wife about your dinner plans and coordinate your days. This could all have been avoided if you'd just taken the time to think about and check in with her and the kids before heading into the kitchen.

Fair-boysenberry6745 wrote:

YTA for making an assumption instead of taking 10 seconds to check in with her about dinner before you left. You also could have called on the way home to see if she needed anything. I get trying to get to class on time, but it would have taken a few moments to ask “Am I on my own for dinner tonight or do you want me to stop and get you something on my way home?”

MizZo2 wrote:

YTA- how do you have children with this women and not have learned to communicate or have a plan in place for days like this? I’m assuming this nearly 3 hour long class isn’t a spur of the minute thing. If it’s weekly or monthly or whatever how is there not an SOP between you and your wife for how dinner is handled those nights?

You have a food journal where you write down every meal in advanced but you can’t make a plan with you wife? In lieu of a plan how about even an ounce of communication. “Hey wife, since I have class till 830 should I assume I’m on my own for dinner or do I need to pick something up for for the family?”

How about a text earlier in the day saying you’re looking forward to this solo meal? So you can say “Hey honey I just got home and making my sushi, did you have dinner or can I make you something too since your bathing our children?” Also, at no point do you mention speaking to your wife till she approached you in the kitchen. Dude. Talk. To. Your. Wife.

Sources: Reddit
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