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Man neglects wife on Mother's Day, asks what they're doing for Father's Day, she snaps.

Man neglects wife on Mother's Day, asks what they're doing for Father's Day, she snaps.


Being forced to beg a partner to do something special for you is a horrible feeling, and in most cases, a major red flag about the state of the relationship.

While not all partners are equally good at creative gift-giving, there's a major difference between being less inspired and making zero effort to celebrate your partner. The latter can quickly turn into a corrosive and tension-filled dynamic.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she's wrong for telling her husband she's not doing anything for his birthday or Father's Day after he majorly dropped the ball on Mother's Day.

She wrote:

AITA for telling my husband he isn’t getting anything for his birthday or Father’s Day?

They fall on the same day this year. My (26F) husband (26M) has failed so miserably at making any holiday special that this year my family stepped in on Mother’s Day and rescued me from feeling forgotten about and lied to again.

My husband has never done anything on any special day regardless of whether it’s Valentine’s Day or my birthday, yet always promises that he won’t forget this time or he’ll finally care enough to try. Normally he blames it on our financial situation but this has never sat right with me as I feel like I’ve always been extremely cautious of our budget and know I have never asked for anything outside of our means.

This means on holidays I have asked for things like a handwritten note, flowers, a $20 necklace from Etsy for my birthday, a date night for the first time in two years, I’ve even asked for protein powder because I know we can’t afford it on a regular basis.

My husband always forgets and either scrambles day of after I realize he did nothing again or tells me we’ll do something later or the most painful, that because we were fighting too much he didn’t want to.

My dad bailed him out for Mother’s Day this year after I found out that the dinner I planned and reserved for myself back in March (because he wouldn’t do it) hasn’t been budgeted for, and my husband cancelled on me the morning of.

My dad paid for our dinner, drove two hours and watched our son for free, and then had us over on Mother’s Day and made me a beautiful brunch. It was so kind but also so uncomfortable because the mood of the house the entire time was “I did this for you because he never will.” My mom even pulled me aside and asked if I was okay and I broke down in tears.

During this conversation is when the food started to be ready and my husband made himself a plate and started eating before my dad, my mom, me, and even our baby. This enraged my mom because I’m 5 months pregnant and couldn’t eat my own brunch because I was helping my 11-month-old with his food while my husband was helping himself.

My husband asked what the plans will be for his birthday/father’s day and I told him that we will do whatever he wants as long as his dad pays for it and I will happily eat whatever he wants as long as his dad makes it. My husband got really upset with me and said that was an evil thing to say because his family lives out of state so they can’t do what my dad did.

Now I’m feeling guilty about saying that, but I really do believe it’s his family’s turn to foot the bill and it’s their turn to make “his” day special since mine had to do it for him.

Reddit had strong feelings about this one.

sunnydays0306 wrote:

NTA - but why do you keep doing this to yourself? He’s clearly not changing and yet you decided to procreate again with this man. Y T A to yourself for staying with someone who is this selfish. Eventually, this thoughtlessness will go on to your kids too, and what kind of example is he setting? Not to mention things are getting resentful and spiteful, and that’s not a healthy environment for anyone.

I think it’s time to take a hard look at where you see this going. It’s not supposed to be like this, your partner is supposed to love and support you, and make a d*mn effort.

Odd_Knowledge_2146 wrote:

My sister was married to a man like this. She would come to our house and cry her heart out every year because her husband hadn’t given her a card or anything. We tried reminding him, and he shouted at my sister to tell us to stop f**king nagging him. Her children reached about 6 years old and started saying mom's birthday is the worst day because everyone is so sad.

'Why does mom cry on her birthday, why is dad so mean to mom on her birthday.' Do you see what this is going, to you, and your children? It’s not the coat, it’s the lack of care, lack of love, and lack of kindness. This is what you are getting, and it is what your children will see. You are NTA, but I’m telling you that you deserve better. You deserve to be loved.

Fluxuates wrote:

NTA, I would divorce this guy ASAP. Life's too short to deal with this much crap.

Various-Bridge-325 wrote:

NTA. Why are you even with this man? He clearly doesn't seem to care about you or your feelings and this is not a once or twice off scenario. He does not care on each special day. The fact that he started eating on Mothers Day before you and the rest of your family shows a total lack of respect for both you and your family. Let him sort out his own Birthday, Fathers Day and life for that matter. You deserve better.

OP is certainly NTA, but she does need to run far, far away from this man.

Sources: Reddit
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