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Man refuses to leave house during wife's 'no men allowed' book club.

Man refuses to leave house during wife's 'no men allowed' book club.


My wife has a weekly book club with her friends, and I'm really happy that she takes the time to enjoy her hobbies and connect with friends.

The issue is that she volunteered to host the club in our home, and I'm not allowed to be there while they're meeting. While I don't mind busying myself for an hour once in a while, they meet weekly for three to four hours at a time.

She says there's a 'no men' rule because the women share private things with each other, which I understand and respect, but I also don't think it's fair for them to expect me to get kicked out of my own home for most of my weekend.

Especially since I work six days a week (we both work, but I work more days), and I only have that one Saturday off. I also prefer to spend the extra time playing video games, so it's not like I can just take my computer to Starbucks with me.

I've offered to put on headphones and stay in the bedroom, but she says the women will still 'feel my presence'.

I've asked if the women could take turns hosting, but she says all of the women have reasons why they can't host (including, which I thought was kind of irritating, some of their husbands not wanting to leave the home for so many hours).

I've also asked if they could meet at a coffee shop, and even offered to help pay for them to rent a meeting room somewhere, but she said they felt more comfortable in a home.

This has been going on for two months now, and last week I told my wife I couldn't keep this up any more and she had to find a solution herself (because I've given her so many options already), and gave her the heads up that I wasn't leaving this weekend.

I think she thought I was bluffing, but come Saturday, I stayed home. Out of respect, I stayed in the bedroom when everyone came over, but they knew I was there and I could tell the meeting got cut short because of that. My wife and I had a huge row afterwards, and here we are now. She's not talking to me, and I'm pretty pissed, but I'm not sure who's really in the wrong here.

EDIT: Because some have asked, my wife and I do spend time together on my day off. We usually get breakfast, go to the market, etc. And after the book club she likes to go out for dinner, movie, etc. But I need some of my own private time too, which is why I want to play video games for a couple of hours in between.

My wife also picked the day because it's the only day all of her other friends are free as well (some have kids, church, etc.) which is why Saturday is the only day they can all meet together.

Here's what people say:

Nessie51 says:

NTA. You are right, it’s a bit much to be kicked out the house every week, you have offered compromises and it’s not been well received- that makes your wife TA. I reckon you should arrange a boys night with sport and all and say to her she needs to leave ….

Aspen_Pass says:

You're at work SIX DAYS and the ONLY DAY your wife can host a book club that takes up A THIRD OF THE DAY is your day off????? My man. Your wife does not want you around. This is intentional.

loversdreamersandme says:

What kind of book club meets once a week and lasts 3-4 hours every time? This is excessive and disrespectful to OP.

dixhuit_tacos says:

I was in a book club that was more of a 'drink wine and gossip' club. This sounds like that.

vitaminseagaul says:

I can't stand when my friends have their husbands around when it's supposed to be us girls, but I don't understand why anyone would be bothered by you playing video games in another room. Especially if you stay in there the whole time.

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