Marriage

<h2>'AITA for refusing to show my husband the rest of the ultrasound photos of our baby?'</h2><blockquote> <p>I (26f) am married to &ldquo;bill&rdquo; (30m). We are expecting our first child together in three weeks but I have an 8 year old from a previous relationship.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>To put it lightly Bill has no filter whatsoever. It&rsquo;s extremely annoying at times since I&rsquo;m someone that over thinks everything and will go over what I&rsquo;m about to say 10 times before it leaves my mouth to make sure it&rsquo;s not rude, he thinks there might be something wrong with him because he doesn&rsquo;t understand social cues and is pretty awkward but won&rsquo;t get it checked or anything.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Today I went for an appointment and they did a 4d ultrasound because they haven&rsquo;t been able to see his face lately due to him always sucking his thumb. I&rsquo;ve never had a 4d ultrasound before and was so excited to see my baby.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Of course like all 4d ultrasounds the baby looked like a crisp lasagna when you don&rsquo;t know what you&rsquo;re looking at but still cute and exciting seeing your baby and all their facial features for the first time. I got home and waited for Bill to come home so I could show him the photos and videos.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I have him sit down and I clicked on the best clearest photo we got to show him first (a few photos he had his hand up or was at a bad angle or the umbilical cord was giving him a handlebar mustache) he looks at the photo and I&rsquo;m pointing out there&rsquo;s his eyes and nose and mouth etc and the first thing out of his mouth is &ldquo;wow he&rsquo;s ugly.&rdquo;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Immediately I get mad, lock my phone and refuse to show him any other photos. He asked if that was the only photo I got and I said &ldquo;no I got more but why tf would I show them to you if you&rsquo;re just going to sit there and call my baby ugly?</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>I was so excited to show you these and you&rsquo;ve completely ruined the moment because you don&rsquo;t know how to shut your damn mouth&rdquo; he looked shocked that I was mad and said it&rsquo;s fair game because I call the baby names all the time (when I&rsquo;m in a ton of pain I will say things like &ldquo;this little sh*t won&rsquo;t get out of my ribs&rdquo;).</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I told him it was completely different and he claims it&rsquo;s not and he should be allowed to call the baby ugly and also said hopefully that&rsquo;s not how he&rsquo;ll look when he comes out.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I just refused to show him any more photos and told him to get out of the room. He&rsquo;s mad that I won&rsquo;t show him the rest and still doesn&rsquo;t understand why I&rsquo;m upset. I am pregnant so maybe it&rsquo;s just hormones getting to me so AITA? Did I overreact or is he just an idiot?</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Info from OP after reading comments:</h2><blockquote> <p>1. &ldquo;Is he on the spectrum&rdquo; We don&rsquo;t know. He and I have both stated that might be the case but he refuses to get tested because he&rsquo;s scared he might be. I understand this is an issue but I can&rsquo;t force him to go. I&rsquo;ve encouraged him as much as I can and as often as I can but he doesn&rsquo;t want to get a diagnosis.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>2. &ldquo;He was joking&rdquo; unfortunately he was not. I poked fun at these types of ultrasounds in my post. I can joke around about it easily the problem is he did not say it in any slight amount of a joking away it was &ldquo;wow he&rsquo;s ugly&rdquo; 100% serious and matter a fact. This was a final straw moment for me because I&rsquo;ve been on him for the past two weeks about his comments like that about people others. He&rsquo;s been saying very shallow judgmental things and I don&rsquo;t think it&rsquo;s right</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>3. &ldquo;You shouldn&rsquo;t call the baby &lsquo;my baby&rsquo; it&rsquo;s both of yours&rdquo; I understand where you&rsquo;re coming from but there&rsquo;s a reason I called him my baby. We got married agree we wanted to try for a baby and tried for several months, this was not a surprise and we both decided we wanted a baby. After I got pregnant any single little &ldquo;ow&rdquo; &ldquo;that was uncomfortable&rdquo;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m throwing up blood from all this morning sickness&rdquo; or anything that wasn&rsquo;t just absolute praise to the baby I was to &ldquo;well you wanted this&rdquo; every time. I explained how much I didn&rsquo;t like him saying that because it sounds like I&rsquo;m the only one that wants the baby and he doesn&rsquo;t give a shit and still says it.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>We &ldquo;compromised&rdquo; and as a running joke now I call him &ldquo;my baby because I&rsquo;m the one that wanted him&rdquo; when talking about the baby Bill will often say &ldquo;my boy&rdquo; or our baby I never corrected him or have ever said no it&rsquo;s my baby not yours because it&rsquo;s not that serious but that&rsquo;s why I said &ldquo;my baby&rdquo; in the post</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>4. A ton of comments are saying I&rsquo;m tah because &ldquo;babies are ugly&rdquo; if you can look your excited pregnant wife in the eyes as she&rsquo;s expressing her joy over seeing the baby that you guys will be holding in just a few short weeks and respond with its ugly then you are the problem</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>there&rsquo;s a million other things you can say and now after I give birth on what should be an amazing moment I&rsquo;m going to be scared that he&rsquo;s going to say that again instead of focusing on my baby I&rsquo;m going to worry if my husband is thinking the baby&rsquo;s ugly. Luckily thanks to some lovely redditors I have the comeback &ldquo;he looks just like you&rdquo; in my pocket now.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>I&rsquo;ve answered a lot in the comments please just look for my replies but I wanted to point out that I wasn&rsquo;t a joke, I said my baby for a reason, and he might be on the spectrum but refuses to get tested. I didn&rsquo;t show him the rest of the photos because I showed him the best one you could see his face and chubby cheeks perfectly it didn&rsquo;t look creepy or weird.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>So if he could look at the best picture and say eww why would I show him the rest that have his hand in the way or shot a bad angle? There&rsquo;s no point in me having to get my feelings repeatedly hurt just so he can see photos that are considered mess ups anyway</p> </blockquote><h2>Here&#39;s what people had to say to OP:</h2><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/OnthelookoutNTac/" target="_blank">OnthelookoutNTac</a> writes:</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>NAH - if you were upset by what he said, I can understand why you wouldn&rsquo;t want to show him more. But, let&rsquo;s be honest, those photos are creepy AF.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/One_Appearance245/" target="_blank">One_Appearance245</a> OP responded:</p><blockquote> <p>I have seen a handful that are extremely creepy that&rsquo;s why I wasn&rsquo;t going to pay for a 4d ultrasound but they did it for free and I got a good laugh out of the umbilical cord handlebar mustache one.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Littleballoffur22/" target="_blank">Littleballoffur22</a> writs:</p><blockquote> <p>I&rsquo;d be pushing him to get a diagnosis for what is an obvious problem. Blurting out hurtful and stupid things can damage people, like your kids later on. Also when I saw my granddaughter on her 3D ultrasound I was appalled at her horribly large nose. It was half her face. Luckily it was normal after all, but I kept my horror to myself. Your husband needs to learn that trick. NTA</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/dibblechibbs/" target="_blank">dibblechibbs</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>Why did you have a baby with this guy?</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/One_Appearance245/" target="_blank">One_Appearance245</a> OP responded:</p><blockquote> <p>Lots of things have changed since getting married.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Colt_kun/" target="_blank">Colt_kun</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>Anytime someone claims they have no filter, and they hold a job? They&#39;re lying. Because they don&#39;t blurt that kind of stuff out in front of customers or their boss.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Regardless, it sounds like you two might need couple counseling bc this is all a little petty. But overall, you&#39;re NTA for being mad about him insulting your (as in both of you) baby.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Man sees ultrasound, says, 'wow, he's ugly'; wife is furious, asks, 'is he an idiot?'

Amy Goldberg

'AITA for refusing to show my husband the rest of the ultrasound photos of our baby?' I (26f) am married to &ldquo;bill&rdquo; (30m). We are expecting our first child together in three weeks but I have an 8 year old from a previous relationship.  To put it lightly Bill has no filter whatsoever. It&rsquo;s extremely annoying at times since I&rsquo;m someone that over thinks everything and will go over what I&rsquo;m about to say 10 times before it leaves my mouth to make sure it&rsquo;s not rude, he thinks there might be something wrong with him because he doesn&rsquo;t understand social cues and is pretty awkward but won&rsquo;t get it checked or anything.  Today I went for an appointment and they did a 4d ultrasound because they haven&rsquo;t been able to see his face lately due to him always sucking his thumb. I&rsquo;ve never had a 4d ultrasound before and was so excited to see my baby.  Of course like all 4d ultrasounds the baby looked like a crisp lasagna when you don&rsquo;t know what you&rsquo;re looking at but still cute and exciting seeing your baby and all their facial features for the first time. I got home and waited for Bill to come home so I could show him the photos and videos.  I have him sit down and I clicked on the best clearest photo we got to show him first (a few photos he had his hand up or was at a bad angle or the umbilical cord was giving him a handlebar mustache) he looks at the photo and I&rsquo;m pointing out there&rsquo;s his eyes and nose and mouth etc and the first thing out of his mouth is &ldquo;wow he&rsquo;s ugly.&rdquo;  Immediately I get mad, lock my phone and refuse to show him any other photos. He asked if that was the only photo I got and I said &ldquo;no I got more but why tf would I show them to you if you&rsquo;re just going to sit there and call my baby ugly?  I was so excited to show you these and you&rsquo;ve completely ruined the moment because you don&rsquo;t know how to shut your damn mouth&rdquo; he looked shocked that I was mad and said it&rsquo;s fair game because I call the baby names all the time (when I&rsquo;m in a ton of pain I will say things like &ldquo;this little sh*t won&rsquo;t get out of my ribs&rdquo;).  I told him it was completely different and he claims it&rsquo;s not and he should be allowed to call the baby ugly and also said hopefully that&rsquo;s not how he&rsquo;ll look when he comes out.  I just refused to show him any more photos and told him to get out of the room. He&rsquo;s mad that I won&rsquo;t show him the rest and still doesn&rsquo;t understand why I&rsquo;m upset. I am pregnant so maybe it&rsquo;s just hormones getting to me so AITA? Did I overreact or is he just an idiot? Info from OP after reading comments: 1. &ldquo;Is he on the spectrum&rdquo; We don&rsquo;t know. He and I have both stated that might be the case but he refuses to get tested because he&rsquo;s scared he might be. I understand this is an issue but I can&rsquo;t force him to go. I&rsquo;ve encouraged him as much as I can and as often as I can but he doesn&rsquo;t want to get a diagnosis.  2. &ldquo;He was joking&rdquo; unfortunately he was not. I poked fun at these types of ultrasounds in my post. I can joke around about it easily the problem is he did not say it in any slight amount of a joking away it was &ldquo;wow he&rsquo;s ugly&rdquo; 100% serious and matter a fact. This was a final straw moment for me because I&rsquo;ve been on him for the past two weeks about his comments like that about people others. He&rsquo;s been saying very shallow judgmental things and I don&rsquo;t think it&rsquo;s right  3. &ldquo;You shouldn&rsquo;t call the baby &lsquo;my baby&rsquo; it&rsquo;s both of yours&rdquo; I understand where you&rsquo;re coming from but there&rsquo;s a reason I called him my baby. We got married agree we wanted to try for a baby and tried for several months, this was not a surprise and we both decided we wanted a baby. After I got pregnant any single little &ldquo;ow&rdquo; &ldquo;that was uncomfortable&rdquo;  &ldquo;I&rsquo;m throwing up blood from all this morning sickness&rdquo; or anything that wasn&rsquo;t just absolute praise to the baby I was to &ldquo;well you wanted this&rdquo; every time. I explained how much I didn&rsquo;t like him saying that because it sounds like I&rsquo;m the only one that wants the baby and he doesn&rsquo;t give a shit and still says it.  We &ldquo;compromised&rdquo; and as a running joke now I call him &ldquo;my baby because I&rsquo;m the one that wanted him&rdquo; when talking about the baby Bill will often say &ldquo;my boy&rdquo; or our baby I never corrected him or have ever said no it&rsquo;s my baby not yours because it&rsquo;s not that serious but that&rsquo;s why I said &ldquo;my baby&rdquo; in the post  4. A ton of comments are saying I&rsquo;m tah because &ldquo;babies are ugly&rdquo; if you can look your excited pregnant wife in the eyes as she&rsquo;s expressing her joy over seeing the baby that you guys will be holding in just a few short weeks and respond with its ugly then you are the problem  there&rsquo;s a million other things you can say and now after I give birth on what should be an amazing moment I&rsquo;m going to be scared that he&rsquo;s going to say that again instead of focusing on my baby I&rsquo;m going to worry if my husband is thinking the baby&rsquo;s ugly. Luckily thanks to some lovely redditors I have the comeback &ldquo;he looks just like you&rdquo; in my pocket now.  I&rsquo;ve answered a lot in the comments please just look for my replies but I wanted to point out that I wasn&rsquo;t a joke, I said my baby for a reason, and he might be on the spectrum but refuses to get tested. I didn&rsquo;t show him the rest of the photos because I showed him the best one you could see his face and chubby cheeks perfectly it didn&rsquo;t look creepy or weird.  So if he could look at the best picture and say eww why would I show him the rest that have his hand in the way or shot a bad angle? There&rsquo;s no point in me having to get my feelings repeatedly hurt just so he can see photos that are considered mess ups anyway Here&#39;s what people had to say to OP:OnthelookoutNTac writes: NAH - if you were upset by what he said, I can understand why you wouldn&rsquo;t want to show him more. But, let&rsquo;s be honest, those photos are creepy AF.  One_Appearance245 OP responded: I have seen a handful that are extremely creepy that&rsquo;s why I wasn&rsquo;t going to pay for a 4d ultrasound but they did it for free and I got a good laugh out of the umbilical cord handlebar mustache one. Littleballoffur22 writs: I&rsquo;d be pushing him to get a diagnosis for what is an obvious problem. Blurting out hurtful and stupid things can damage people, like your kids later on. Also when I saw my granddaughter on her 3D ultrasound I was appalled at her horribly large nose. It was half her face. Luckily it was normal after all, but I kept my horror to myself. Your husband needs to learn that trick. NTA dibblechibbs writes: Why did you have a baby with this guy? One_Appearance245 OP responded: Lots of things have changed since getting married. Colt_kun writes: Anytime someone claims they have no filter, and they hold a job? They&#39;re lying. Because they don&#39;t blurt that kind of stuff out in front of customers or their boss.  Regardless, it sounds like you two might need couple counseling bc this is all a little petty. But overall, you&#39;re NTA for being mad about him insulting your (as in both of you) baby. 

'AITA for refusing to show my husband the rest of the ultrasound photos of our baby?'   I (26f) am married to &ldquo;bill&rdquo; (30m). We are expecting our first child together in three weeks but I have an 8 year old from a previous...