Man called AH for vetoing wife's 'ridiculous' baby names; says, 'I want to protect her.'
'AITA for refusing to name my kid a ridiculous name?'
My (28m) wife (27f) is pregnant with our first baby, and I’m so thrilled to be a father! We recently had some scans, and found out that it’s a girl. We had an agreement that we wouldn’t talk about names until we knew the gender, so of course on our way home from the gynecologist, we immediately started discussing.
We’ve talked about this a little before, and we agreed that we both have veto power. I suggested my all time favorite name, Anna. My wife suggested Caeleigh (pronounced Kailey, and yes she spelled it out). I vetoed it.
She suggested another name, Ryleigh (Riley, and again she did spell it out). I vetoed it and suggested Riley spelled the normal way. She refused.
She then suggested Novalynn. I vetoed, suggesting Nora as an alternative. She again refused.
This continued a few more times, until she snapped at me, calling me unreasonable for vetoing all her picks. She said, “What’s the point in talking about it if you veto all my choices, you controlling a**hole!” I responded “Maybe if you picked something normal, we might get somewhere, but you won’t even try to compromise!” She looked really hurt, and we drove the rest of the way home in silence.
Now I’m wondering if I’m in the wrong for vetoing her picks and for what I said to her. AITA?
Q&A with OP:
Ok-Individual-6328 asks:
Info: what is her nationality (Irish names tend to be spelled differently)
NeverlyLane OP responded:
She’s white-American from the midwest
Capital_Barber_9219 asks:
Do you live in Utah?
NeverlyLane OP responded:
We are in Montana, but I’m from Utah and I have seen every spelling and combination of lynn, leigh, and ae that can be imagined. That’s what I want to protect my daughter from.
Msp1278 asks:
Here's my question: Are you saying no to her names, or are you saying no to the spellings? Although Novalynn??? Why?!?!
NeverlyLane OP responded:
For Caeleigh and Ryleigh it’s the spelling, tho neither Kailey or Riley are my taste, I’d take them over her spellings any day. Novalynn it’s just the name itself. It’s the noun nova with Lynn tacked on to the end, and I can’t stand it.
The_Hip_Raise says:
There are a lot of names that are more regular spelling but not used very often. Just thinking of some of my aunts, Lucille, June, Charlotte, Addie Lee, Evelyn, Imogen, Emma, Samantha, Alexandra, etc
NeverlyLane OP responded:
Hate to burst your bubble, but Charlotte, Evelyn, and Emma are all extremely popular right now. I appreciate the sentiment tho.
The_Hip_Raise replies:
No way! I haven't met any kids named Charlotte, Evelyn, or Emma.
Well I must admit, my aunts seem to like their names. Personally, I like Imogen.
NeverlyLane OP responded:
I’m not really a fan tbh, just not my taste, but I’ll take Imogen over Caeleigh any day.
ParisHiltonIsDope asks:
Answer this truthfully, why do you think all of her options are ridiculous?
NeverlyLane OP responded:
Caeleigh because it’s hard to spell and looks ugly written down, and I don’t even like Kailey to begin with. Ryleigh for much the same reasons. Novalynn I have more complicated reason, but mostly it’s because it’s a noun with Lynn stuck on the end.
Here's how people judged OP:
ParisHiltonIsDope writes:
YTA. You're obviously coming into this with a bias. She's coming to you with name options that are as real to her as your options are real to you.
And in your mind, you just think they're 'ridiculous' as if your opinions are the only ones are normal? That she's not capable of choosing a 'normal' name. That's a sh**ty way to approach a marriage let alone parenthood.
Tashkau writes:
YTA for vetoing all her suggestions. Your at week 20 or so. Still another 20 to go. You have lots of time to decide. Say what you dislike about her suggestions, but stop f**king vetoing. Leave the veto for when it actually is getting close to a decision. Idiot.
Cautious-Spited writes:
NTA. You’re doing your daughter a favor by vetoing these names.
Chickadee12345 writes:
I know, right. I have an unusual last name, it's only 6 letters, but I usually have to spell it 3 times. Thankfully my parents gave me a simple first name. I can't even imagine having to explain how to spell any of those names.
randomly-what writes:
I’m a teacher and judge every single parent who does this stupid crap to a child.
Reb-Lev writes:
Thank you for standing up for your unborn child. People should really stop naming their children traghedeighs and consider the fact that they will be adults one day. NTA