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'AITA for telling my pregnant wife to stop acting like a child?'

'AITA for telling my pregnant wife to stop acting like a child?'

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I (35m) and my wife (33f) are currently expecting our first child soon. I live in chronic pain due to a slew of health issues, I also work a job where I'm on my feet constantly. I can't get a new job right now due to personal reasons, bur I plan to as soon as possible.

My wife quit her job right after we found out we were expecting (we always planned this). The problem is, she's gotten really lazy. I understand pregnancy is hard, but it's gotten to the point she won't even make food or clean the house sometimes.

She's been wining and complaining constantly since the moment she took the test. She sounds like a child. (I'm hungry, I 'm sore, my head hurts, I'm sick, etc.) I understood these things are normal during pregnancy so as much as it annoyed me, I bit my tongue.

The second I'd get home every night, she'd want me to do something for her. She expected me to cook and clean as soon as I got home every night. The straw that broke the camels back happened a couple days ago.

I had just gotten home from a 10 hour shift, and was having a flair up. I just wanted to have a bath and relax because I was in so much pain.

I told her I've had a terrible day and to just doordash something. ( I rarely let her do this because those fees are fricking ridiculous so I thought it'd be a treat) but she said that she can only eat home-cooked meals and that everything else makes her sick. This is where I might be the a#$%ole.

I yelled at her and told her I've had the worst day and she needs to stop complaining and be an adult for once, she started crying. I immediately apologized over and over again but she left anyway.

A couple hours later my MIL called me and called me a misogynistic cunt and a slew of other names. I hung up because I don't need that. Now the beans are spilled and all the women in our family are mad at me and my wife still won't f**$#@g speak to me. So am I the a#&$^le?

Here's what people had to say:

ThinEscape511 says:

ESH. I lived with chronic pain and I've been pregnant. So I can compare. And it sounds like neither one of you want to actually be supportive, it's more of a competition of who has it worse.

mandym347 says:

Wife tips the scales for me by blabbing her marriage issues to her family and letting her mother harass her husband. That sh*t's not okay.

Primary-Criticism929 says:

I Wonder how they're going to handle an actual child, especially OP. His wife is probably going to expect him to help out with the baby as soon as he comes home and if he reacts about the baby as he does with the cooking and clearing....

RoseTyler38 says:

ESH. So you've got chronic health issues and shes pregnant. You need to come together and solve the problem as a team, the way you both agreed to do when you exchanged rings and said 'I do'.

Do the responsible adult thing and employ open, honest, direct and respectful communication to figure out a way to get things done in a way that suits everyone's needs.

Ocean_Spice says:

… NTA, and I’m going to try and say this as gently as possible, but it doesn’t really sound like you two should be having a kid.

Rare-Educator9692

YTA. She’s not your servant and she shouldn’t need you to “let” her access money. You may have chronic pain but you need to put in more supports asap. You may need a p/t nanny or perinatal doula.

OP responded:

She can access money, idc what she does most of the time. Doordash is one of the few things I don't want her buying.

I would go to a counsellor with your response printed out and ask for help in how you could approach this. A lot of control is coming through in your post and you seem to be open to feedback. This could save your marriage and provide more support for your child if you both get this help now.

Sources: Reddit
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