Marriage

<h2>AITA for telling my wife she was causing a scene and not defending her with my mom?</h2><blockquote> <p>I (42) have a step daughter &#39;Liz&#39; (17) from my wife &#39;Kate&#39; (42) first marriage. Me and Kate also have a daughter &#39;Emma&#39; (3) together. Liz doesn&#39;t call me dad and usually refers to me as Mr my last name.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I&#39;ll be honest that this bothered me a little, but this is what Liz feels comfortable with so I never pushed it. We&#39;re not close, but we have a good relationship overall, and she loves Emma.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>We weren&#39;t able to get together with my side of the family over Christmas, so my family had a late Christmas/New Year&#39;s gathering where my mom gave her Christmas gifts for the grandkids. She got Emma some toys and Liz a sketch pad (she&#39;s an artist so it&#39;s not a random gift).</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Liz (and Kate, my wife) were disappointed, and Kate pulled my mom aside later (I was around) to say she shouldn&#39;t have given the gifts out in front of everyone and Liz is hurt.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Basically my mom ended up saying that she went out of her way to get Liz a gift as a grandma, when Liz doesn&#39;t even consider me any kind of father figure. If they (Liz and Kate) have such an issue with the gifts, they can go ask Liz&#39;s real father for a gift.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Kate didn&#39;t take that comment well and caused a bit of a scene, and said my mom has &quot;no respect&quot; for them. I tried to calm it down, and I did tell mom she was being a little harsh. I also told Kate she was causing a scene and blowing this up for no reason, and that she was the one nitpicking about gifts and mom just responded to her.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Kate was angry and said I should&#39;ve defended her. It&#39;s been a couple of weeks and she&#39;s still a little upset with me. I don&#39;t think I&#39;m really in the wrong here, and most of my family agree. My brother said I should post on here if this is still causing issues, so AITA?</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Edited for people asking - All the toys and things together were worth around $100. I&#39;ll admit Liz&#39;s sketch pad wasn&#39;t nearly as much, more dollar store type, so yes I do understand them feeling upset and having the gifts given out in front of everyone.</p> </blockquote><p>Here&#39;s what people had to say:</p><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/bonesxandxcoffee/">bonesxandxcoffee</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>Based off the additional op comments, yeah YTA, and so is your mother. Liz is 17, and was given a cheap sketch pad that probably isn&#39;t even the grade/value she normally uses, whereas everyone else had meaningful, thoughtful gifts.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Your mother needs to keep out of you family dynamic with that &quot;ask your real father&quot; bullshit. Obviously there&#39;s a reason Liz doesn&#39;t.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Mindless-Client3366/">Mindless-Client3366</a> writes:</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>I&#39;d bet that the comments don&#39;t stop with &quot;ask your real father&quot;. There&#39;s probably comments about her not being part of the family, etc. Liz and Kate have been dealing with this for YEARS.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>It can&#39;t be easy for Kate to hear those comments either. Mom should have been told a long time ago that if she wants to see any part of that family, she needs to treat EVERYONE like family.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/RedSealWitch/">RedSealWitch</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>So your mother gave everyone else multiple gifts and only gave your stepdaughter a dollar store sketch pad (not even an art kit, just a sketch pad) which 100% felt like a slap in the face to her, and when your mother made the unnecessary comment about her real father you still thought that was ok? Yeah YTA</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/aitaaccount457/">aitaaccount457</a> OP responded:</p><blockquote> <p>I didn&#39;t think it was okay, mom&#39;s made the comment about asking Liz&#39;s father for things she wants before and I told her it&#39;s harsh, considering he&#39;s passed away. I just thought Kate was blowing it up and nitpicking about gifts.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/bonesxandxcoffee/">bonesxandxcoffee</a> jumped back in:</p><blockquote> <p>Edit: HOLD UP HER FATHER QUITE LITERALLY ISN&#39;T IN THE PICTURE BECAUSE HES DEAD AND YOUR MOTHER STILL MADE THAT REMARK?!? AND ALL YOU SAID WAS &quot;that&#39;s harsh&quot;? Doubling down on my answer now wtf.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/duck-84/">duck-84</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>He&#39;s dead??? For f**k sake. This is a YTA with a bullet. That&#39;s some important context you left out there, OP. Also OP&#39;s mom is an actual monster with that &quot;Ask your real father for gifts&quot; comments. I can&#39;t even. Wow.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Man's mom gives stepdaughter cheap Xmas gift; says 'ask her real father for a gift.'

AITA for telling my wife she was causing a scene and not defending her with my mom? I (42) have a step daughter &#39;Liz&#39; (17) from my wife &#39;Kate&#39; (42) first marriage. Me and Kate also have a daughter &#39;Emma&#39; (3) together. Liz doesn&#39;t call me dad and usually refers to me as Mr my last name.  I&#39;ll be honest that this bothered me a little, but this is what Liz feels comfortable with so I never pushed it. We&#39;re not close, but we have a good relationship overall, and she loves Emma.  We weren&#39;t able to get together with my side of the family over Christmas, so my family had a late Christmas/New Year&#39;s gathering where my mom gave her Christmas gifts for the grandkids. She got Emma some toys and Liz a sketch pad (she&#39;s an artist so it&#39;s not a random gift).  Liz (and Kate, my wife) were disappointed, and Kate pulled my mom aside later (I was around) to say she shouldn&#39;t have given the gifts out in front of everyone and Liz is hurt.  Basically my mom ended up saying that she went out of her way to get Liz a gift as a grandma, when Liz doesn&#39;t even consider me any kind of father figure. If they (Liz and Kate) have such an issue with the gifts, they can go ask Liz&#39;s real father for a gift.  Kate didn&#39;t take that comment well and caused a bit of a scene, and said my mom has &quot;no respect&quot; for them. I tried to calm it down, and I did tell mom she was being a little harsh. I also told Kate she was causing a scene and blowing this up for no reason, and that she was the one nitpicking about gifts and mom just responded to her.  Kate was angry and said I should&#39;ve defended her. It&#39;s been a couple of weeks and she&#39;s still a little upset with me. I don&#39;t think I&#39;m really in the wrong here, and most of my family agree. My brother said I should post on here if this is still causing issues, so AITA?  Edited for people asking - All the toys and things together were worth around $100. I&#39;ll admit Liz&#39;s sketch pad wasn&#39;t nearly as much, more dollar store type, so yes I do understand them feeling upset and having the gifts given out in front of everyone. Here&#39;s what people had to say:bonesxandxcoffee writes: Based off the additional op comments, yeah YTA, and so is your mother. Liz is 17, and was given a cheap sketch pad that probably isn&#39;t even the grade/value she normally uses, whereas everyone else had meaningful, thoughtful gifts.  Your mother needs to keep out of you family dynamic with that &quot;ask your real father&quot; bullshit. Obviously there&#39;s a reason Liz doesn&#39;t. Mindless-Client3366 writes: I&#39;d bet that the comments don&#39;t stop with &quot;ask your real father&quot;. There&#39;s probably comments about her not being part of the family, etc. Liz and Kate have been dealing with this for YEARS.  It can&#39;t be easy for Kate to hear those comments either. Mom should have been told a long time ago that if she wants to see any part of that family, she needs to treat EVERYONE like family. RedSealWitch writes: So your mother gave everyone else multiple gifts and only gave your stepdaughter a dollar store sketch pad (not even an art kit, just a sketch pad) which 100% felt like a slap in the face to her, and when your mother made the unnecessary comment about her real father you still thought that was ok? Yeah YTA aitaaccount457 OP responded: I didn&#39;t think it was okay, mom&#39;s made the comment about asking Liz&#39;s father for things she wants before and I told her it&#39;s harsh, considering he&#39;s passed away. I just thought Kate was blowing it up and nitpicking about gifts. bonesxandxcoffee jumped back in: Edit: HOLD UP HER FATHER QUITE LITERALLY ISN&#39;T IN THE PICTURE BECAUSE HES DEAD AND YOUR MOTHER STILL MADE THAT REMARK?!? AND ALL YOU SAID WAS &quot;that&#39;s harsh&quot;? Doubling down on my answer now wtf.  duck-84 writes: He&#39;s dead??? For f**k sake. This is a YTA with a bullet. That&#39;s some important context you left out there, OP. Also OP&#39;s mom is an actual monster with that &quot;Ask your real father for gifts&quot; comments. I can&#39;t even. Wow. 

AITA for telling my wife she was causing a scene and not defending her with my mom?   I (42) have a step daughter &#39;Liz&#39; (17) from my wife &#39;Kate&#39; (42) first marriage. Me and Kate also have a daughter &#39;Emma&#39; (3)...