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'My husband convinced me to work at his company to help him to stop cheating.' UPDATED 2X

'My husband convinced me to work at his company to help him to stop cheating.' UPDATED 2X

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"My husband convinced me to get a job at his company hoping it would help him to stop cheating."

So my husband (m36) and I (f35) are high school sweethearts. We got pregnant in high school, dated for a few years after we had our baby, and decided we did want to get married. Through every single up and down, we were there for one another. I honestly didn’t think we could have a more perfect relationship. It’s something I have been so proud about most of my life.

About four months ago, my husband asked me to get a job at his company. Before this I had just been working part time jobs, because we didn’t really need the money since we weren’t financially responsible for a child anymore. However, we agreed the extra money would be lovely to go towards our family trip funds. Something we both and our son add too as often as possible.

Our hope being to take a family vacation across Europe for a few months. And we are trying to make it happen sooner than later, because our son is recently married. We want them to be able to still go one the trip without worrying about a new baby.

Once I got the job I thought it was such a great decision. I was making quite a bit of extra money and seeing my husband so much more. Well a couple weeks ago, one of his co workers approached me, and asked how I could be so cool with the ongoing situation. I had no idea what she was talking about.

So I asked for more detail, and she told me my husband and one of his coworkers had been having an affair for over a year. Well honestly, I trust my husband more than this woman I just met. I told him about it that night, and he immediately broke down.

He told me he was so sorry, but it was true. He said I’m still the love of his life, but he needs some excitement outside of our relationship. He told me he had been feeling so guilty about it, he asked me to start working there. Hoping it would make him want to cheat less. But it’s actually just caused them to sneak around more, and find their relationship even more hot.

I don’t know what to do. I’m so humiliated. I feel like I should stick this out, because we have been together so long, and I know it would devastate our son. But I don’t think I can move on from this. He didn’t even apologize. Just told me every man needs something new and exciting in a long term relationship. And that it means nothing. Well it certainly feels like something.

Commenters offered their advice and support:

BetterBiscuits said:

Getting you to work there and then continue to sneak around is so sad and sadistic. I’m so sorry. No one deserves that.

ayymahi said:

So he made you get a job at his company to make you look stupid…he thought it would stop his cheating but it made him sneak around more. Him & yall coworker some dumpster human beings. Who ever told you about them a real one!

CermaitLaphroaig said:

Why do they always say "you're the love of my life"? It's patently absurd. You should not stick this out. Absolutely not. Not only did he cheat for over a year, he brought you into the workplace (so he would cheat less... not STOP cheating, cheat LESS) and CHEATED EVEN HARDER.

He's a scumbag who won't apologize for fucking some random woman who "means nothing", yet who he was willing to risk his marriage to the aforementioned "love of his life" for.

He deserves nothing from you, and you deserve someone who actually cares about you. Someone this cavalier about cheating, I'm willing to bet this isn't the first time. He's still defending himself with utter tripe that (for the record) is complete nonsense. No, most men don't cheat. They just don't. Lawyer up, and kick his ass.

LillyLing10 said:

Your husband is scum and used you working their to make your humiliation hotter for him and AP. Divorce now don't fudge around thinking he will change, because he won't. He will only hide it more, then you'll find out be more hurt.

And [deleted] said:

Get a divorce lawyer asap. He had no intention of stopping the affair and let you wonder around work with coworkers who KNEW he was cheating. Get the fuck out of there.

She later shared this first update:

Thank you everyone for the kind words and support. I also got many messages that were so sweet. It has been really helpful to read everyone’s advice.

I was trying to figure out the best way to tell our son. I wanted to sit him down and let him know that my husband and I are getting a divorce. I bought the things to make his favorite meal, and invited him over for dinner. Well a couple hours ago, he called me and was extremely upset. He said that my husband told him I cheated and we were getting a divorce.

He begged my son not to tell me, as it would just cause further problems. But my son wanted to know how I could do that to dad and couldn’t stay silent. I told him what actually happened over the phone and he started crying. I am absolutely furious that my husband put my son through that.

Even though he’s an adult, it’s still a very upsetting topic and it should’ve been handled with care. Not lies. I found a great divorce lawyer with my friends help, and I am getting the ball rolling immediately.

His mistress also messaged me after she found out I knew. She said I should be grateful that my husband and I had a good marriage while we did, but she would be taking my place now. I ignored her message and blocked her.

I have an amazing support system in place and will be moving out later today. I’m staying with my friend and his wife until I can find a place of my own. I told my husband I was divorcing him and moving out. He broke down and asked how I could do this to our family. He said I’m the one making the decision to end it, and I should be ashamed I would throw away our marriage.

He said he couldn’t believe I would throw in the towel so quickly. I told him to fuck off and go cry to his mistress. So now you’re all caught up. If anymore happens, I might update again. Thank you all again for your kind words and support. You guys have made this a little easier.

A few days later, she shared this second update on the situation:

So I read everyone’s comments about reporting my husband and his mistress to HR. And also sleeping with his boss. I did report them to HR, but unfortunately there isn’t anything they can really do, because there’s not actually any proof. I should them the texts, but they said unless I had proof of them committing acts on work property, nothing could be done.

On one bright side (I guess) I, and his mistress, found out there had been a LOT of others. Including some older than her. His oldest affair had been going on for over five years. It was just a friends with benefits type situation. It was one of them moms I was on the PTA with.

Both married and just looking for sex apparently. Well his mistress is just DEVASTATED. She’s cannot believe he could possibly do this to her. She actually reached out to me asking for advice on how to handle everything. Once she realized I blocked her, she had one of our coworkers come and ask me.

As for my job goes, I actually really love it. Fuck the two of them, I’m keeping it. I’m good at it, and I enjoy it. I make a livable wage from it. HR did tell me they would transfer me to a different branch, so I’m actually in the process of moving. Not just out of my ex’s and I’s house, but pretty far away.

My Ex begged me for a second shot. To honor my vows and the commitment I made. He got VERY upset when I brought up the fact that he didn’t keep his vows. He told me, that first and foremost loyalty should come first. That no matter the mistake I should stand by his side. I looked at him and told him to miss my fucking ass. That is my favorite thing to come out of this so far.

My son believed me 100%. Without showing him the messages from the mistress. He cut contact with his dad. Also to clear up some confusion, my son is 20. He met us girlfriend the first year of college and they got married two months ago. Very recent, and part of the reason I was so concerned about the news of his dad and I.

So all in all I am moving, and starting over. And I have full support from everyone except my parents, who think I should stay and stick it out.

Sources: Reddit
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