'My husband has a nickname for me in his group chat and won't tell me what it means.' UPDATED

"Husband (32M) and his friends have a nickname for me (35F) in their group chat, he won't tell me what it means"

Here's the original podt:

This happened a couple days ago. My phone died right as I was texting my mom about something rather important so my husband let me use his. As I was typing, a banner popped up with a text from one of his friends to their group chat, saying to the effect of "hey (Husband), do you and ST still want to (halloween plan we'd talked about)?" So of course I'm like who's ST, those are not my initials.

I briefly looked at the chat. A few messages up I was at least able to confirm "ST" was me, in context of my husband mentioning a specific thing I'd done that day. Like I said S.T. is not an abbreviation of my name or any name I would go by. None of our friends calls me by anything other than my real name. So I was confused. I showed him the chat and asked what it stood for.

He looked suddenly really flustered. He grabbed his phone back and said "oh uhh it's nothing, just a nickname." Okay? Well what's it stand for? He literally wouldn't tell me...he just kept saying "don't worry about it." Well is there some reason I would need to worry? I wouldn't be worrying if he just explained what it meant...

I was a little put off by this, to find out all his friends are calling me something I don't even know about? I told him even if it's just some dumb joke at least tell me. Because clamming up just makes it look kind of weird. He still refused to tell me. This entire back and forth was maybe a minute or two. Then, he suddenly goes, "Okay fine it's Super Terrific."

Umm..... Look, I can't tell if I'm being crazy but I just don't fully buy that? If that's all it was, why not say so the first time I asked? I asked like 3 or 4 times for him to tell me what it stood for. Why keep avoiding it? On the other hand I know this makes me look like a really high strung paranoid person to be suspicious when it could so easily be what he said.

I don't want to accuse him of lying with no proof, and over something so stupid. This is still bugging me a little. I just want to know if I'm being insane to have an inkling of doubt about it standing for Super Terrific. Do you think he was telling the truth? Would it be ridiculous to bring it up again at this point?

TL;DR: My husband's group chat refers to me as "S.T." which my husband says is for Super Terrific, I don't fully believe he's telling the truth. I'm worried I'm being dramatic to keep overanalyzing his reaction when I asked and thinking about what else it could mean.

What do you think is going on here? Is she being dramatic? This is what top commenters had to say:

Tank261528 said:

My money is on Sugar Tits

mushroommoo said:

He 100% lied and now I wanna know what the nickname truly means too

fireroseny said:

Surely This man Should’ve Told his Super Terrific wife the truth once Secrecy Time ended. Seriously Though, that’s a pretty Shitty Thing to be caught in a lie for Something That Shouldn’t Test a marriage. Sorry To OP.

enonymousCanadian said:

Time to group chat with the other wives.

Throwrefaway19111986 said:

I'm voting it's for Super Tramp. Or stupid tramp.

alissa2579 said:

I wouldn’t buy it either. If he won’t tell you, call someone on the group text

anonoldman2020 said:

Start using A.W. for him. Never tell him that it stands for Ass Wipe. It appears that you are not married to an adult.

A week later, she shared this update on the situation:

Well, not a happy ending. Ended up getting a text from one of my husband's female friends in his group chat, the day after I posted here. Turned out that right after I asked him about the nickname, he told all of them I'd seen it and to stop calling me that. She sent me a screenshot of his message which reads verbatim,

"LOL o sh!t [my wife] just saw that, I'm so screwed hahaha but seriously don't send that anymore, I'm gonna end up in the doghouse (tears of laughter emoji)" The female friend who reached out is a new addition to the group as of a couple months ago (friend of the girl one of his guy friends is dating) I'd met her a couple times on group outings and liked her.

She told me she was uncomfortable once she caught on that "ST" was me and they were using that behind my back. Then when she was told what it stood for, after my husband's message, she thought to contact me in case I didn't know about it. I'm extremely grateful for this.

Now the part everyone wanted to know... a lot of you thought it was Sugar Tits. I really wish. That would be cute and funny. Nope, not my luck. It stands for "sausage tits." yeah. That's what my husband and his gaggle of mental 12 year olds refer to me.

I don't even know how or why it started. I cannot fathom the thought that my husband could have described my boobs in detail to all his friends. And then they thought it sounded hilarious enough to make a nickname out of?? I literally don't even know what to feel. I haven't been more humiliated in my life than I am right now.

I don't know what to do about him. He apologized but because it's just a joke to him, he doesn't seem to get or care how I feel. He apologized sincerely and promised he'd never call me that again or let any of his friends. Why did he ever in the first place. It's not a complimentary nickname that you wouldn't foresee a person not liking... right? Isn't it obvious it's mean spirited, or am I crazy to assume so?

Is there some way I'm just not able to see where it's not actually as bad as I feel?? Anyway, that's about it. I don't know what to do. We're sleeping in separate rooms because I can't bare to be near him or have him see me. I never want him to see me naked again. I'm trying to figure out if my need for space is temporary or permanent. If it's permanent, then I'll be pursuing divorce.

I just thought so highly of him. I never could have imagined he'd view me like this behind his back. It's like if he was to gain weight and I encouraged all my friends to start calling him fatass or beer belly behind his back. What other possible reason to do that than contempt. I said this but he insists it's doesn't have any deeper meaning and is just bad humor.

Whatever. Time to put kiddos to bed, while he's typing away at his phone on the other side of the room. See, the issue I'm realizing is now there will always be a fear in my mind that he's saying nasty things about me to who knows who. So there's the update, Sausage Tits signing out.

TL;DR: No idea how I'll trust him again, realistically speaking this is likely to be another story that ends in divorce. Not even sure if he really gets it or cares.