I (SAHM with 3 kids) was in the midst of doing laundry when my husband (breadwinner, works as a pilot) asked if I could iron his uniform before his shift. I didn't say 'yes' because I was busy (laundry then kids homework then cooking etc...). I said I may not find the time to to do it. He turned around and walked away completely ignoring what I was saying.
An hour later, he came downstairs freaking out asking why I didn't iron his uniform when he asked me to. I told him I was busy and reminded him of how I didn't say yes to his request.
He blew up saying that I obviously don't care about him displaying 'professionalism' at work (um..it's just a uniform? It's not like it was dirty just needed some ironing). He lectured me about how his work is important and although I'm a SAHM I still should make his job a priority.
He decided to miss his shift as a way to 'teach me a lesson' and show me how my lack of cooperation and my refusal to help him out could affect the money that keeps coming in. I called him 'insane' for missing the shift, and he got offended and called me a hypocrite for calling him insane and acting all surprised when it was me who caused this situation to happen.
I mean I could have taken some time off doing my chores to iron his uniform, but still thought his reaction was a bit much. AITA?
For those asking why he didn't iron the uniform himself? Because I'm the one who usually do the ironing and he said it's 'on the list' of my house chores list which's true, but I don't give it priority like other chores like homework or laundry.
Questions, answers and comments:
Rohini_rambles says:
OP's husband sounds like the type to financially abuse and punish OP for any imaginary transgression. Does he get violent with you OP? Yell a lot? Yell at the kids? Has he been a good husband and father?
throwRa6546009 says:
Thing is he's known to be petty and is prone to exaggeration all the time which's frustrating.
TermsNcond says:
NTA. Offer to call his boss to personally apologize and explain why he missed his shift. He didn't go to work to teach you a lesson for not ironing his uniform.
Sabatiea says:
For me, anytime an adult says they are/want to 'teach a lesson' to another adult is a massive red flag and just cause to distance yourself away from them, if not to leave all together.
kitty_meouw says:
'Attention passengers of Flight 123XYZ, unfortunately your flight has been cancelled because your pilot - while perfectly capable of operating a highly complex 450 ton machine - was not able to iron his work shirt, and therefore had to stay home to sulk. Our sincere apologies for the inconvenience.'
DynkoFromTheNorth says:
Holy sh*t. Run like HELL, OP! This is a disaster waiting to happen! Your husband is a manipulative narcissist! He's gonna get reprimanded or even fired abd will blame you for it?! NTA. Get rid of him. He'll start to become more and more controlling as time progresses.