Marriage can be a beautiful institution. Deciding to tie your life to another person out of love is a massive leap of faith, and can take you to some really lovely spaces of growth. Building a life full of memories and rituals can carve out a safe emotional space in a chaotic world, and give you the framework for years of meaningful companionship.
On the other hand, marriage is no endless walk in the park. Combining lives with a partner means lots of compromises, arguments, and dealing with the way another person throws their socks on the floor, or scrapes their fork on the plate. This is to say, some things do get harder with marriage - which is where the work comes in.
In a popular Ask Reddit thread, people shared the things that get hard when you get married.
1. From Ok-Strain-9847:
Finding out that your in-laws (who put up with you and tried to act nice till you got married) are really a**holes that normal people don't want to deal with.
2. From smartlypretty:
If it's forever, one of you is likely to die first. (it wasn't me.)
3. From breakwater:
For better or worse includes the worse. When your spouse has a chronic health issue, a mental health issue, substance abuse problems, you have committed to be there for at least a reasonable effort in carrying through it together. That can be taxing beyond belief.
4. From meggors2020:
Your spouse's family problems become yours.
5. From txvacil:
Not being on the same level of dishwasher organization.
6. From HearTheCrushingSteel:
Restaurant leftovers not still being in the fridge where you left them.
7. From SlackBlade:
Being a saver married to a spender.
8. From WonderfulExercise527:
If you're young, having all the extended family bug you about when you're going to have kids.
9. From KronikQueen:
Having to decide what to eat every night for the rest of your life while trying to accommodate the other.
10. From starry_mist:
The tax benefits aren't as great as you hoped.
11. From Logical_Foundation95:
Having to miss holidays with your own family.
12. From rogerbrowngreen:
I lost my wife a few days ago. Marriage was the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. What 'sucks' is when it's all gone. Everyone b**ches and moans about what they need to put up with when married but honestly I'd go through it all for eternity if it meant she was still by my side.
13. From Better-Reflection-44:
When you leave a hang-up unaddressed from when you were dating. Sure so if like they do something that annoys you now, address it, because it will not get better after you get married. It will do the opposite and become a thing. Example: My wife hated me say that she nags me, before we got married.
I stopped because it bothered her for me to say so. In the reverse, she has a deafening whistle that is so high-pitched and out of tune that it would give me a headache. I addressed it, she can whistle just not in the car. It's the little things that make you love them, but sometimes the little annoying habits fester and eventually drive you apart.
If you marry them, you are telling them that you accept them at their current state. Now you can tell them afterward, but depending on how long it's been happening the harder it is to break the habit.
14. From citruslighting:
Depends on what living situation you're used to. For me, I grew up an only child, and I had lived on my own for about 2-3 years before my wife and I got married, so I was used to being alone a lot of the time and I was pretty settled in my routines and general way of living.
My wife on the other hand grew up with 6 siblings, never had her own room, had to share everything, and was used to noise and general commotion 24/7.
So when she first moved into my house, there was definitely an adjustment period. I was used to just coming home and going straight to my home studio to work on music or to my living room to play video games, and having peaceful quiet alone time all night. But suddenly I had someone wanting to go out and do things when I got home from work, or wanting me to come to bed earlier than I want to.
At first, it was hard, working through differences in how we do most things; Which cabinet pots and pans should go in, if silverware should be mouth-side up or down in the dishwasher, how many covers we like to sleep with, the AC setting at night, etc. But after like a couple months it worked itself out.
We just kinda let each other be the way we are and if there is a discrepancy in our opinions on how to handle things we work it out, it's really not that hard. Just requires a little humility and patience.
15. From snecklesnecks:
Never having the bed to yourself.