Loss is so hard, especially if you aren't getting the support you need. When this widow is angry at her late husband's MIL, she asks the popular Reddit forum:
Background: I (f27) lost my late husband (m33) 3 years ago. He suffered from a chronic condition and the majority of our time (11 months) was spent at hospitals, we eventually got engaged and then married in one.
But he passed away 3 weeks later. So much happened in such a short time and it all just left me devastated beyond measure.
I have a good relationship with his family though they were still in contact with my late husband's ex who left him after being together for 6 years because she couldn't handle it when his condition got worse.
My late husband dealt with mental health decline because of it but Clearly, my inlaws had forgiven her. They even allowed her to attend the funeral and also, gave her some of his belongings as keepsakes.
I'm friends with MIL on facebook. Earlier, I came across a post she made on her FB account congratulating my husband's ex for her newborn baby then announcing that the baby was named after him. I couldn't believe it. MIL acted as if the ex was his wife and this was his child. I called MIL to ask her about it but got no answer.
So I went to her house, brought up the post she made and told her how uncomfortable it made me. She acted like what she did was normal then went on about how my husband's ex is like a daughter to her.
Again, I told her how this made me feel and asked her to take the post down - She refused, I got upset and said that she was being disrespectful of me as her son's wife and told to take it down.
she got defensive saying that my husband's ex did all she could to be there for him and that it was okay that she felt she couldn't handle the situation anymore and broke things off with him peacefully.
She said that it's just a name and that I had no business even mentioning it, much less start an argument about it and dictate what she should and shouldn't post on her feed. She also said that 'yes, other people loved and cared about my husband too' and that I should get over it.
I called her insensitive and delusional which caused her to tell me to leave her house. I returned home feeling horrible. My FIL just called to try to speak to me but I don't feel like talking since I know what he's going to say already and how he'll take his wife's side on this.
I feel enraged honestly. We were fine, we'd call and visit monthly. Now we're having this falling out and it's just horrible.
Aita for my reaction? Was I wrong for this?
NTA. Your MIL was insensitive. However it’s probably for the best that you distance yourself from her anyways. Grieve how you need to grieve and focus on the people who lift you up, not the people who tear you down. Good luck to you. And I’m very sorry for your loss.
YTA sorry. You were with him for less than a year. He had other meaningful and long lasting relationships. You don’t have a monopoly on grief. Nobody is doing this AT you. His mother has a right to grieve as she sees fit. Mute the post, move on, and maybe seek some grief counseling.
Everyone in the comments sucks ass NTA. You were his wife and now a widow not some coward who left bc things got hard. He married you not her and his mom is living in the past. NTA don’t listen to these weirdos in the comments.
YTA everyone has their own breaking point. His ex hit hers. A divorce is ok when your own health mental or physical becomes at risk. Yeah it sucks but such is life. His ex was in his life for literal years, she has massive history with his family. You just so happened to be his new bride at the time, you don’t have history.
His ex can memorialize him in any way she sees fit and you are way out of line as the new family member to demand something like that especially since MIL isn’t.
I got an uncle who married 5 times. All of his exes are still my aunts because they are still family even if they are removed officially. Family is more than just blood it’s also bonds we make. Again YTA.