Wife skips husband's celebration dinner; he says, 'get over your picky eating.'
'AITA for not attending my husband's celebration dinner due to the restaurant not having anything I could eat?'
My husband has been working really hard the last two years to advance at his company and he finally got the promotion he's been after. I'm really, really proud of him. His parents are too and wanted to take us all out to dinner to celebrate. My husband absolutely loves prime rib and there's only one place in our area that serves it so he picked that restaurant.
Thing is- I'm not fond of steak. I'll eat it but very rarely. I prefer chicken or fish. I looked up the menu before leaving and right now they have a limited menu. The place had only one fish entree and two chicken entrees, and none of them sounded good for various reasons.
I suggested that he pick someplace else so everyone can eat. He refused citing that we rarely get to go to this place but go to other places in our area regularly which is true, but those places have lots of variety so everyone can eat. He suggested that I ask if they could prepare the fish or chicken without the marinades or sauces but I didn't want to be difficult for the kitchen staff.
His next suggestion was that I order dessert while everyone else ate entrees and then when we were done, he would take me where I wanted so I could eat dinner while he and the kids ate dessert. So I opted to just not go because I didn't want to sit there not eating and not having a good time while everyone else was.
My husband asked me to go so he could celebrate with the people most important to him. I told him no again and that he needed to get going before he was late. He did go but came back a little over an hour later with the kids and they all had to go boxes.
He said he couldn't think of what to tell the kids about why I didn't go when they kept asking without lying or making me sound bad so he just got an order for them to go and let the kids spend some time with their grandparents talking in the parking lot.
I told him he should have stayed, but he said that I put him in a bad spot with the kids and that I knew he wanted everyone there and that I should've just gotten over my picky eating for one night. I maintain if he really wanted us to all eat dinner as a family then he should've picked a restaurant with a more accommodating menu. AITA?
Info from OP:
The appetizers were all fried foods ie. fried onion, fried pickles, fried mushrooms, etc and I don't eat fried foods.
I don't eat ribs or anything made from pig because it upsets my stomach and makes me gassy. Steaks are a 50/50 if I get gassy. Half the sides had bacon in them so those were out. One salad had peppered steak in it, their other salad option said they were temporarily out because they didn't have the mandarins, grapes, and cranberries for it.
The various reasons was one of the chicken dishes was chicken fried chicken, and I don't eat fried foods. The fish was snapper, which I don't like, and was stated as being marinated in bourbon sauce prior to cooking, and the chicken glazed with a bourbon sauce. I can't stand even the smallest hints of bourbon or its smell.
Here's what people had to say:
Few_Screen_1566 writes:
She flat out states she'll eat it on occasion - and yet apparently this important moment for her husband isn't a good enough reason to suck it up! They also had chicken and fish.. there is literally no reason not to go! Other than being cruel. Yta.
Lucy_Koshka writes:
I don’t eat seafood. At all. Like the smell makes me mildly nauseous. If there was some place that ONLY served seafood, that my husband was dying to go to (because he, on the other hand, LOVES it) I truly cannot see myself doing anything other than going with him.
I’ll have some drinks and get happily buzzed and munch on some non seafood apps or sides. Why? Because I love my husband, we’re a team, and I know he’d do the exact same for me (I mean the dude will eat absolutely anything but y’all know what I mean). I’m getting some major petty, contemptuous vibes coming from op so I think she’s got disdain for more than steak. ETA: YTA op. Obv.
Snowconetypebanana writes:
I’m vegan and have been to steak houses with my husband several times. He’s not a big steak eater either but every once in a while he wants to go to a nicer steak restaurant. I go and just find literally anything on the menu. The very few times we’ve gone somewhere where there was literally nothing I could eat, I just ordered cocktails instead.
TendoninBOB writes:
YTA, selfish, and a poor partner.
Don’t lie. It wasn’t that there was nothing you could eat, there was nothing you WANTED. You also were too scared to ask the staff for a substitution. It’s one dinner. You won’t starve if you don’t eat everything on the plate, nor will it poison you. Your husband doesn’t get to go to this restaurant he likes often because he is honoring your wishes most of the time, but you can’t deal with it for him one time.
Final response from OP:
I'm not trying to argue with being called an arsehole because I did come here to see if what I did was questionable, but I did not want him to lie to the kids. He could've told them the truth that Mommy didn't want to be left out or rude. In my family growing up it was considered rude to go out to a restaurant and not order anything.